My agent wants one relatively small revision to the latest draft of the novel before it goes back out into the world in search of a loving publisher. ItÂ’s a change to the penultimate scene, so IÂ’m reading through the entire manuscript leading up to that point to make sure I go into the revision with the momentum of the story behind me.
IÂ’ve read this book IdonÂ’tknowhowmanytimes already over the course of the four years since I began it, and two years since finishing the first draft. Each time I read it from beginning to end is a little different; each time IÂ’m that much farther from the person I was when I started, and the story I had initially thought I was writing. ItÂ’s amazing, how a book changes as you write it. This, what will be the eighth draft, bears only a passing resemblance to the book I thought I was going to write. The main character has the same name and history, but she isnÂ’t who IÂ’d originally thought she was. Other characters have changed, been fleshed out, or been deleted entirely (a whole life lifted right out of the story and gone! His name was Pete, and I found I didnÂ’t need him in the book. I wonder what he would have ended up doing if IÂ’d kept him inÂ…)
I don’t write with an outline. I freewrite first drafts as well as any large chunks that need to be added in revision, because my writing is strongest and truest when I’m not thinking. Writing blind like that, you just go where the story takes you. It can be scary, and time-consuming, and you do inevitably find yourself having taken a wrong turn, but it’s how I work best. The other night, as I was reading through the book while Billy and the baby slept I got a flash of that other book—the one I’d thought I was writing when I first began this one. I had just read through the scene where a major character is introduced and the main plot gets underway and I remembered the day that character had appeared in my freewrite, and how I hadn’t intended for him to be there at all and hadn’t intended the story to go in the direction he took it in, and now he’s a main character and the storyline that connects him to the protagonist is the central plot. When I read it now, it feels inevitable—like this is the only way the book could have gone and this is exactly how the story is—but really, it could have gone any number of different ways and some of them would have worked just as well. Maybe some of them would have worked better. Not that I’ll ever know—I’m happy with where the story is at now.
Thing is, this unplanned, unexpected storyline and character that took over the novel? It didnÂ’t change the major themes one bit. Fits right in. Tells the bigger story much better than the way IÂ’d thought I would tell it. Which just goes to show that my teacher Michael Cunningham was right when he told us that our books are much smarter than we are.
Cari, I am so delighted to read this post, for the very selfish reason that I have been struggling to get back into the game of writing a novel I started long ago, and part of what I have been unsure about is whether it’s okay to write it blind.
I always do that with short stories, but this is the first Bigger Thing I’ve really tried to get done, and I’d gotten to the point where I was a little stumped and then wondered whether I needed to be mapping it out instead of going my usual as-unconscious-as-possible way.
It’s very reassuring to read (from someone who has done so successfully) that it’s ok to let the Big Thing take you where it wants to go, even though it is Big. Thank you for sharing this.
Posted by: Lizbon
You know, I like to think of it like a good movie. You always see something you missed the first time around. Take it as a sign that its power to enthrall the viewer/reader is there and that’s a good thing. Keep rockin’, girl.
Posted by: john
I’m really glad you shared that. I am not now, nor will I ever be, a writer. I do like to think of myself as an intelligent reader though, and I like learning about how the books happen.
Posted by: Rachel H
I love this post … it’s so interesting to hear how you write.
Posted by: Carrie
Cari, I am so delighted to read this post, for the very selfish reason that I have been struggling to get back into the game of writing a novel I started long ago, and part of what I have been unsure about is whether it’s okay to write it blind.
I always do that with short stories, but this is the first Bigger Thing I’ve really tried to get done, and I’d gotten to the point where I was a little stumped and then wondered whether I needed to be mapping it out instead of going my usual as-unconscious-as-possible way.
It’s very reassuring to read (from someone who has done so successfully) that it’s ok to let the Big Thing take you where it wants to go, even though it is Big. Thank you for sharing this.
Posted by: Lizbon
You know, I like to think of it like a good movie. You always see something you missed the first time around. Take it as a sign that its power to enthrall the viewer/reader is there and that’s a good thing. Keep rockin’, girl.
Posted by: john
I’m really glad you shared that. I am not now, nor will I ever be, a writer. I do like to think of myself as an intelligent reader though, and I like learning about how the books happen.
Posted by: Rachel H
I love this post … it’s so interesting to hear how you write.
Posted by: Carrie
Are you ever so in love with a character or scene that no longer fits that you try to use it in a different story?
Posted by: JessZ
I like that this is how you write. It’s how I make art too, with a general idea of what’s going to happen conceptually and a sort of visual “feel” in mind, but no pre-planning. If I plan out in detail what I’m going to do, then the doing of it seems wooden, and I imagine that were I a writer I would write the same way.
I can’t help but feel a bit sad for poor Pete, though. Perhaps he will have his own story one day.
Posted by: jodi
I find the creative process endlessly fascinating. Thank you for this peek into how you write. I can’t wait to read your book!
Posted by: regina
Yes. Freewriting is so interesting – the moving hand hath writ… and having writ, the head loosely attached to the moving hand says, “Aroo?” I can rarely get out of my own way enough to do it, but the few times I have done it were interesting and I hope to get it back again at some point.
Congratulations on your fascinating journey.
Posted by: Jill Smith
I think this was the loveliest blog post I’ve ever read. You talked about your book but I what I heard was you talking about real life. It’s not the way you plan it, etc. etc. It touched me.
Posted by: Karen
Are you ever so in love with a character or scene that no longer fits that you try to use it in a different story?
Posted by: JessZ
I like that this is how you write. It’s how I make art too, with a general idea of what’s going to happen conceptually and a sort of visual “feel” in mind, but no pre-planning. If I plan out in detail what I’m going to do, then the doing of it seems wooden, and I imagine that were I a writer I would write the same way.
I can’t help but feel a bit sad for poor Pete, though. Perhaps he will have his own story one day.
Posted by: jodi
I find the creative process endlessly fascinating. Thank you for this peek into how you write. I can’t wait to read your book!
Posted by: regina
Yes. Freewriting is so interesting – the moving hand hath writ… and having writ, the head loosely attached to the moving hand says, “Aroo?” I can rarely get out of my own way enough to do it, but the few times I have done it were interesting and I hope to get it back again at some point.
Congratulations on your fascinating journey.
Posted by: Jill Smith
I think this was the loveliest blog post I’ve ever read. You talked about your book but I what I heard was you talking about real life. It’s not the way you plan it, etc. etc. It touched me.
Posted by: Karen
I wonder how that process would translate to knitting….freeknitting?
Minor revisions. YEAH!
Posted by: claudia
Writing blind is great — for one thing, it’s the only way I can get the critic in my head to shut up and let me work. Later, I let the critic back in, but if that voice is there from the beginning, I don’t get very far.
Posted by: Sarah
I like that idea, that the book is smarter than the author. (Your book must be wicked brilliant.)
Posted by: alison
Excellent news! I’m so glad for you.
Posted by: marrije
As said above, it is a brilliant post! I love reading how you work it all out, and how it falls together. I also have an enormous amount of admiration for your patience and for sticking with it. I hope you get the right publisher for it.
Posted by: idleberry
I have an idea for a novel, but I am petrified (literally) every time I start writing. I need to get over that. Thanks for writing about how you write 🙂
Posted by: Ash
I wonder how that process would translate to knitting….freeknitting?
Minor revisions. YEAH!
Posted by: claudia
Writing blind is great — for one thing, it’s the only way I can get the critic in my head to shut up and let me work. Later, I let the critic back in, but if that voice is there from the beginning, I don’t get very far.
Posted by: Sarah
I like that idea, that the book is smarter than the author. (Your book must be wicked brilliant.)
Posted by: alison
Excellent news! I’m so glad for you.
Posted by: marrije
As said above, it is a brilliant post! I love reading how you work it all out, and how it falls together. I also have an enormous amount of admiration for your patience and for sticking with it. I hope you get the right publisher for it.
Posted by: idleberry
I have an idea for a novel, but I am petrified (literally) every time I start writing. I need to get over that. Thanks for writing about how you write 🙂
Posted by: Ash
Alison beat me to it–your novel should start plotting world domination. I like that I don’t read any tired resignation in this post, which I would have had were I facing my eighth draft of anything. I have a good feeling about this one.
Posted by: Michelle
Sounds a little like Eugenides telling about how in the ten years it took to write Middlesex his own father died and he became a father and how that changed things — the early parts of the draft felt soft and he’d gotten stronger, so much of the time was just bringing everything to the same level.
Posted by: rams
i cannot wait to read this book. even more now.
i send good karma to your chosen publishers to smarten up and sign you already! let’s have a nice battle over cari’s book, okay? and may the nicest, most supportive, most generous publisher win!
Posted by: amyknitty
Thanks so much for sharing. I’m a composer, and I find that the best moments in the music I write are the moments that I didn’t plan at all. I wrote a string quartet that I was sure was going to end with a bang, so to speak. But it doesn’t…it ends up dying away into silence. I had no idea it was going to end that way until the day I wrote the ending. Now I can’t imagine it ending any other way.
I look forward to the day when I can read your book!
Posted by: Michelle
Learning about the creative process of writing, and the time (over years!) it takes to create the story, brings to mind the process of living a life. It evolves as a story does and it may not be what you thought it would be when you began.
Posted by: margene
Wow, that’s really a great post. It’s interesting what we see when we step away from our work/art/whatever and look at it in a different way. It’s completely the same and totally different and that’s the way it is supposed to be.
Posted by: Becca
Alison beat me to it–your novel should start plotting world domination. I like that I don’t read any tired resignation in this post, which I would have had were I facing my eighth draft of anything. I have a good feeling about this one.
Posted by: Michelle
Sounds a little like Eugenides telling about how in the ten years it took to write Middlesex his own father died and he became a father and how that changed things — the early parts of the draft felt soft and he’d gotten stronger, so much of the time was just bringing everything to the same level.
Posted by: rams
i cannot wait to read this book. even more now.
i send good karma to your chosen publishers to smarten up and sign you already! let’s have a nice battle over cari’s book, okay? and may the nicest, most supportive, most generous publisher win!
Posted by: amyknitty
Thanks so much for sharing. I’m a composer, and I find that the best moments in the music I write are the moments that I didn’t plan at all. I wrote a string quartet that I was sure was going to end with a bang, so to speak. But it doesn’t…it ends up dying away into silence. I had no idea it was going to end that way until the day I wrote the ending. Now I can’t imagine it ending any other way.
I look forward to the day when I can read your book!
Posted by: Michelle
Learning about the creative process of writing, and the time (over years!) it takes to create the story, brings to mind the process of living a life. It evolves as a story does and it may not be what you thought it would be when you began.
Posted by: margene
Wow, that’s really a great post. It’s interesting what we see when we step away from our work/art/whatever and look at it in a different way. It’s completely the same and totally different and that’s the way it is supposed to be.
Posted by: Becca
your teacher MICHAEL CUNNINGHAM??!!? wow. oh, wow.
where, where did you study with him?
sorry, I get carried away but The Hours blew me away. Sending you all good wishes on the final draft…
Posted by: caroline
Kind of like life, huh? Ten years ago did you plan on being where you are now? Burping that little man on your shoulder while Billy sleeps upstairs? Just inevitable, without Serious Planning. I’m with Michelle — I have a good feeling.
Posted by: Rachael
hey. have no real comment or anything brilliant to add to the discussion….just enjoyed reading this post. made me smile.
Posted by: rebecca
Reading about how you write makes the process seem like magic. Even when I know it’s not.
Such a nice post.
Posted by: Steph
I love to read about talented people and their creative processes! I’ve been afraid in the past to start a big project, and it has kept me from doing anything at all. (some call it analysis paralysis) I like how you jump in and then see where it takes you. Gonna hafta try that. Can’t wait to read the novel!
Posted by: jenn
your teacher MICHAEL CUNNINGHAM??!!? wow. oh, wow.
where, where did you study with him?
sorry, I get carried away but The Hours blew me away. Sending you all good wishes on the final draft…
Posted by: caroline
Kind of like life, huh? Ten years ago did you plan on being where you are now? Burping that little man on your shoulder while Billy sleeps upstairs? Just inevitable, without Serious Planning. I’m with Michelle — I have a good feeling.
Posted by: Rachael
hey. have no real comment or anything brilliant to add to the discussion….just enjoyed reading this post. made me smile.
Posted by: rebecca
Reading about how you write makes the process seem like magic. Even when I know it’s not.
Such a nice post.
Posted by: Steph
I love to read about talented people and their creative processes! I’ve been afraid in the past to start a big project, and it has kept me from doing anything at all. (some call it analysis paralysis) I like how you jump in and then see where it takes you. Gonna hafta try that. Can’t wait to read the novel!
Posted by: jenn
What a nice way to sit with my coffee this morning. Writing as a craft and as a job really fascinates me, and I’m grateful to get the peeks you give us into your experience.
Can’t wait to read your novel!
Posted by: Amy
What a nice way to sit with my coffee this morning. Writing as a craft and as a job really fascinates me, and I’m grateful to get the peeks you give us into your experience.
Can’t wait to read your novel!
Posted by: Amy