Sometimes the cat’s just not that cute
Exhibit A
Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for having to share such carnage. What you are looking at is a partially eaten Crystal Palace 2mm bamboo dpn. It formerly belonged to a set of five needles. The remaining four are distraught. The five were hard at work supporting the stitches of the Eleanora sock, when the victim was cruelly ripped from the yarn and brutally murdered by one Oscar Madison, age 8 mos, of Brooklyn, New York. Forensics indicate that the needle was tortured before being killed.
The needle’s employer, Cari, also of Brooklyn, has remarked that though the loss is indeed quite tragic, work must continue. Late this morning, the sock construction project resumed with a rather fiddly set of Pony Pearls. “It’s a shame,” Cari says. “The Pony Pearls are seven-inchers. They’re just too long. I really wish I still had those six-inch bamboos to get the job done. I have no idea how the cat got access to the work site.” She plans to reassign the remaining four bamboo needles to jobs calling for a smaller grouping, once they’ve been allowed sufficient time to grieve, as allowed by the Needle Loss Family Leave Act of 2003.
No word yet on when Oscar Madison will be formally charged. He was last seen in the vicinity of the upstairs bathroom, where he’s suspected of the kidnapping, torture, and murder of a roll of toilet paper. We’ll have more on that story as it develops.
In happier news, please take a look at what Laura’s done for knitters and dogs. That’s the Dogs Steal Yarn colorway pictured in my previous post, then referred to as mystery yarn.
Cat-on-bamboo violence is a serious problem in our knitting community, reaching epidemic proportions in some households. As someone who has been personally affected, I thank you for bringing this issue to the public’s attention.
Posted by: anne
I love your blog, I found it a few days ago on the knitblog webring and the first couple entries were so funny, I ended up reading some of your archives. Oscar reminds me of the rescue kitty my brother adopted, Lola, She’s full of trouble and has been known to steal yarn, needles, and notions and hide them all over the house. Even though she steals stuff, she is still so cute. Enough so that I am adopting my own rescue kitty next month. I’ve enjoyed reading your adventures, and will be back to visit.
Posted by: Natalie
I searched your archives to show my husband a before and after shot of Oscar. Even I was amazed at the difference. I’d forgotten how pathetic he was when you first got him.
He’s lucky he’s around to bust up DPNs and toilet paper.
Posted by: LaurieM
Wow, your own colorway! How flattering. And a great idea to donate some of the proceeds.
Posted by: Vicki
Cat-on-bamboo violence is a serious problem in our knitting community, reaching epidemic proportions in some households. As someone who has been personally affected, I thank you for bringing this issue to the public’s attention.
Posted by: anne
I love your blog, I found it a few days ago on the knitblog webring and the first couple entries were so funny, I ended up reading some of your archives. Oscar reminds me of the rescue kitty my brother adopted, Lola, She’s full of trouble and has been known to steal yarn, needles, and notions and hide them all over the house. Even though she steals stuff, she is still so cute. Enough so that I am adopting my own rescue kitty next month. I’ve enjoyed reading your adventures, and will be back to visit.
Posted by: Natalie
I searched your archives to show my husband a before and after shot of Oscar. Even I was amazed at the difference. I’d forgotten how pathetic he was when you first got him.
He’s lucky he’s around to bust up DPNs and toilet paper.
Posted by: LaurieM
Wow, your own colorway! How flattering. And a great idea to donate some of the proceeds.
Posted by: Vicki
I think the problem is spreading to the canine community as well. My household recently suffered the loss of a wooden cable needle. I have two suspects but so far insufficent evidence to prosecute.
Posted by: stephanie
This is possibly the only time I’m glad my kid’s asthma now prevents me from having a cat. But it doesn’t last.
Sniff. Oscar, I’ll visit you in kitty prison. I hear they have good treats. My seven-year-old sympathises with your fate, having also been accused of doublepointicide throughout her illustrious career of knitting crime.
Posted by: Lee Ann
My orange naughty kitties were thanks to Mighty Mutts–I didn’t adopt from them directly, but they put me in touch with the owners. Whenever I’m at a loss for a Christmas present for my Mom, she tells me to make a donation in her name to MM. I couldn’t do the work they do, but I’m really glad someone does.
Posted by: Anne
I’ve only encountered one enemy more dangerous than a curious cat — and that’s a curious four-year-old who convinces you to leave them alone while you go get them a drink.
These perps are devious, let me tell you!
Posted by: Bee
Shameful. Simple shameful. I bet that cat will get off on a technicality…like insanity due to capnip addiction.
Posted by: Christie
See? This is why I don’t like the news–it’s just so full of tragedy! That poor DPN!! (sniffle)
Posted by: –Deb
Please give Oscar my card.
Posted by: claudia
Clearly named for the wrong Oscar.
Posted by: Em
Dude….I have a cat who has a taste for the cables of Addi Turbos!!! There has been great distress.
Posted by: Anna
A moment of silence for the victim…
Posted by: emily
A moment of silence for the victim…
Posted by: emily
I think the problem is spreading to the canine community as well. My household recently suffered the loss of a wooden cable needle. I have two suspects but so far insufficent evidence to prosecute.
Posted by: stephanie
This is possibly the only time I’m glad my kid’s asthma now prevents me from having a cat. But it doesn’t last.
Sniff. Oscar, I’ll visit you in kitty prison. I hear they have good treats. My seven-year-old sympathises with your fate, having also been accused of doublepointicide throughout her illustrious career of knitting crime.
Posted by: Lee Ann
My orange naughty kitties were thanks to Mighty Mutts–I didn’t adopt from them directly, but they put me in touch with the owners. Whenever I’m at a loss for a Christmas present for my Mom, she tells me to make a donation in her name to MM. I couldn’t do the work they do, but I’m really glad someone does.
Posted by: Anne
I’ve only encountered one enemy more dangerous than a curious cat — and that’s a curious four-year-old who convinces you to leave them alone while you go get them a drink.
These perps are devious, let me tell you!
Posted by: Bee
Shameful. Simple shameful. I bet that cat will get off on a technicality…like insanity due to capnip addiction.
Posted by: Christie
See? This is why I don’t like the news–it’s just so full of tragedy! That poor DPN!! (sniffle)
Posted by: –Deb
Please give Oscar my card.
Posted by: claudia
Clearly named for the wrong Oscar.
Posted by: Em
Dude….I have a cat who has a taste for the cables of Addi Turbos!!! There has been great distress.
Posted by: Anna
A moment of silence for the victim…
Posted by: emily
A moment of silence for the victim…
Posted by: emily
Please do give Oscar, Claudia’s card. I do believe that Oscar is being unfairly charged. The needles employer is to blame. She left the said needle in a location where it was unprotected and vulnerable to attack. And if my memory serves me correctly, there are two other possbile suspects in the household. And both of these suspects are canines who are well known archenemies of the feline species. Who is to say that the canines did not commit the crime and plant the evidence pointing the the poor feline?
Posted by: Mia
Today the DPN tomorrow the world!
Or at least your cellphone. I have gone through 3 rechargers as my (4!) cats chew through the cord and then drag the phone at hyper peeds through the house. I tried to scold them but I was laughing too hard…the first time anyways. Now if you’ll excuse me I am off to the AT kiosk.
Posted by: Jinxsa
SAVE YOURSELVES!!! Run to the humane society and save another teenage cat to distract Oscar. It is your only hope. Your yarn is in imminent danger, nothing is safe and you cannot hide. I will volunteer as an expert witness for the trial…Oscar suffers from EBA.(excessive brain activity) the energy must be released physically with devastating results unless properly channelled. Hope he gets help and a fair trial.
Posted by: Lyn
To my cat, my plastic DPNs are far more enticing than the bamboo ones. Watch out for little plastic needls, as they seem to resemble little kitty snacks!
Posted by: Chialea
Oh, it’s happened now already. Cat teeth make even more significant cuts in Brittany birches. I bet the sock with little dpns looked like the most fun and funkiest cat toy to Oscar! 🙂
Posted by: K
They must coat those needles with something that attracts pets. My dog, who does not fetch and who is afraid of sqeaky toys, bit and snapped a brand new Brittany Birch DP!
Posted by: Cyndy
When animals attack… coming to a brownstone near you.
Posted by: Martha
You do realize that the other day, when he was so intently cleaning those pretty paws, he was plotting this senseless attack? His disinterest in the sock yarn is more than just a coincidence. How many kittens that age leave sock yarn alone? He was putting you off your guard, luring you into the belief that he had no interest whatsoever in your knitting….
Banishment from the knitting room is too good for him! How about no tuna for a week?
(scritch Oscar behind the ears for me, okay?)
LOLOLOL!
Thank you for a WONDERFUL chuckle this morning, I needed it!
(((hugs)))
Posted by: knitnana
Oh nooooo! Just what KnitNana said – Oscar was looking *so sweet and innocent* the other day!! Poor brittney needles. Seems like that would hurt though – I wouldn’t want to bite one of those!
Posted by: Laura
Well, I’m not completely surprised. I thought it likely that Oscar would get in on the knitting thing after that photo shoot the other day. Cats either want revenge for not being the focus of the picture or they want to knit too.
But judging from your post it was premeditated, not knitting-slaughter. Just so long as he doesn’t resort to needle-napping and extortion. You know, treats for “protection.”
Posted by: Laurie
AAAA! I feel your pain! It was not my pet, but some evil invisible gnome or something who snuck into my knitting bag.
I had to pull birch splinters out of my sock before I could even try picking up the dropped stitches.
Posted by: Lauren
Please do give Oscar, Claudia’s card. I do believe that Oscar is being unfairly charged. The needles employer is to blame. She left the said needle in a location where it was unprotected and vulnerable to attack. And if my memory serves me correctly, there are two other possbile suspects in the household. And both of these suspects are canines who are well known archenemies of the feline species. Who is to say that the canines did not commit the crime and plant the evidence pointing the the poor feline?
Posted by: Mia
Today the DPN tomorrow the world!
Or at least your cellphone. I have gone through 3 rechargers as my (4!) cats chew through the cord and then drag the phone at hyper peeds through the house. I tried to scold them but I was laughing too hard…the first time anyways. Now if you’ll excuse me I am off to the AT kiosk.
Posted by: Jinxsa
SAVE YOURSELVES!!! Run to the humane society and save another teenage cat to distract Oscar. It is your only hope. Your yarn is in imminent danger, nothing is safe and you cannot hide. I will volunteer as an expert witness for the trial…Oscar suffers from EBA.(excessive brain activity) the energy must be released physically with devastating results unless properly channelled. Hope he gets help and a fair trial.
Posted by: Lyn
To my cat, my plastic DPNs are far more enticing than the bamboo ones. Watch out for little plastic needls, as they seem to resemble little kitty snacks!
Posted by: Chialea
Oh, it’s happened now already. Cat teeth make even more significant cuts in Brittany birches. I bet the sock with little dpns looked like the most fun and funkiest cat toy to Oscar! 🙂
Posted by: K
They must coat those needles with something that attracts pets. My dog, who does not fetch and who is afraid of sqeaky toys, bit and snapped a brand new Brittany Birch DP!
Posted by: Cyndy
When animals attack… coming to a brownstone near you.
Posted by: Martha
You do realize that the other day, when he was so intently cleaning those pretty paws, he was plotting this senseless attack? His disinterest in the sock yarn is more than just a coincidence. How many kittens that age leave sock yarn alone? He was putting you off your guard, luring you into the belief that he had no interest whatsoever in your knitting….
Banishment from the knitting room is too good for him! How about no tuna for a week?
(scritch Oscar behind the ears for me, okay?)
LOLOLOL!
Thank you for a WONDERFUL chuckle this morning, I needed it!
(((hugs)))
Posted by: knitnana
Oh nooooo! Just what KnitNana said – Oscar was looking *so sweet and innocent* the other day!! Poor brittney needles. Seems like that would hurt though – I wouldn’t want to bite one of those!
Posted by: Laura
Well, I’m not completely surprised. I thought it likely that Oscar would get in on the knitting thing after that photo shoot the other day. Cats either want revenge for not being the focus of the picture or they want to knit too.
But judging from your post it was premeditated, not knitting-slaughter. Just so long as he doesn’t resort to needle-napping and extortion. You know, treats for “protection.”
Posted by: Laurie
AAAA! I feel your pain! It was not my pet, but some evil invisible gnome or something who snuck into my knitting bag.
I had to pull birch splinters out of my sock before I could even try picking up the dropped stitches.
Posted by: Lauren
yet another casulty in the world of cats vs. knitters. I’m so sorry – please give my condolences to the remaining needles.
(I used to pride myself on never having this problem because I only use four needles for socks and thus one needle lost (sacraficed?) to the cause wasn’t a big deal… but a set of cats that I sat on (not that long ago) thought it was great fun to leave teeth marks in my inox needles. Nothing says snag like wool yarn catching on a deep seated “the cat was here” mark. I never caught them in the act, but they had no mercy and went after the same set over and over again. (dpn’s have 2! (two!) sides to chew on!!))
good luck with the leg warmers – they sound like an excellent solution.
Posted by: Kristen
yet another casulty in the world of cats vs. knitters. I’m so sorry – please give my condolences to the remaining needles.
(I used to pride myself on never having this problem because I only use four needles for socks and thus one needle lost (sacraficed?) to the cause wasn’t a big deal… but a set of cats that I sat on (not that long ago) thought it was great fun to leave teeth marks in my inox needles. Nothing says snag like wool yarn catching on a deep seated “the cat was here” mark. I never caught them in the act, but they had no mercy and went after the same set over and over again. (dpn’s have 2! (two!) sides to chew on!!))
good luck with the leg warmers – they sound like an excellent solution.
Posted by: Kristen