And…

chemical pregnancy.

It’s something I think has actually happened several times since the miscarriage, but I couldn’t get my last doctor to believe I was right when I felt pregnant and then had abnormal periods. Thanks to this book (and testing early this time), at least now I have hard evidence (triphasic chart and a positive preg test, then bleeding, then a negative test, for those of you playing along at home) to bring to a doctor (a new doctor, who will listen to me), and hopefully the problem can be found and addressed.

So a new doctor, and a naturopath, and we’ll see what happens.

Sorry if this is all too much information for some of you. I don’t plan to keep up this level of bodily disclosure, I promise.

Also, I’ll probably be quiet for a few days here. Talk amongst yourselves.

If I owe you an email, and I owe many emails right now, I’ll try to get back to you before the week is out. But not today.

Posted in Uncategorized
41 comments on “And…
  1. rachel says:

    That must be heartbreaking for you to go through every month. It’s hard to pay so much attention to your body that you know the slight differences while seeing a doctor who won’t acknowledge that. I’m glad you got a new doctor that will listen to you.

  2. Alyssa says:

    I am glad you found a new doctor and hope stuff gets figured out. Get lots of rest, and my best wishes are coming your way.

  3. Ginny says:

    I’m glad you are so informed about your body and that you found a doctor who will listen to what you know. Good thoughts coming your way.

  4. Anna says:

    I like the fact that you are willing to share. I think we, as a society, don’t spend enough time talking about pregnancies that don’t work out. I found out that nothing gets people to clam up quite like telling them you had a miscarriage. We need to be more open about it, and people need to know what to say. On that note, I am sorry for the loss of your pregnancies, and I hope you are able to have more children as wonderful as Thumper.

  5. Sharon says:

    I hope that you get answers, and solutions. It must be so hard for you all. I think its great that you are changing doctor and learning more about your own body and how it all works. Power to you.

  6. susan says:

    Good luck with the new doctor. You sound like you’re doing a great job incorporating new information (even if it’s not always the easiest news to swallow).

  7. I am happy you found some answers and wish you luck with the new doctor. Health and happiness to you.

  8. Caroline says:

    Fuck, honey, I’m sorry. But it is good that you have a new doctor and you can figure out some answers. You still remain my hero for being so bold and honest.

  9. Paula says:

    Chemical pregnancies suck, but that along with your charting tells you that not only are you ovulating, but that sperm are getting to your eggs. That’s fantastic!! That alone rules out a lot of possibilities. So you are narrowing in. It will piss you off to hear it again no doubt, but I know a few ladies (including myself) who just couldn’t get there until we had weaned our first child all the way. Then got pregnant the next cycle. I’m JUST saying -so don’t be mad. I didn”t want to hear it at the time either…

  10. Tiny Tyrant says:

    Oh honey. Make sure the new doctor does a full day three blood work up on you. (just started year four of trying so I’m familiar with it).

    I cannot for the life of me remember the hormone they check for, but since I ‘think’ you are still nursing Thumper, it might be an issue. I know it’s related. Stupid brain won’t give me the word I’m looking for.

    And at this point I’d be happy to get to the chemical pregnancy point.

    Hugs.

  11. Suzanne says:

    Thank you for sharing your experience and your honesty. I’m sorry for your loss. I found both acupuncture and http://www.fertilityfriend.com helpful in my attempts at a healthy, viable pregnancy.

  12. Jaime says:

    I’m glad you have a new doctor that listens. That’s so important, especially with these types of concerns.

  13. Knittripps says:

    It is important to have a doctor that will listen. Wishing you well and sending encouragement your way. I have a copy of that book on my nightstand as well.

  14. Good for you to find a doctor who will listen. And a naturopath. I’ve struggled with a different issue for the past 2.5 years and NO ONE would listen. They blew me off every time. I recently found a naturopath I like and trust, and a doctor (the 4th I’ve tried) who is eager to work with her. AND the problem is getting better. Yay!

    I hope that path gets you exactly what you want, too.

    XO

  15. Li says:

    I have this theory that babies break all social norms even before they are conceived. This just convinces me of my theory. The book was empowering to me and taught me a lot about my body, when I thought I knew it all.
    Good for you for trusting yourself and advocating for you and yours. Peace.

  16. mamie says:

    answers, knowledge and support help so much at times like this. i am glad you have found that knowing helps more than not. and thinking very positive and fertile thoughts for you as you find your way to your bebe.

  17. caroline g says:

    I send you hugs, chica. many hugs.

  18. Norma says:

    Sorry, Honey. I had one of these, too, and never knew the name for it. I called it a “false positive.”

    Here comes the unsolicited advice you love: Are you taking folic acid every day?

  19. jodi says:

    Lots of hugs, hon.

    I find it so very sad how happy we all are that you’ve switched to a doctor who respects what you have to say about your own body. It seems so wrong that we all recognize how rare a doctor like this is. When I asked a doctor last year about a tubal ligation, she asked me how old I am and then said “I can make you an appointment to talk to a surgeon”. That she didn’t say, oh, you’re still too young, or oh, you might change your mind, made me want to dance with happiness. I don’t know how the medical profession came to distrust women as it does, but am mightily glad you’ve found someone better for you.

  20. claudia says:

    I’m really sorry for the pain that this is causing you. Don’t you wish that suffering would stop being our damned teacher?? (as counterproductive as that last statement may be….)

  21. Cara says:

    information – damned if you have it, damned if you don’t.

    Glad you found a doctor who will listen and respect.

  22. Laura says:

    I have had that too. Try acupuncture, too.
    Good luck.

  23. astoria says:

    I wish you a swift change of fortune in this area of your life. I’ve had many of those, including the one that occurred the cycle right before Phoebe. It’s hard to make sense of, yes. I didn’t even know if I was supposed to feel like I had a miscarriage or not.

    Peace.

  24. Heather says:

    Sorry that it took another loss to have “evidence” that you were right. I will cross my fingers that the new doctor will have some good ideas on what is going on.

  25. heather says:

    gah. sorry to hear it lady. but you have information now – information is good. and strengthening. that sounds a little lame, but i genuinely believe it.
    lots of love.

  26. Amy in StL says:

    Wow, I had no idea there was such a thing. I love learning new things, so that someday – should I ever find a man – I’ll be equipped with all this knowledge. Thanks for sharing and good luck in figuring things out!

  27. Lizbon says:

    Though I know nothing about this whole area of life (by choice, of course), this makes perfect sense somehow. Rest sounds like a good idea, as does the new doc, and trusting your instincts, which is exactly what it sounds like you’re doing.

  28. Emma says:

    I’m so sorry, but glad that you’ve found a doctor who will listen to you. Good luck.

  29. Christiane says:

    Hugs to you and your family as you come to terms with this latest news. I’m glad that you’ve found a new doctor and I hope they treat you with the utmost respect and intelligence.
    Good luck and fingers crossed in your direction!!

  30. Katie says:

    haiku:

    this body is strange
    there is no manual and
    I’ve lost the damn keys

  31. Lydia says:

    I am glad that you found a new doctor. Any doctor who won’t listen is as useless as a detective who only searches half of the crime scene.
    My best wishes for a happy outcome.

  32. SJ says:

    Please keep talking. I don’t shut up about my own miscarriages. I felt for such a long time that it was something to feel ashamed of. When I started talking I found out that I know far more women than not who have had them, many of us repeatedly. I kept thinking that if I had known that it was so common I wouldn’t have felt like there was something wrong with me, that I had failed in doing a very fundamental, basic thing. A midwife described miscarriages as a pretty normal part of our reproductive years, yet it certainly isn’t treated that way. Good luck with the new doctor – there are a lot of really good ones out there who listen, who respect what you do know about your own body, and who will work with you to get to whatever the next step ends up being.

  33. anina says:

    Just, you know, big hugs all around to your house.

  34. rubyredruca says:

    *hugs* How frustrating! I know it can feel so out-there-for-the-world-to-see when sharing something so personal, but also a comfort to know that there is a whole world of people that have gone through your same struggle. I had never heard the term chemical pregnancy before, but find it fascinating. Kudos to you for figuring it out and finding a new doc. I totally think you’ll be getting your baby this year. Just hang in there and don’t let yourself get too stressed out.

  35. MoDLin says:

    Good for you for finding someone who will listen to you and include your input into the whole process. Becoming a partner with your provider helps enormously. Too bad so many women haven’t been able to find that.

    Best wishs.

  36. Rebecca says:

    I’m glad you shared – good news or bad – there are a lot of people out there who can relate and really care what happens to you. I’m one of them. And by all means take a break if that’s how you feel!

  37. beverly says:

    I’m happy you’ve found a new dr. and new information. I have to thank you for the link. I think the one and only time I thought I was pregnant, this is what happened. I like what the site said about grieving for this. I never, ever talked about it with anyone because my doctor assured me I hadn’t been pregnant, but I knew. Reading about chemical pregnancy made me feel that I was right, that I ought to have been able to trust what I knew. Thanks for giving me that.

  38. Samantha says:

    I had one of those years ago, my doctor called it a “dissolved pregnancy” …

    I’m glad you have found a new doctor who will listen to you. :)

  39. megan says:

    i’m so sorry, Cari. i’m glad you’re sharing this though. it’s upsetting how taboo it is to talk about losses like this. i’m glad you found a new doctor — good ones are so hard to find. we struggled to get a pregnancy to stick for two years. now that i’m 36, am nursing a nine-month old, and want to get pregnant again, i’m finding again how hard it is to get a doctor to simply listen. take good care.

  40. Dr. Steph says:

    I hope you find the answers you need to get from your new doctor.

    I have some unsolicited advice, but I’m keeping it to myself.

  41. Jeanne says:

    Sorry I’m so late with this comment. Toni W. lives in Seattle . Several years ago, a friend of mine tracked her down and asked if she would be willing to make an appt. to talk about her fertility struggles. Toni agreed and they met–and my friend was able to figure out the exact point where problems happened for her. I don’t know if you’ve pursued this or if you’re interested, but it’s something to put in your pocket for later…

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