It’s spring, the sun is out, there are babies everywhere…
…and yet.
A bit down today, a bit scattered. Transitions are hard, even when transitioning from one good thing to another. I’m on the verge of maybe getting everything I’ve ever wanted artistically, or maybe failing miserably, or most likely settling somewhat comfortably between those two poles.
I’m terrified.
The novel is almost done. Just minor revisions left before I have a final draft. It’s going to go out into the world relatively soon (fingers crossed, folks), and I won’t be able to protect it any longer. Some people will love it, some people will not love it, and as with most books, most people won’t even know it exists. Of those who don’t love it, some of them will hate it. A good chunk of them will be offended. (No, this does not concern me.)
Just when I most want to crawl into my cave, I find myself with a million social obligations. I’m going to see The Hold Steady tonight and don’t even feel like doing that.
And even as I type this I feel ridiculous. We found out last night that a friend of Billy’s killed herself. THAT’S pain. All I’ve got is stage fright. I can’t imagine that urge. I’ve had my share of bad. I really have. Things I don’t blog about, and never will. But I just can’t get my head around how much pain she must have been in to take her own life. So I hurt for her. But I’m also angry at her. Really angry at the selfishness of it. She left a teenage son behind. My father died when I was the same age as this kid is now. My father didn’t kill himself, and still… This poor kid is going to be fucked up over this loss probably forever. Some part of him will always think that his mother preferred death over being there to watch him become an adult. Maybe not the rational part, but how can you be rational about loss… I’m sad, and angry…
So maybe it’s not about the book today. I was feeling angsty about the book yesterday and the day before…but no, I realize now that the way I’m feeling today is because of her. I won’t publish her name or how she did it, out of respect for the family. Out of respect for that kid.
Should I hit publish on this? This isn’t the kind of thing I usually blog. You get a lot less of me here than you probably realize. So should I post this? I think I will. I’ll trust you folks that much.
Be good to each other. Please.
Sounds like you’ve got a lot on your mind.
I look forward to the release of your novel into the wild. I’ll badger my local booksellers to make sure it shows up on their shelves.
I’m sorry that your life was touched by Billy’s friend. If it helps at all, one of the finest human beings I know discovered his mother’s body after she killed herself. I haven’t talked to him much about it, but he’s gone on to live a great life with a lot of love in it.
Posted by: David
ouch.
you are brave to post it. i’m not so i’m sending you my response privately.
or maybe it’s not that i’m not brave, but that i care that YOU know what i think, and i care what YOU think… but not necessarily what other people would jump in and yell about what i have to say.
in other words, probably the same way you felt about hitting ‘publish’. but this is your blog and i don’t want you getting nasty comments over how i feel. 🙂
Posted by: carolyn
I felt the same way when my sister committed suicide. Angry. It fades away but comes back in flashes. Mostly it’s great sadness. She had children too. Even now, 8 years later, it still affects my life but I turn it to the positive. Hang in there.
Posted by: Ande
Sounds like you’ve got a lot on your mind.
I look forward to the release of your novel into the wild. I’ll badger my local booksellers to make sure it shows up on their shelves.
I’m sorry that your life was touched by Billy’s friend. If it helps at all, one of the finest human beings I know discovered his mother’s body after she killed herself. I haven’t talked to him much about it, but he’s gone on to live a great life with a lot of love in it.
Posted by: David
ouch.
you are brave to post it. i’m not so i’m sending you my response privately.
or maybe it’s not that i’m not brave, but that i care that YOU know what i think, and i care what YOU think… but not necessarily what other people would jump in and yell about what i have to say.
in other words, probably the same way you felt about hitting ‘publish’. but this is your blog and i don’t want you getting nasty comments over how i feel. 🙂
Posted by: carolyn
I felt the same way when my sister committed suicide. Angry. It fades away but comes back in flashes. Mostly it’s great sadness. She had children too. Even now, 8 years later, it still affects my life but I turn it to the positive. Hang in there.
Posted by: Ande
Wow, that’s a lot of stuff all going on at once. But try not to compare your angst over your novel to suicide. Your angst is completely legit, and it deserves attention too, even if it’s not as devastating as suicide. And do go out tonight. It’ll help, at least for a little while.
My thoughts are with you…I know bad too, and it’s pretty hard, but hang in there.
Posted by: Amy
My best wishes, mucho ánimo,
Inés
Posted by: Inés
Putting yourself out there like that, with the book, is very, very hard. It’s so much of yourself – it really is like a birth. Just remember that when (if) the book gets rejected, they aren’t rejecting you, just the words on the page.
I’m sorry for your loss – and wish you the best of luck with the book.
Posted by: Cara
I know far too many children who have dealt with the suicide of a parent. Still haven’t been to a non-suicide funeral. What can you do but be there for support? Not much.
Posted by: Lauren
Thanks for trusting us all and putting your thoughts and a tough subject out here. Truth is, suicide happens in more families than anyone lets on. and lucky are the ones who get to know the whole Cari-enchilada…hang in there, chica.
I send you virtual hugs…
Posted by: caroline
Wow, that’s a lot of stuff all going on at once. But try not to compare your angst over your novel to suicide. Your angst is completely legit, and it deserves attention too, even if it’s not as devastating as suicide. And do go out tonight. It’ll help, at least for a little while.
My thoughts are with you…I know bad too, and it’s pretty hard, but hang in there.
Posted by: Amy
My best wishes, mucho ánimo,
Inés
Posted by: Inés
Putting yourself out there like that, with the book, is very, very hard. It’s so much of yourself – it really is like a birth. Just remember that when (if) the book gets rejected, they aren’t rejecting you, just the words on the page.
I’m sorry for your loss – and wish you the best of luck with the book.
Posted by: Cara
I know far too many children who have dealt with the suicide of a parent. Still haven’t been to a non-suicide funeral. What can you do but be there for support? Not much.
Posted by: Lauren
Thanks for trusting us all and putting your thoughts and a tough subject out here. Truth is, suicide happens in more families than anyone lets on. and lucky are the ones who get to know the whole Cari-enchilada…hang in there, chica.
I send you virtual hugs…
Posted by: caroline
I’m sorry to hear about Billy’s friend. It might not mean anything, but I’m going to put it out there. Thank you for sharing your story.
Posted by: Christie
I’m so sorry about Billy’s friend. She must have been pretty desperate to do something that will affect the lives of her friends and family forever.
YOU though, are brilliant, and I’m confident that of the people who love the book – one of them will be that important one.
Hang in there – see you when I return.
Posted by: jackie
More of you is better, even if its sad and angsty. But well-written.
Posted by: claudia
Wow. Sounds like you have so much you are mulling over right now. It will probably be great for you to get out tonight. I often find when I can “get out of my head” for awhile, it helps a lot. Does that make sense?
Best of luck to you with the book.
Posted by: Annie
I think that everything you are feeling is completely understandable. I’m so sorry about the friend’s suicide. Just horrible!
Posted by: Gina
Cari, Thank you for hitting publish because we all need to remember to be good to each other. One thing I always remember when I’m down is that with out the downs, I couldn’t truely enjoy the highs of light. Both are necessary to really live and live outloud.
I’m excited for your book and while I may even hate it, I am thrilled that you have had the dedication to write it and are taking the risk to publish it because think of all who will love it (I’m planning to be one of them) and will have their lives changed because of your words.
Posted by: Rebecca
Just loving you, hard. And a squeeze to Billy, too. Besos.
Posted by: Rachael
Selecting publish was probably the best thing you’ve done. You’ve given yourself a chance to express your feelings whether they are right, wrong, popular, hated, whatever. Give yourself time to deal with your feelings, its the best thing.
Hugs from your cyber buddy in Jersey.
Posted by: Liz
I’m sorry to hear about Billy’s friend. It might not mean anything, but I’m going to put it out there. Thank you for sharing your story.
Posted by: Christie
I’m so sorry about Billy’s friend. She must have been pretty desperate to do something that will affect the lives of her friends and family forever.
YOU though, are brilliant, and I’m confident that of the people who love the book – one of them will be that important one.
Hang in there – see you when I return.
Posted by: jackie
More of you is better, even if its sad and angsty. But well-written.
Posted by: claudia
Wow. Sounds like you have so much you are mulling over right now. It will probably be great for you to get out tonight. I often find when I can “get out of my head” for awhile, it helps a lot. Does that make sense?
Best of luck to you with the book.
Posted by: Annie
I think that everything you are feeling is completely understandable. I’m so sorry about the friend’s suicide. Just horrible!
Posted by: Gina
Cari, Thank you for hitting publish because we all need to remember to be good to each other. One thing I always remember when I’m down is that with out the downs, I couldn’t truely enjoy the highs of light. Both are necessary to really live and live outloud.
I’m excited for your book and while I may even hate it, I am thrilled that you have had the dedication to write it and are taking the risk to publish it because think of all who will love it (I’m planning to be one of them) and will have their lives changed because of your words.
Posted by: Rebecca
Just loving you, hard. And a squeeze to Billy, too. Besos.
Posted by: Rachael
Selecting publish was probably the best thing you’ve done. You’ve given yourself a chance to express your feelings whether they are right, wrong, popular, hated, whatever. Give yourself time to deal with your feelings, its the best thing.
Hugs from your cyber buddy in Jersey.
Posted by: Liz
Sweetness, I just don’t know what to say. In some ways I think going to the HS show is the best thing you can do tonight, even though you don’t want to, it’ll be a release of some sort. But I know that feeling of anger and sadness (typo: sandness. Scratchy) and ridiculousness and helplessness all rolled into this awful -nessness. And as Rach said, just loving you hard right now.
Posted by: Em
hey cari, sending you a warm hug. all will be well. thinking of you and hope you enjoy the show tonight. xoxokaarin
Posted by: kaarin
What a powerful post. I’m so glad you decided to share with us. What a tragic thing to happen, and you definitely shouldn’t feel bad for feeling how you do. I’ve been in that place before (I always say that it’s a good thing I’m such a coward), but things always have gotten better for me. I have some great people in my life to help me through (and some good meds at one point). I’ll definitely be thinking of you and everyone else touched by this.
On a happier note, how exciting your book is almost done! I can’t wait to read it. You’ll still blog when you’re famous right? 🙂
Posted by: Vicki
Cari, I’m so sorry to hear about Billy’s friend. Thank you for letting your readers be there for you (I hope that comes across the way I mean it). xox
Posted by: Mandy
If things like suicide didn’t shake up your head and your heart and all your emotions, then you just wouldn’t be human. And you know, on one hand, it is selfish, completely unforgivably selfish, but on the other for some people it’s the ultimate act of self control and self empowerment. For some people, it’s the only way to ever get that – and I can’t imagine what the life that leads up to that must be like. You’re right, that is real hurt.
I hope you can find peace in the struggle to figure it all out.
And just so you know – I love your writing and I’ll be reading your book too when it comes out – can’t wait.
Posted by: Amanda
This month includes the anniversary of a suicide that changed my entire life. Until its hit you in a head-on collision, I don’t know that anyone knows what its like to go through it.
hugs.
Posted by: Cassie
Whoa…heavy stuff. I am so sorry to hear this. With all of the other ways a fragile human life can end, I find it impossible not to be angry when someone takes their life.
Sending you some more hugs…
Posted by: Cassie
Sweetness, I just don’t know what to say. In some ways I think going to the HS show is the best thing you can do tonight, even though you don’t want to, it’ll be a release of some sort. But I know that feeling of anger and sadness (typo: sandness. Scratchy) and ridiculousness and helplessness all rolled into this awful -nessness. And as Rach said, just loving you hard right now.
Posted by: Em
hey cari, sending you a warm hug. all will be well. thinking of you and hope you enjoy the show tonight. xoxokaarin
Posted by: kaarin
What a powerful post. I’m so glad you decided to share with us. What a tragic thing to happen, and you definitely shouldn’t feel bad for feeling how you do. I’ve been in that place before (I always say that it’s a good thing I’m such a coward), but things always have gotten better for me. I have some great people in my life to help me through (and some good meds at one point). I’ll definitely be thinking of you and everyone else touched by this.
On a happier note, how exciting your book is almost done! I can’t wait to read it. You’ll still blog when you’re famous right? 🙂
Posted by: Vicki
Cari, I’m so sorry to hear about Billy’s friend. Thank you for letting your readers be there for you (I hope that comes across the way I mean it). xox
Posted by: Mandy
If things like suicide didn’t shake up your head and your heart and all your emotions, then you just wouldn’t be human. And you know, on one hand, it is selfish, completely unforgivably selfish, but on the other for some people it’s the ultimate act of self control and self empowerment. For some people, it’s the only way to ever get that – and I can’t imagine what the life that leads up to that must be like. You’re right, that is real hurt.
I hope you can find peace in the struggle to figure it all out.
And just so you know – I love your writing and I’ll be reading your book too when it comes out – can’t wait.
Posted by: Amanda
This month includes the anniversary of a suicide that changed my entire life. Until its hit you in a head-on collision, I don’t know that anyone knows what its like to go through it.
hugs.
Posted by: Cassie
Whoa…heavy stuff. I am so sorry to hear this. With all of the other ways a fragile human life can end, I find it impossible not to be angry when someone takes their life.
Sending you some more hugs…
Posted by: Cassie
XOXOXOX
Posted by: alison
Hi Cari, We have recently had a bereavement in the family, not suicide but that awful disease Cancer. Losing someone is always hard and sometimes it is the ones you didn’t know very well that hit you the hardest, I can’t explain why. Good luck with the book and keep believing in yourself
Posted by: Janine
I understand those feeling and respect them all. And am glad that you turst us, even those of us who are more quiet than others.
Posted by: stinkerbell
Hang in there, Cari. I understand the anger. The son/mother suicide thing is near and dear to my heart and the pain it causes lasts a lifetime. Thanks for this wonderful post. I’m glad you hit the “publish” button. I feel for the son and will add him to my thoughts and prayers.
Posted by: Jennifer
Oh gosh. I’m so sorry about Billy’s friend. Suicide is really hard to get one’s brain around. Whenever its happened anywhere near me, I can’t help but be effected by it.
Anyway, you have to admit that stage fright feeling is also highly exhilirating.
And one can only hope to offend a few people with one’s art! That’s what I think.
(((big big hugs!)))
Posted by: Amy
We all have things we usually keep on the inside. Not wanting to burden others, or just wanting to keep them to ourselves. Writing a book is like giving birth, you’ve put so much of yourself in, it’s easy to be scared. You’re going to be fine though. As for the loss, that’s something else. To hear she left a son behind is heartbreaking.
I think most of us keep the real drama on the inside, but when you need it, we’re all here to listen too.
*hug*
Posted by: Amber
I’m glad you hit “publish” also. I share ALL your sentiments – not surprising, I guess, since we seem to always be on the same wavelength. I could say a lot more, but it’s probably not necessary. I just send my love and add my agreement that these are the things, if no other good can be seen from them, that make us acutely aware of our blessings.
Posted by: Norma
Although it’s important to keep some stuff personal, I think it’s also good to acknowledge things in the blogosphere like Billy’s friend’s suicide. Often people blog about the best things that are happening and leave out the bad stuff, even retreating when things get tough. That’s a valid choice, of course. But I think sometimes it creates this situation where when we are down and we look at blogs it seems that everyone else has a perfect life and we’re just alone in our misery. When something like this suicide happens in our personal sphere, it can really be helpful to talk about the thoughts and feelings it brings up in a blog context. Not just for the person who’s going through it, but also for people who are reading and can process some of their own thoughts on the subject.
This reminds me of something that happened to me almost a year ago (you may have seen me post about it on the old blog). I had a blog-friend that I cared about a lot. He used to stop posting for short periods sometimes, and then he would come back. One time he didn’t. All those times he wasn’t posting, he was depressed. And he ended up taking his own life. I had no idea that he was having such a difficult time. Maybe I didn’t have a right to–it was, of course, his choice to let me and the rest of the blog community know as much or as little about his life as he pleased. But (as often happens, I suppose) I wish I had known what was going on and been able to offer some sort of help or support. I always thought he was this really together, self-possessed person. After his death I thought a lot about putting out a more whole, balanced picture of myself in the blogosphere. That doesn’t mean I think people who blog should always discuss absolutely everything. But I think it enriches everyone’s experiences when we share different sides of ourselves, including sad, angry, or confused ones.
Posted by: susan
XOXOXOX
Posted by: alison
Hi Cari, We have recently had a bereavement in the family, not suicide but that awful disease Cancer. Losing someone is always hard and sometimes it is the ones you didn’t know very well that hit you the hardest, I can’t explain why. Good luck with the book and keep believing in yourself
Posted by: Janine
I understand those feeling and respect them all. And am glad that you turst us, even those of us who are more quiet than others.
Posted by: stinkerbell
Hang in there, Cari. I understand the anger. The son/mother suicide thing is near and dear to my heart and the pain it causes lasts a lifetime. Thanks for this wonderful post. I’m glad you hit the “publish” button. I feel for the son and will add him to my thoughts and prayers.
Posted by: Jennifer
Oh gosh. I’m so sorry about Billy’s friend. Suicide is really hard to get one’s brain around. Whenever its happened anywhere near me, I can’t help but be effected by it.
Anyway, you have to admit that stage fright feeling is also highly exhilirating.
And one can only hope to offend a few people with one’s art! That’s what I think.
(((big big hugs!)))
Posted by: Amy
We all have things we usually keep on the inside. Not wanting to burden others, or just wanting to keep them to ourselves. Writing a book is like giving birth, you’ve put so much of yourself in, it’s easy to be scared. You’re going to be fine though. As for the loss, that’s something else. To hear she left a son behind is heartbreaking.
I think most of us keep the real drama on the inside, but when you need it, we’re all here to listen too.
*hug*
Posted by: Amber
I’m glad you hit “publish” also. I share ALL your sentiments – not surprising, I guess, since we seem to always be on the same wavelength. I could say a lot more, but it’s probably not necessary. I just send my love and add my agreement that these are the things, if no other good can be seen from them, that make us acutely aware of our blessings.
Posted by: Norma
Although it’s important to keep some stuff personal, I think it’s also good to acknowledge things in the blogosphere like Billy’s friend’s suicide. Often people blog about the best things that are happening and leave out the bad stuff, even retreating when things get tough. That’s a valid choice, of course. But I think sometimes it creates this situation where when we are down and we look at blogs it seems that everyone else has a perfect life and we’re just alone in our misery. When something like this suicide happens in our personal sphere, it can really be helpful to talk about the thoughts and feelings it brings up in a blog context. Not just for the person who’s going through it, but also for people who are reading and can process some of their own thoughts on the subject.
This reminds me of something that happened to me almost a year ago (you may have seen me post about it on the old blog). I had a blog-friend that I cared about a lot. He used to stop posting for short periods sometimes, and then he would come back. One time he didn’t. All those times he wasn’t posting, he was depressed. And he ended up taking his own life. I had no idea that he was having such a difficult time. Maybe I didn’t have a right to–it was, of course, his choice to let me and the rest of the blog community know as much or as little about his life as he pleased. But (as often happens, I suppose) I wish I had known what was going on and been able to offer some sort of help or support. I always thought he was this really together, self-possessed person. After his death I thought a lot about putting out a more whole, balanced picture of myself in the blogosphere. That doesn’t mean I think people who blog should always discuss absolutely everything. But I think it enriches everyone’s experiences when we share different sides of ourselves, including sad, angry, or confused ones.
Posted by: susan
This is my first post here. I read your entry this morning, and totally understand where you are coming from. My uncle took his life about 10 years ago, and it was very traumatic for our whole family. It still isn’t clear why he chose to go that way, and there is still some anger to this day about it. People do move on, but it is an event that is life altering for those left behind to deal with the loss.
And blogs are for venting – even knitting blogs 🙂
Posted by: Jean
Suicide is complicated and confusing and just so, so sad. I’m sorry for your loss, both of you.
If you want I’ll give you permission to blow off some of the social obligations! Take your doggies to the park instead, and remember how incredibly brave it is to put a book out into the world, even if you don’t feel that brave right at the moment.
Posted by: sarah g.
cari – what a brave post. take care of yourself and billy, ok? just be present and take life in. hugs – melissa
Posted by: melissa j
Oh, Cari, I just read this as I just got back into town. I’m so terribly sorry for you and Billy and this woman’s family and friends. Suicide is so unspeakably awful and confusing and infuriating and unfathomably sad. Posting this was a brave and generous act, so thank you. And yes, you’re right: we should all make an effort to be good to one another. big hugs to you. xxx regina
Posted by: regina
Hi Cari,
When I was going through the second of my three custody battles that my ex threw at me, one of my brothers gave me that shit about “oh, this will all make you stronger”. FUCK YOU, brother, I’m already REBAR, how could THIS benefit me! (okay, done with rant) but what I’m trying to say is one thing that helped me out when I was feeling angsty (as you say) is to concentrate on ONE good thing at a time. The new nephew? Your book out in public, while scary, is something we all bow down to you about. Me in particular! Hang in there and experience your feelings. I hope that helps a little.
Posted by: LeAnne
thank you for the post. sending you and yours that poor woman and her family everything good i can think of, in a “ring of endless light”…
Posted by: mrspilkington
So many of us have been affected by suicide. I’m glad you posted about it. I think for children, especially, there are feelings of shame tied to the suicide of a parent, because it is something that you don’t talk about, not even with your family. And it’s so natural to imagine that if you had done something differently, you could have stopped that person, could have saved him or her. You can play that day over and over in your head for years. And it’s ridiculous, because you were helpless.
Seeing how many other people have been affected by it makes everyone feel less alone, I think, and makes healing a little easier, and forgiveness possible. So I think it’s important to talk about these things more.
I don’t think it’s selfishness. It’s unimaginable pain. And short-sightedness, maybe. And often a real illness. Personally, it’s taken me a long time to accept that mental illness isn’t something that can be healed with stoicism or even love.
I know there are millions of stories; I’m just talking about a few that have touched me too closely.
Posted by: Frith
I am glad you hit ‘publish’.
Posted by: Juliette
This is my first post here. I read your entry this morning, and totally understand where you are coming from. My uncle took his life about 10 years ago, and it was very traumatic for our whole family. It still isn’t clear why he chose to go that way, and there is still some anger to this day about it. People do move on, but it is an event that is life altering for those left behind to deal with the loss.
And blogs are for venting – even knitting blogs 🙂
Posted by: Jean
Suicide is complicated and confusing and just so, so sad. I’m sorry for your loss, both of you.
If you want I’ll give you permission to blow off some of the social obligations! Take your doggies to the park instead, and remember how incredibly brave it is to put a book out into the world, even if you don’t feel that brave right at the moment.
Posted by: sarah g.
cari – what a brave post. take care of yourself and billy, ok? just be present and take life in. hugs – melissa
Posted by: melissa j
Oh, Cari, I just read this as I just got back into town. I’m so terribly sorry for you and Billy and this woman’s family and friends. Suicide is so unspeakably awful and confusing and infuriating and unfathomably sad. Posting this was a brave and generous act, so thank you. And yes, you’re right: we should all make an effort to be good to one another. big hugs to you. xxx regina
Posted by: regina
Hi Cari,
When I was going through the second of my three custody battles that my ex threw at me, one of my brothers gave me that shit about “oh, this will all make you stronger”. FUCK YOU, brother, I’m already REBAR, how could THIS benefit me! (okay, done with rant) but what I’m trying to say is one thing that helped me out when I was feeling angsty (as you say) is to concentrate on ONE good thing at a time. The new nephew? Your book out in public, while scary, is something we all bow down to you about. Me in particular! Hang in there and experience your feelings. I hope that helps a little.
Posted by: LeAnne
thank you for the post. sending you and yours that poor woman and her family everything good i can think of, in a “ring of endless light”…
Posted by: mrspilkington
So many of us have been affected by suicide. I’m glad you posted about it. I think for children, especially, there are feelings of shame tied to the suicide of a parent, because it is something that you don’t talk about, not even with your family. And it’s so natural to imagine that if you had done something differently, you could have stopped that person, could have saved him or her. You can play that day over and over in your head for years. And it’s ridiculous, because you were helpless.
Seeing how many other people have been affected by it makes everyone feel less alone, I think, and makes healing a little easier, and forgiveness possible. So I think it’s important to talk about these things more.
I don’t think it’s selfishness. It’s unimaginable pain. And short-sightedness, maybe. And often a real illness. Personally, it’s taken me a long time to accept that mental illness isn’t something that can be healed with stoicism or even love.
I know there are millions of stories; I’m just talking about a few that have touched me too closely.
Posted by: Frith
I am glad you hit ‘publish’.
Posted by: Juliette
Thankyou for choosing to hit publish and share.
Posted by: Carol
My b-i-l committed suicide about 5 years ago. For nearly a year I felt physical pain from his loss. While we were all mature enough to understand it was his choice, it was the shocking realization that none of us really knew him and the mask he wore was nothing like the real person. My heart breaks for the child left behind.
Posted by: margene
Cari,
Sending big hugs your way. So sorry to hear the news. It’s always tough to lose a parent but much tougher when you can’t understand why they woudl harm themselves I think. I have lost a brother to suicide and it is tough to understand. I think the most important thing is to be there for this child in any way you can.
On the positive side of things it is fantastic you have your new book coming out! It’s normal to feel what you are and it shows your are human and not some ego maniac in my opinion because you are nervous. I’ll be looking for the book as soon as it comes out and tell everyone I know to read it. 😉
Posted by: Lee Anne
Thankyou for choosing to hit publish and share.
Posted by: Carol
My b-i-l committed suicide about 5 years ago. For nearly a year I felt physical pain from his loss. While we were all mature enough to understand it was his choice, it was the shocking realization that none of us really knew him and the mask he wore was nothing like the real person. My heart breaks for the child left behind.
Posted by: margene
Cari,
Sending big hugs your way. So sorry to hear the news. It’s always tough to lose a parent but much tougher when you can’t understand why they woudl harm themselves I think. I have lost a brother to suicide and it is tough to understand. I think the most important thing is to be there for this child in any way you can.
On the positive side of things it is fantastic you have your new book coming out! It’s normal to feel what you are and it shows your are human and not some ego maniac in my opinion because you are nervous. I’ll be looking for the book as soon as it comes out and tell everyone I know to read it. 😉
Posted by: Lee Anne