I woke up this morning in a puddle of breast milk. And then the baby projectile vomited on me. I had no idea motherhood would be so glamorous.
I woke up this morning in a puddle of breast milk. And then the baby projectile vomited on me. I had no idea motherhood would be so glamorous.
Wow. I had no idea I get to look forward to so much! I’d better polish up my tiara.
Thumper is gorgeous, by the way. Well done.
Posted by: Susan
I was apparently excellent at projectile vomiting. But I slept through the night. My mom says it was a fair trade 😉
Posted by: Amber
Oh, yes, Thumper sounds like Abigail’s little brother. But it IS so glamorous! 🙂
Posted by: Norma
Ah yes. One of the great unrevealed truths about motherhood. How sticky it is. And how in the summer, everything around you smells suddenly like yogurty babypoo and they you realise that it is you, yourself who smell like yogurt and it’s because you are lactating and the little drips smell like… well, you get the idea.
Thumper is lovely. And frankly, I am superduper impressed that you are posting at all, and managing to string words together in coherent sentences. I think that took me four months.
Posted by: Francesca (Stuntmother)
I once walked around for an entire day with no idea that I had a foot long stream of spit-up running down my back under my right shoulder. Purdy.
Posted by: Nicole
Wow. I had no idea I get to look forward to so much! I’d better polish up my tiara.
Thumper is gorgeous, by the way. Well done.
Posted by: Susan
I was apparently excellent at projectile vomiting. But I slept through the night. My mom says it was a fair trade 😉
Posted by: Amber
Oh, yes, Thumper sounds like Abigail’s little brother. But it IS so glamorous! 🙂
Posted by: Norma
Ah yes. One of the great unrevealed truths about motherhood. How sticky it is. And how in the summer, everything around you smells suddenly like yogurty babypoo and they you realise that it is you, yourself who smell like yogurt and it’s because you are lactating and the little drips smell like… well, you get the idea.
Thumper is lovely. And frankly, I am superduper impressed that you are posting at all, and managing to string words together in coherent sentences. I think that took me four months.
Posted by: Francesca (Stuntmother)
I once walked around for an entire day with no idea that I had a foot long stream of spit-up running down my back under my right shoulder. Purdy.
Posted by: Nicole
Now there’s a Precious Moments figurine I would buy.
Posted by: Michelle
I would say I was laughing with you but really … no. No, I’m not. It’s because I am a small, small woman with a black stunted ash for a heart.
And also because, although my kid didn’t puke, I actually had to eventually landfill my mattress because of the eternal leaking boobage.
Posted by: Rabbitch
See, no one tells you about these things and when it happens, it shocks you. Cheb hurled on me Excorcist-style, soaking me (literally) from head to toe, and I called her ped in tears. Cheb sat there looking at me like, “what? what’s wrong? I feel fine.”
Posted by: Iris
I remember sitting down and bawling when Jackson was about 4 weeks old because I felt like I was never going to be completely dry again.
Posted by: kendall
Scarlet was all about the projectile vomiting before Prevacid. I had baby puke in my bra at least once a day for a few weeks. Gah.
Posted by: melanie
Before I was a mommmy, I had a weak stomach. Now I have no fear of poop, vomit, or blood. Thumper is so handsome. You are doing great and keeping a good sense of humor – then again what else would you do?
Posted by: Holly Jo
Ah yes, I remember it well…
Posted by: Rachel H
I don’t get to ‘enjoy’ the puddle of breastmilk – instead I wake up sweaty where my lil SweatMonkey sleeps. Not a lil bit sweaty. Soaking wet, change the shirt, “migawd kid, how can you stand it” sweaty. She’s plenty hydrated (PLENTY, judging by the wet diapers) so we aren’t worrying about her love of being hot and sweaty. At least she is enjoying the 2006 Scorcher.
Posted by: sophiagrrl
Now there’s a Precious Moments figurine I would buy.
Posted by: Michelle
I would say I was laughing with you but really … no. No, I’m not. It’s because I am a small, small woman with a black stunted ash for a heart.
And also because, although my kid didn’t puke, I actually had to eventually landfill my mattress because of the eternal leaking boobage.
Posted by: Rabbitch
See, no one tells you about these things and when it happens, it shocks you. Cheb hurled on me Excorcist-style, soaking me (literally) from head to toe, and I called her ped in tears. Cheb sat there looking at me like, “what? what’s wrong? I feel fine.”
Posted by: Iris
I remember sitting down and bawling when Jackson was about 4 weeks old because I felt like I was never going to be completely dry again.
Posted by: kendall
Scarlet was all about the projectile vomiting before Prevacid. I had baby puke in my bra at least once a day for a few weeks. Gah.
Posted by: melanie
Before I was a mommmy, I had a weak stomach. Now I have no fear of poop, vomit, or blood. Thumper is so handsome. You are doing great and keeping a good sense of humor – then again what else would you do?
Posted by: Holly Jo
Ah yes, I remember it well…
Posted by: Rachel H
I don’t get to ‘enjoy’ the puddle of breastmilk – instead I wake up sweaty where my lil SweatMonkey sleeps. Not a lil bit sweaty. Soaking wet, change the shirt, “migawd kid, how can you stand it” sweaty. She’s plenty hydrated (PLENTY, judging by the wet diapers) so we aren’t worrying about her love of being hot and sweaty. At least she is enjoying the 2006 Scorcher.
Posted by: sophiagrrl
wait until you’ve gone through a full day at work in a suit with spit up on the shoulder and smelling like pee from the last diaper change, and not even knowing it!
Posted by: rebecca
Cari – How are the dogs and cat doing with the new addition??
Posted by: Melissa
Now, that there is some reliable narration, lady.
A ton of love to you and family, and hang in with the smelly stuff. Although I’m thinking the tiara is really not such a bad idea….
Posted by: Lee Ann
Oh yes.
Posted by: Kathy
At least stale breast milk smells better than formula and it doesn’t stain coming back up the way formula does either. I wonder why no one lists these little bonuses amoung the many reasons why breast milk is better than formula!
Posted by: LaurieM
Thanks for the visual.
And, good luck with that. 🙂
Posted by: claudia
Yeah, we blessed our cleanable leather sofa regularly. 3 feet he did once! It’s stunning, isn’t it? They look so cute and benign . . .
Posted by: Patti
Nursing pads, dude. Nursing pads.
Posted by: valentina
wait until you’ve gone through a full day at work in a suit with spit up on the shoulder and smelling like pee from the last diaper change, and not even knowing it!
Posted by: rebecca
Cari – How are the dogs and cat doing with the new addition??
Posted by: Melissa
Now, that there is some reliable narration, lady.
A ton of love to you and family, and hang in with the smelly stuff. Although I’m thinking the tiara is really not such a bad idea….
Posted by: Lee Ann
Oh yes.
Posted by: Kathy
At least stale breast milk smells better than formula and it doesn’t stain coming back up the way formula does either. I wonder why no one lists these little bonuses amoung the many reasons why breast milk is better than formula!
Posted by: LaurieM
Thanks for the visual.
And, good luck with that. 🙂
Posted by: claudia
Yeah, we blessed our cleanable leather sofa regularly. 3 feet he did once! It’s stunning, isn’t it? They look so cute and benign . . .
Posted by: Patti
Nursing pads, dude. Nursing pads.
Posted by: valentina
See, if we knew this stuff beforehand, would we ever choose to procreate? Second the breast pad suggestion – especially the nice cottony kind that you can throw in the washer and reuse.(They also pucker less and are therefore less visibly obvious under your clothes. ) Also second the remark that you are doing great. Is the baby fed and clean and happy? Have you managed to get into the shower by 4 o’clock in the afternoon? That’s the definition of doing great. (Who’s walking the dogs?) And your Madonna and Child photo IS glamorous.
Posted by: Mary K. in Rockport
Do share! I need to learn these things if I am ever going to have a little one of my own.
Posted by: emily
Keep posting the harsh realities–in a couple of months, I’m going to have my own short person to deal with, so I’m learning from you!
Posted by: Cathy
You’re going to so love toilet training.
Posted by: Alison
I once leaked during a job interview. in fact, it was for my current job. thank goodness my boss is a father of two whose wife nursed her children.
Posted by: regina
These are the things we don’t tell you because we are secretly waiting for it to happen so we can giggle inside our heads while commiserating out loud.
Posted by: Donna in Virginia
In a wonderful novel, Down the Common, the medieval ordinary peasent woman protagonist, notes how lovely it is to be dry, no blood running down her thighs, no breast milk leaking, no kid-piddle on her clothes , and thinks how few dry days there are in a woman’s life. For several weeks we used it as a greeting — “How ya doin’ — dry?”
Posted by: rams
oh goodie, we’re twins!
Posted by: Karma
See, if we knew this stuff beforehand, would we ever choose to procreate? Second the breast pad suggestion – especially the nice cottony kind that you can throw in the washer and reuse.(They also pucker less and are therefore less visibly obvious under your clothes. ) Also second the remark that you are doing great. Is the baby fed and clean and happy? Have you managed to get into the shower by 4 o’clock in the afternoon? That’s the definition of doing great. (Who’s walking the dogs?) And your Madonna and Child photo IS glamorous.
Posted by: Mary K. in Rockport
Do share! I need to learn these things if I am ever going to have a little one of my own.
Posted by: emily
Keep posting the harsh realities–in a couple of months, I’m going to have my own short person to deal with, so I’m learning from you!
Posted by: Cathy
You’re going to so love toilet training.
Posted by: Alison
I once leaked during a job interview. in fact, it was for my current job. thank goodness my boss is a father of two whose wife nursed her children.
Posted by: regina
These are the things we don’t tell you because we are secretly waiting for it to happen so we can giggle inside our heads while commiserating out loud.
Posted by: Donna in Virginia
In a wonderful novel, Down the Common, the medieval ordinary peasent woman protagonist, notes how lovely it is to be dry, no blood running down her thighs, no breast milk leaking, no kid-piddle on her clothes , and thinks how few dry days there are in a woman’s life. For several weeks we used it as a greeting — “How ya doin’ — dry?”
Posted by: rams
oh goodie, we’re twins!
Posted by: Karma
Oh I hear you. I just love the 3am episode where there’s poo coming out one end and vomit out the other. All after you’ve just taken the nappy off!
Posted by: ginchy
I’ve never really believed in all those pastel-colored idyllic stories about motherhood. THANK YOU! for giving us the reality version, I now consider myself a well-educated person (and in the future, maybe a educated mother as well. Maybe).
Posted by: roro
Motherhood is definitely messy and (hate to tell you) it gets worse. However, there are really, really big rewards.
Posted by: Diane
i love thumper! so sweet. I had the joy of breast milk that would run down my legs to my toes. It never flowed the way it should.
Posted by: marlo
Yes, all that and more. The toddler who, discovering that the item she just put in her mouth is not actually edible wants to give it to you (sometimes this is actually food, and sometimes it comes back after being chewed. And you can’t do anything but accept it into your no-longer-squeamish hand to be discarded asap. Very glamorous.
Posted by: janet
The leaking gets better. Congrats on breastfeeding! It gets better, really, it does!
My daughter is 2 and still nurses. Never thought I would be the woman on the block nursing a toddler on the lawn, but I don’t mind a bit. Bonus with TMI: I didn’t get my period back until last month.
If you ever want any helpful hints, feel free to send me an email. In my next life, I’ll be a lactation consultant. My husband wants in on that deal … he would get paid to look at and touch boobies!
Posted by: Towanda, Amazonian Jungle Temptress
Oh I hear you. I just love the 3am episode where there’s poo coming out one end and vomit out the other. All after you’ve just taken the nappy off!
Posted by: ginchy
I’ve never really believed in all those pastel-colored idyllic stories about motherhood. THANK YOU! for giving us the reality version, I now consider myself a well-educated person (and in the future, maybe a educated mother as well. Maybe).
Posted by: roro
Motherhood is definitely messy and (hate to tell you) it gets worse. However, there are really, really big rewards.
Posted by: Diane
i love thumper! so sweet. I had the joy of breast milk that would run down my legs to my toes. It never flowed the way it should.
Posted by: marlo
Yes, all that and more. The toddler who, discovering that the item she just put in her mouth is not actually edible wants to give it to you (sometimes this is actually food, and sometimes it comes back after being chewed. And you can’t do anything but accept it into your no-longer-squeamish hand to be discarded asap. Very glamorous.
Posted by: janet
The leaking gets better. Congrats on breastfeeding! It gets better, really, it does!
My daughter is 2 and still nurses. Never thought I would be the woman on the block nursing a toddler on the lawn, but I don’t mind a bit. Bonus with TMI: I didn’t get my period back until last month.
If you ever want any helpful hints, feel free to send me an email. In my next life, I’ll be a lactation consultant. My husband wants in on that deal … he would get paid to look at and touch boobies!
Posted by: Towanda, Amazonian Jungle Temptress