Attention, Stupid Humans

Oscar Madison, Impossibly Cute Kitten here. Disregard the numbskull dog in the background.

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I understand that some of you are skeptical of the Girl Human’s claims that I’ve become enormous over the course of the four weeks that she dared stray from the boundaries of my benevolent control. She may be a stupid, easily manipulated human, but she is a decent judge of kitten growth. My doctor confirmed it at my check-up on Friday. I have grown to a massive 3.8 pounds. That’s right. I tripled in weight while she was away. Behold my massive size.

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Wait…bet you can’t catch me! Watch my speed! You’re in awe of my feline reflexes, aren’t you?

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I’m well on my way to world domination. You have been warned. Stupid humans that you are, you’ll chuckle and disregard this warning. Which all fits in with the plan. Now begone. I have ankles to bite.

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Stupid humans. Bring me food. Pet my belly. Go away. Come back. Feed me.

84 Comments on “Attention, Stupid Humans

  1. Ya know, for all his evil world domination plans, young Oscar seems very pleased to have you home. He looks great. He’s one lucky kitty to have found you.
    Posted by: Rachel H

  2. Oh those wicked cats — they really have us at their mercy. Oscar is just soooo cute.
    Posted by: Gina

  3. Ooooh, Oscar is SO cute! I’ve always wanted cats, but am dreadfully allergic. Even went through allergy shots, and that didn’t work either. Darn it.
    Posted by: Amy

  4. So little, and so aware! I’m so happy the dogs gave up their apetite for cats.
    Posted by: valentina

  5. Any news on the virus? Does he have it/not have it? It sounds like he’s definitely THRIVING. How wonderful. Did he even remember you? I have all these QUESTIONS!
    Posted by: Norma

  6. I’m impressed at how much he looks like my kitten (now nine months old and close to 8 lbs), from the shape of the white face splotch to the raccoon tail. Does Oscar have ear tufts?
    Posted by: naomi

  7. Adorable. And I will pay attention to the world domination warni–oh, who am I kidding? He is too cute to plot anything like that!
    Posted by: Jen

  8. When most pictures of a kitten have motion bluriness: you know they’re thriving! As far as Oscar’s plan for world domination, the world might be a better place with Oscar running the show.
    Posted by: Sonya

  9. We have two Iggy’s and they love to be under the blanket like yours. In fact if I can’t find them, I have to pat all the blankets that are on the couches. Your kitty is adorable.:)
    Posted by: Christy

  10. Love the come-here-go-away-come-here-go-away thing. Very feline.

    Damn, he’s adorable. How do you stand it?
    Posted by: Lee Ann

  11. Oh, I’m sooooooooooooooooo glad you’re back. You’ll never guess who I met tonight….Mr. Colorado. He’s in NYC.

    Anyway, more about you. I’m sooooooooooooooo glad you’re back. When are you going to re-enter MY atmosphere??????? Huh? Hmmm?

    xoxo
    j
    Posted by: john

  12. OMG … Oscar has really grown to such a big size! Adorable! Not one picture is clearly focussed … that shows how energetic this little guy is! Thanks so much for posting his pics!
    Posted by: Agnes

  13. Cari, you guys have done such a great job with him! I cried when you posted his first picture – he looked so forlorn! But look what love can do!
    Posted by: brenda in toronto

  14. Awww. I want a closeup of the “numbskull” dog. (He doesn’t make me sneeze.)
    Posted by: Cassie

  15. Um, I don’t want to alarm you… but have you heard of Clifford the Big Red Dog? Tiny puppy, grew to be bigger than a house? At the rate Oscar’s growing…just sayin’.

    And tell Diego dressing up as a ghost and trying to scare a caffeinated kitten just doesn’t work. But I’m sure he’s realized that by now.
    Posted by: Iris

  16. Oscar is looking fantastic. He was so obviously meant to be yours he’s thriving!

    Posted by: janine

  17. lol — how can anyone ignore the numbskull dog — they are so hilarious and totally unselfconscious of their foolishness — love it! and i can breathe around ’em (unlike cats ;(
    Posted by: patricia

  18. Catness!!!! How can something so very cute be so very wicked? Can’t wait to meet him next week!
    🙂 Welcome home Chicken!
    besosbesosbesos
    Posted by: serena

  19. Awwwwww, who’s a cute little world dominator? Who’s a cute little world dominator? Wuhzy wuhzy woo!
    Posted by: Em

  20. Ya know, for all his evil world domination plans, young Oscar seems very pleased to have you home. He looks great. He’s one lucky kitty to have found you.
    Posted by: Rachel H

  21. Oh those wicked cats — they really have us at their mercy. Oscar is just soooo cute.
    Posted by: Gina

  22. Ooooh, Oscar is SO cute! I’ve always wanted cats, but am dreadfully allergic. Even went through allergy shots, and that didn’t work either. Darn it.
    Posted by: Amy

  23. So little, and so aware! I’m so happy the dogs gave up their apetite for cats.
    Posted by: valentina

  24. Any news on the virus? Does he have it/not have it? It sounds like he’s definitely THRIVING. How wonderful. Did he even remember you? I have all these QUESTIONS!
    Posted by: Norma

  25. I’m impressed at how much he looks like my kitten (now nine months old and close to 8 lbs), from the shape of the white face splotch to the raccoon tail. Does Oscar have ear tufts?
    Posted by: naomi

  26. Adorable. And I will pay attention to the world domination warni–oh, who am I kidding? He is too cute to plot anything like that!
    Posted by: Jen

  27. When most pictures of a kitten have motion bluriness: you know they’re thriving! As far as Oscar’s plan for world domination, the world might be a better place with Oscar running the show.
    Posted by: Sonya

  28. We have two Iggy’s and they love to be under the blanket like yours. In fact if I can’t find them, I have to pat all the blankets that are on the couches. Your kitty is adorable.:)
    Posted by: Christy

  29. Love the come-here-go-away-come-here-go-away thing. Very feline.

    Damn, he’s adorable. How do you stand it?
    Posted by: Lee Ann

  30. Oh, I’m sooooooooooooooooo glad you’re back. You’ll never guess who I met tonight….Mr. Colorado. He’s in NYC.

    Anyway, more about you. I’m sooooooooooooooo glad you’re back. When are you going to re-enter MY atmosphere??????? Huh? Hmmm?

    xoxo
    j
    Posted by: john

  31. OMG … Oscar has really grown to such a big size! Adorable! Not one picture is clearly focussed … that shows how energetic this little guy is! Thanks so much for posting his pics!
    Posted by: Agnes

  32. Cari, you guys have done such a great job with him! I cried when you posted his first picture – he looked so forlorn! But look what love can do!
    Posted by: brenda in toronto

  33. Awww. I want a closeup of the “numbskull” dog. (He doesn’t make me sneeze.)
    Posted by: Cassie

  34. Um, I don’t want to alarm you… but have you heard of Clifford the Big Red Dog? Tiny puppy, grew to be bigger than a house? At the rate Oscar’s growing…just sayin’.

    And tell Diego dressing up as a ghost and trying to scare a caffeinated kitten just doesn’t work. But I’m sure he’s realized that by now.
    Posted by: Iris

  35. Oscar is looking fantastic. He was so obviously meant to be yours he’s thriving!

    Posted by: janine

  36. lol — how can anyone ignore the numbskull dog — they are so hilarious and totally unselfconscious of their foolishness — love it! and i can breathe around ’em (unlike cats ;(
    Posted by: patricia

  37. Catness!!!! How can something so very cute be so very wicked? Can’t wait to meet him next week!
    🙂 Welcome home Chicken!
    besosbesosbesos
    Posted by: serena

  38. Awwwwww, who’s a cute little world dominator? Who’s a cute little world dominator? Wuhzy wuhzy woo!
    Posted by: Em

  39. Um, how do the dogs fit in to his world domination plan? Are they co-conspirators, or enemies in his quest? 🙂
    Posted by: Libby

  40. ‘Which dog? Where?’ I thought, but I see him now. I’m always surprised by how small your dogs are, they look like they should be at least twice as big (there was a gentleman in my old neighborhood with a ‘hazewindhond’ that looked just like Diego who was about hip height for me, and I’m 1.75m). But what do I know from dogs? Now cats I know, and I see that Oscar is a fine specimen. Probably impossible, but fine nontheless. And heavy!

    And welcome back, Cari!
    Posted by: marrije

  41. Sooooooooo cute! And yet, only one-fifth the size of Mooky. Fortunately, Mooky is content with (though extremely skilled at) couch domination.
    Posted by: alison

  42. What a cutiepie! And the dog in the back is great! I first came to your blog because if it’s name. My minpin steals my yarn while I am using it. I could relate. All of your babies are very cute! 🙂
    Posted by: baast

  43. SOOO CUTE! You have done a great job nursing that kitty back to health. And despite the gender confusion, the name is so perfect 🙂
    Posted by: Vicki

  44. Oscar: how’s the “unraveling of everything knitted” and “getting in the way of everything (reading the paper, reading books, knitting (oh the fun yarn tails!), sitting underfoot (that’s the best place to stop for a bath) and batting random things from high places)” going? I trust that you are doing your part in creating cute distractions; I believe kittens and cats like you are great at teaching people like me to take life a leetle less seriously. Well done chap.
    Posted by: Kristen

  45. I love that he’s in constant motion! Have fun! Enjoy him while he’s tiny and shameless!
    Posted by: marissa

  46. Huge!!! And deviously endearing and cute. His plan will definitely work.
    Posted by: Sneaksleep

  47. Ohhhh kitty cuteness…yeah, right. World domination. They do that….It’s “my” world and I allow you to live in it as long as you feed me, play with me, let me wash you, don’t touch me, love me, love me, love me? What? ME? purrrrrrrr.
    (((hugs))) (glad your retreat was profitable)
    Posted by: knitnana

  48. Awww… He’s such a charmer! (Orange cats are the best kind. Just ask Orville & Wilbur. They’ll tell you.)
    Posted by: Anne

  49. not a kitty person (though I went to a party a friend had last night when Tiger became a “new” man, and joined the Eunuch religious order 🙂 but those are damn cute pictures! and even funnier quotes!
    Posted by: stinkerbell

  50. He’s HUUUUUUUUGE!!!! My god, he fills like HALF A CHAIR! I am totally impressed.
    Posted by: Cassie

  51. Um, how do the dogs fit in to his world domination plan? Are they co-conspirators, or enemies in his quest? 🙂
    Posted by: Libby

  52. ‘Which dog? Where?’ I thought, but I see him now. I’m always surprised by how small your dogs are, they look like they should be at least twice as big (there was a gentleman in my old neighborhood with a ‘hazewindhond’ that looked just like Diego who was about hip height for me, and I’m 1.75m). But what do I know from dogs? Now cats I know, and I see that Oscar is a fine specimen. Probably impossible, but fine nontheless. And heavy!

    And welcome back, Cari!
    Posted by: marrije

  53. Sooooooooo cute! And yet, only one-fifth the size of Mooky. Fortunately, Mooky is content with (though extremely skilled at) couch domination.
    Posted by: alison

  54. What a cutiepie! And the dog in the back is great! I first came to your blog because if it’s name. My minpin steals my yarn while I am using it. I could relate. All of your babies are very cute! 🙂
    Posted by: baast

  55. SOOO CUTE! You have done a great job nursing that kitty back to health. And despite the gender confusion, the name is so perfect 🙂
    Posted by: Vicki

  56. Oscar: how’s the “unraveling of everything knitted” and “getting in the way of everything (reading the paper, reading books, knitting (oh the fun yarn tails!), sitting underfoot (that’s the best place to stop for a bath) and batting random things from high places)” going? I trust that you are doing your part in creating cute distractions; I believe kittens and cats like you are great at teaching people like me to take life a leetle less seriously. Well done chap.
    Posted by: Kristen

  57. I love that he’s in constant motion! Have fun! Enjoy him while he’s tiny and shameless!
    Posted by: marissa

  58. Huge!!! And deviously endearing and cute. His plan will definitely work.
    Posted by: Sneaksleep

  59. Ohhhh kitty cuteness…yeah, right. World domination. They do that….It’s “my” world and I allow you to live in it as long as you feed me, play with me, let me wash you, don’t touch me, love me, love me, love me? What? ME? purrrrrrrr.
    (((hugs))) (glad your retreat was profitable)
    Posted by: knitnana

  60. Awww… He’s such a charmer! (Orange cats are the best kind. Just ask Orville & Wilbur. They’ll tell you.)
    Posted by: Anne

  61. not a kitty person (though I went to a party a friend had last night when Tiger became a “new” man, and joined the Eunuch religious order 🙂 but those are damn cute pictures! and even funnier quotes!
    Posted by: stinkerbell

  62. He’s HUUUUUUUUGE!!!! My god, he fills like HALF A CHAIR! I am totally impressed.
    Posted by: Cassie

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