On Saturday, Thumper and I had a little talk. “You’re getting to be a big boy,” I said. “It’s time to slow down on the nursing. From now on we’re going to nurse at naptime and bedtime, and that’s it.”
And he said, “Okay.”
And I felt a little sick.
The rest of Saturday went pretty well. He nursed at naptime, then didn’t mind so much having to wait for bedtime to nurse again.
Sunday was a little rougher.
Monday was rough. Really rough. He wanted to nurse. I told him he could nurse at naptime. Tantrums. Tears. Confusion. We muddled through. We did a lot of cuddling, singing, talking. And then we went to visit a neighbor, a mother of four who may very well be one of the best mothers I’ve ever met in my life. I told her we were having a rough day because of the weaning. I started to make excuses about why we were weaning. “He still wants to nurse two or three times a night,” I said. “Sometimes more. I’m tired.” This experienced mother smiled kindly and nodded. I know she’d nursed all four of her own until they weaned themselves, mostly around the age of four. She didn’t try to discourage me from weaning now, but I felt like I needed to justify myself to her, and everything I said sounded hollow.
Thumper and I went home. There was dinner, there was bathtime, there was nursing to sleep. As I lay there, watching him sleep, I realized I had been making excuses to my friend because I wasn’t doing the right thing. If you’ve made the right decision, you don’t need to apologize for it. Thumper didn’t want to wean and I didn’t want to wean him. If the problem was too much nursing at night, why was I trying to phase out nursing completely? And starting with limiting daytime nursing, at that, which was already tapering off naturally on its own? Maybe there was an argument here for night-weaning, but weaning completely? That didn’t even feel like a decision I would normally make. We’ve been letting Thumper take the lead on all the big developmental stuff to this point. Why was I trying to force the issue now? I’m not tired of nursing. I don’t resent it, don’t “want my body back,” as I’ve heard other mothers do.
It was peer pressure, and a lapse in trust in my own instincts to mother my own particular child. Two of Thumper’s friends at playgroup have been weaned in the past few weeks. The weaning mothers didn’t put this on me. No one has asked when I’ll be weaning Thumper. I put it on myself. I saw two of my friends weaning their two-year-olds, and that little voice of doubt started up, whispering that it was high time I did the same, that I would be breastfeeding a sixteen-year-old at the rate we were going. But that’s not true. He’s already started to cut back on his own during the day. He never asks to nurse when we’re not at home. He’ll wean in good time, when he’s ready.
When he woke up yesterday morning, the new nursing rules were gone. I told him I made a mistake, and that he can nurse whenever he wants, for as long as he needs to. And he said, “Okay.” And we had a fantastic, happy day. We read books, we played outside, we sang songs, we ate snacks. And we nursed. We nursed a lot. Seems he felt he had some making up to do. But then he slept well last night, and so did I. Maybe we’ll night wean at some point, maybe we won’t. Whatever we do, I’m going to be careful to base the decision only on our specific life, and our specific kid.
So yeah, I’m still breastfeeding my two-year-old. And we’ll keep going until he’s ready to stop. I’m just glad I realized my mistake before it was too late to turn back.
Congratulations for staying true to your son and yourself!!!
Congratulations for staying true to your son and yourself!!!
Good for you! It’s hard to realize when we’re doing things only because OTHERS do them.
You know, my Denizens all weaned themselves right around their first birthdays. Methinks once they got a taste of solid food, well, pfffft to mommy milk. They all would do the same thing: They’d smile politely when I tried to get them to nurse, maybe giggle and coo and otherwise act cute…but actually DRINK? Em…no…actually, we were thinkin’ maybe some PIZZA would be good, though…
Good for you! It’s hard to realize when we’re doing things only because OTHERS do them.
You know, my Denizens all weaned themselves right around their first birthdays. Methinks once they got a taste of solid food, well, pfffft to mommy milk. They all would do the same thing: They’d smile politely when I tried to get them to nurse, maybe giggle and coo and otherwise act cute…but actually DRINK? Em…no…actually, we were thinkin’ maybe some PIZZA would be good, though…
I was just having a discussion at knitting the other knit. The most important thing in parenting I’ve learned is that when you make a decision you have to stick to it. But give yourself one chance to change your mind. Nothing is worse than fighting a battle that when you’re heart’s not in it.
I was just having a discussion at knitting the other knit. The most important thing in parenting I’ve learned is that when you make a decision you have to stick to it. But give yourself one chance to change your mind. Nothing is worse than fighting a battle that when you’re heart’s not in it.
De-lurking. I’ve been there. Same thing, trying to wean when it was really nightweaning I wanted. The urge to wean comes and goes, especially when she goes through phases of wanting to nurse constantly during the day. But recently I’ve realized that my children are going to be grown up all too soon and I’m NOT going to push them away. Looks like I’ll soon be eating my words about nursing a 3-year-old.
De-lurking. I’ve been there. Same thing, trying to wean when it was really nightweaning I wanted. The urge to wean comes and goes, especially when she goes through phases of wanting to nurse constantly during the day. But recently I’ve realized that my children are going to be grown up all too soon and I’m NOT going to push them away. Looks like I’ll soon be eating my words about nursing a 3-year-old.
Coming out of lurkdom here to thank you for this post (and many others-love your blog). I am going through the same exact thing with my 2.5 year old and we had a few days just like you described. In the end, I did exactly what you did. My 1st weaned herself at 2.5. This one is still going strong. Every kid is different. I guess we just have to follow our instincts! Best wishes, Kathleen
Coming out of lurkdom here to thank you for this post (and many others-love your blog). I am going through the same exact thing with my 2.5 year old and we had a few days just like you described. In the end, I did exactly what you did. My 1st weaned herself at 2.5. This one is still going strong. Every kid is different. I guess we just have to follow our instincts! Best wishes, Kathleen
It really shows what a wonderful mom you are that you weren’t afraid to admit that you’d made a mistake about this.
Hannah weaned herself at 14 months and I felt like she was way too young. I was sad and felt like she didn’t need me anymore. I envy that you are still nursing your toddler and know you’ll make the right decision about this when the time comes.
It really shows what a wonderful mom you are that you weren’t afraid to admit that you’d made a mistake about this.
Hannah weaned herself at 14 months and I felt like she was way too young. I was sad and felt like she didn’t need me anymore. I envy that you are still nursing your toddler and know you’ll make the right decision about this when the time comes.
I don’t have any experience in this department, but I think it’s great that you had the courage to make the decision that’s right for you and your son. And I think it’s great that you were willing to admit your mistake to him. I’ve always been upfront like that with my daughter, and I think it’s made a difference. Wishing you the best!
I don’t have any experience in this department, but I think it’s great that you had the courage to make the decision that’s right for you and your son. And I think it’s great that you were willing to admit your mistake to him. I’ve always been upfront like that with my daughter, and I think it’s made a difference. Wishing you the best!
Hi Cari!
I’ll tell you what’s kept me from ever feeling resentful of nursing my daughter: we never night nurse anymore. Around 10 months of age we were having a crisis over the amount of times she was waking at night -she would sleep only an hour at a time. So totally against what I thought we’d be doing at that age we moved her into the next room. It turns out that WE had been disturbing HER at night, because she is a light sleeper. She immediately began sleeping through the night almost all of the time. To this day (18 mo) if she wakes at night she will usually resettle quickly, but if not, Daddy goes in to her, and she never expects to nurse back to sleep. She still nurses for naps, and first thing in the morning, but not to bed at night, and not in the middle of the night. So I never feel disturbed by nursing, and our time together is meaningful. You have to do what’s right for you own family, and if you don’t mind nursing, then don’t stop!
Hi Cari!
I’ll tell you what’s kept me from ever feeling resentful of nursing my daughter: we never night nurse anymore. Around 10 months of age we were having a crisis over the amount of times she was waking at night -she would sleep only an hour at a time. So totally against what I thought we’d be doing at that age we moved her into the next room. It turns out that WE had been disturbing HER at night, because she is a light sleeper. She immediately began sleeping through the night almost all of the time. To this day (18 mo) if she wakes at night she will usually resettle quickly, but if not, Daddy goes in to her, and she never expects to nurse back to sleep. She still nurses for naps, and first thing in the morning, but not to bed at night, and not in the middle of the night. So I never feel disturbed by nursing, and our time together is meaningful. You have to do what’s right for you own family, and if you don’t mind nursing, then don’t stop!
Even though my kids are bigger, there’s good stuff here about re-considering decisions that may not be right. Isn’t motherhood just a sea of the unknown — it’s so easy to use other people’s markers as your own. Good for you and Thumper for changing your course! (Okay, these nautical references are even annoying me as I type this comment!)
Even though my kids are bigger, there’s good stuff here about re-considering decisions that may not be right. Isn’t motherhood just a sea of the unknown — it’s so easy to use other people’s markers as your own. Good for you and Thumper for changing your course! (Okay, these nautical references are even annoying me as I type this comment!)
I didn’t read your caption until after I commented — funny!!
I didn’t read your caption until after I commented — funny!!
Here’s another GOOD FOR YOU! Way to listen to yourself and decide what’s right for your family.
When my son decided to wean himself at 12 months, I was a little sad. I miss the closeness of nursing. I sure didn’t miss the night feedings, mind you, but I did miss the ease of just nursing when he needed it instead of having to remember to bring a sippy cup of milk wherever we go.
Thanks for being an inspiration for people to go with their gut!
Here’s another GOOD FOR YOU! Way to listen to yourself and decide what’s right for your family.
When my son decided to wean himself at 12 months, I was a little sad. I miss the closeness of nursing. I sure didn’t miss the night feedings, mind you, but I did miss the ease of just nursing when he needed it instead of having to remember to bring a sippy cup of milk wherever we go.
Thanks for being an inspiration for people to go with their gut!
Good for you! I really don’t think you ever go wrong when you trust your instincts as a mother… but self doubt is so insidious.
Good for you! I really don’t think you ever go wrong when you trust your instincts as a mother… but self doubt is so insidious.
You are right, the best thing is to trust your instincts. Its hard to stick to them, but sounds like you have supportive people all around you, which is lucky.
You are right, the best thing is to trust your instincts. Its hard to stick to them, but sounds like you have supportive people all around you, which is lucky.
I am glad you listened to your inner voice. It will never fail you.
I am glad you listened to your inner voice. It will never fail you.
So cool how you thought it through, I’m so glad you shared your thought process. When he’s older, he’ll completely respect you for saying you made a mistake when you have – it will help him understand that it’s just human and no big deal, and it will help him learn what grace is. My son gets very frustrated with his dad for never saying he’s sorry, or admitting he made a mistake – his dad feels like it’s a shameful thing to admit.
So cool how you thought it through, I’m so glad you shared your thought process. When he’s older, he’ll completely respect you for saying you made a mistake when you have – it will help him understand that it’s just human and no big deal, and it will help him learn what grace is. My son gets very frustrated with his dad for never saying he’s sorry, or admitting he made a mistake – his dad feels like it’s a shameful thing to admit.
Admitting mistakes can be so hard in general, but in this case it just awes me. Your kid is damn lucky to have you and your common sense. 😀
Admitting mistakes can be so hard in general, but in this case it just awes me. Your kid is damn lucky to have you and your common sense. 😀
good for you for listening to your mother heart. i am baffled at some of the things i have done sometimes with the twins. i have just started to let go of the things i see/hear around me and let them tell me what their needs are.
we still give them bottles for nap and bed and i know there are die hards out there that take them away, but they love the cuddle time and i do too. my husband is awesome, when i brought up the bottle thing a few months ago, he told me bottles are just cups with nipples, not to worry about it. so i do not.
the thump will let you know when he is ready to transition. i am pretty sure it will be before his 16th birthday. because by then it would be so not cool to be doing that, you know. 😉
good for you for listening to your mother heart. i am baffled at some of the things i have done sometimes with the twins. i have just started to let go of the things i see/hear around me and let them tell me what their needs are.
we still give them bottles for nap and bed and i know there are die hards out there that take them away, but they love the cuddle time and i do too. my husband is awesome, when i brought up the bottle thing a few months ago, he told me bottles are just cups with nipples, not to worry about it. so i do not.
the thump will let you know when he is ready to transition. i am pretty sure it will be before his 16th birthday. because by then it would be so not cool to be doing that, you know. 😉
Instincts always stear us right. It’s just hard to hear them sometimes. Good for your for listening! Thumper is truly lucky.
Instincts always stear us right. It’s just hard to hear them sometimes. Good for your for listening! Thumper is truly lucky.
Absolutely right. The nursing will stop when both of you are ready. I wanted to wean when my son was two-ish because other moms had weaned. They are only small for a short period of time why rush to wean if you don’t really want to.
Absolutely right. The nursing will stop when both of you are ready. I wanted to wean when my son was two-ish because other moms had weaned. They are only small for a short period of time why rush to wean if you don’t really want to.
I admire what you are doing. I weaned my daughter at 15 months. Although she wasn’t feeding that much by then. I got sick of being bitten etc. I often wondered whether I made the right decision or not, but you can’t change things once you have done it. I really have alot of respect to those that keep up the nursing. And at the end of the day, you just do what feels right to you.
I admire what you are doing. I weaned my daughter at 15 months. Although she wasn’t feeding that much by then. I got sick of being bitten etc. I often wondered whether I made the right decision or not, but you can’t change things once you have done it. I really have alot of respect to those that keep up the nursing. And at the end of the day, you just do what feels right to you.
Hi Cari!
I think it is often easy to get caught up in what other parents or people in general think you should do with your life and your family. good for you for following what you knew to be right for you.
Hi Cari!
I think it is often easy to get caught up in what other parents or people in general think you should do with your life and your family. good for you for following what you knew to be right for you.
yea! good for you, Cari. sounds like the right decision for both of you.
yea! good for you, Cari. sounds like the right decision for both of you.
Good for you. It’s tough, this mothering gig, isn’t it?
My son stopped nursing at just over 2 years, my daughter at 3. It wasn’t that traumatic because it was the right time. I did have some comments from people who weren’t entirely comfortable with my nursing a toddler, but I was lucky enough to have a mother who had been a LLL leader at one time, so she was very supportive.
Good for you. It’s tough, this mothering gig, isn’t it?
My son stopped nursing at just over 2 years, my daughter at 3. It wasn’t that traumatic because it was the right time. I did have some comments from people who weren’t entirely comfortable with my nursing a toddler, but I was lucky enough to have a mother who had been a LLL leader at one time, so she was very supportive.
Unlurking to affirm your decision to let Thumper wean himself. Humans are hard-wired to nurse til they’re 4 or 5 no big deal. Don’t let anyone pressure you into doing what doesn’t fell right. (Your RLC – registered Lactation consultant speaks) 🙂
Unlurking to affirm your decision to let Thumper wean himself. Humans are hard-wired to nurse til they’re 4 or 5 no big deal. Don’t let anyone pressure you into doing what doesn’t fell right. (Your RLC – registered Lactation consultant speaks) 🙂
Good for you. It is such a personal decision. I’m glad you made the appropriate choice for you and Thumper.
Good for you. It is such a personal decision. I’m glad you made the appropriate choice for you and Thumper.
as a new doctor and hope-to-be mom someday (soonish), I want you to know that the WHO says everyone should exclusively nurse until 6 months, then food plus nursing until at *least* 2 years or “when mother and child think it mutually appropriate” to wean. You earn my undying respect for being amongst the minority still nursing at 2 years out!!!
as a new doctor and hope-to-be mom someday (soonish), I want you to know that the WHO says everyone should exclusively nurse until 6 months, then food plus nursing until at *least* 2 years or “when mother and child think it mutually appropriate” to wean. You earn my undying respect for being amongst the minority still nursing at 2 years out!!!
Good for you – for taking a step back and trusting yourself. Actually good for both you and Thumper.
From what I can tell, you can put yourself on that list of best mothers out there too.
Good for you – for taking a step back and trusting yourself. Actually good for both you and Thumper.
From what I can tell, you can put yourself on that list of best mothers out there too.
Good for you! I had four children over the span of 20 years. The first two were ‘scheduled’ according to what was in vogue that year. The last two was when I came to my senses. I had a wonderful doctor who said that even if children are not weaned at 4, they rarely asked you to come to school and let them nurse.
Child #3 weaned himself when baby #4 came along except for bedtimes, naptimes and stressful times.
Child #4 was the most fun. As we switched sides, I would say, “other side!” He asked to nurse by saying, “Other side!” People never figured it out.
He was a marvel child. Riding a 2 wheeler without training wheels at 3.5, teaching himself to read before kindergarten and weaning himself the day he learned to ride his bicycle with one hand, when he was 4.
What a smart kid! Now I think Thumper may be even brighter. Okay sure sounds better than a guilt trip!
You’re doing great!
Good for you! I had four children over the span of 20 years. The first two were ‘scheduled’ according to what was in vogue that year. The last two was when I came to my senses. I had a wonderful doctor who said that even if children are not weaned at 4, they rarely asked you to come to school and let them nurse.
Child #3 weaned himself when baby #4 came along except for bedtimes, naptimes and stressful times.
Child #4 was the most fun. As we switched sides, I would say, “other side!” He asked to nurse by saying, “Other side!” People never figured it out.
He was a marvel child. Riding a 2 wheeler without training wheels at 3.5, teaching himself to read before kindergarten and weaning himself the day he learned to ride his bicycle with one hand, when he was 4.
What a smart kid! Now I think Thumper may be even brighter. Okay sure sounds better than a guilt trip!
You’re doing great!
Good for you!
Good for you!
I nursed all four of my kids. Each was a very different weaning experience based on what was going on with us. It was as child led as I could make it and, no one went off to kindergarten much less high school nursing. My youngest is 18 and my oldest is 25. Being human, I have things I would have done differently but I have no regrets the time I spent nursing them. Motherhood can be a lonely journey at times, but since we are often alone we get to make choices like the one you made with Thumper. You know yourself and your child better than anyone, choose what is best for you. I wish I had had the opportunity to hear voices and stories like the one you shared in your post when I was nursing. Thanks and I am sure other moms will be grateful to read your story too.
I nursed all four of my kids. Each was a very different weaning experience based on what was going on with us. It was as child led as I could make it and, no one went off to kindergarten much less high school nursing. My youngest is 18 and my oldest is 25. Being human, I have things I would have done differently but I have no regrets the time I spent nursing them. Motherhood can be a lonely journey at times, but since we are often alone we get to make choices like the one you made with Thumper. You know yourself and your child better than anyone, choose what is best for you. I wish I had had the opportunity to hear voices and stories like the one you shared in your post when I was nursing. Thanks and I am sure other moms will be grateful to read your story too.
funny, this has been on my mind alot the last month or so. maybe it’s something about the 2.5 mark, we start thinking “my god i’m nursing an almost 3 year old.” do i want to stop or do think i’m supposed to stop? the people i know still nursing is getting fewer and fewer. for now, i’ve decided i want to slow down the night nursing, and have been able to do it for the most part with minimal fuss. it is hard to imagine he’ll ever stop nursing. i kind of change my mind every day. but my money’s banking that all this effort and energy is going to “pay off” in the long run, with a grounded, confident, trusting teenager/adult.
funny, this has been on my mind alot the last month or so. maybe it’s something about the 2.5 mark, we start thinking “my god i’m nursing an almost 3 year old.” do i want to stop or do think i’m supposed to stop? the people i know still nursing is getting fewer and fewer. for now, i’ve decided i want to slow down the night nursing, and have been able to do it for the most part with minimal fuss. it is hard to imagine he’ll ever stop nursing. i kind of change my mind every day. but my money’s banking that all this effort and energy is going to “pay off” in the long run, with a grounded, confident, trusting teenager/adult.
Delurking to say I am so impressed by your mothering skills and instincts. I am childless, so I don’t really know/understand all the challenges of motherhood. But I was a child once, so I do understand the importance of a mother… and you Cari, are a terrific mother. Our Western culture has a loooooonnngg way to go before mother’s receive the support/understanding they need and deserve, especially when it comes to nursing. I say, nurse Thumper for as long as he wants. I agree with the others who say, he will quit when he is ready — and it will be long before he is 16. Please continue to treasure those moments with him… they will be over all too soon. Bless you for raising a son who will love and treasure the women in his life.
Delurking to say I am so impressed by your mothering skills and instincts. I am childless, so I don’t really know/understand all the challenges of motherhood. But I was a child once, so I do understand the importance of a mother… and you Cari, are a terrific mother. Our Western culture has a loooooonnngg way to go before mother’s receive the support/understanding they need and deserve, especially when it comes to nursing. I say, nurse Thumper for as long as he wants. I agree with the others who say, he will quit when he is ready — and it will be long before he is 16. Please continue to treasure those moments with him… they will be over all too soon. Bless you for raising a son who will love and treasure the women in his life.
Nicely put, Cari.
Nicely put, Cari.
Thanks for this post. I’ve been struggling with weaning my two-yr-old-next-month for a while, figuring we’d be done with it by now. But like Thumper, he’s cutting down day nursing a lot on his own. I’m not sure why I felt the need to stop. But maybe now I can try not to rush it so much. Thanks again,
Jill
Thanks for this post. I’ve been struggling with weaning my two-yr-old-next-month for a while, figuring we’d be done with it by now. But like Thumper, he’s cutting down day nursing a lot on his own. I’m not sure why I felt the need to stop. But maybe now I can try not to rush it so much. Thanks again,
Jill
You’re absolutely right: he’s not going to be 16 and still nursing. I know sticking it out this long isn’t for everyone, but if it works for you and your family, more power to you.
You’re absolutely right: he’s not going to be 16 and still nursing. I know sticking it out this long isn’t for everyone, but if it works for you and your family, more power to you.
I am still nursing my 20 month old, but only family and a few close friends know. I decided to keep it private because I feel that it’s a personal decision and I’m really not interested in “helpful” advice about it. My own mother continually asks when I’m planning to wean. Good for you for listening to your instincts.
I am still nursing my 20 month old, but only family and a few close friends know. I decided to keep it private because I feel that it’s a personal decision and I’m really not interested in “helpful” advice about it. My own mother continually asks when I’m planning to wean. Good for you for listening to your instincts.
We nursed until three, and the kid weaned herself. And didn’t turn out half bad or too weird, if I do say so myself. 😉 Good for you for admitting a mistake to him, and looking yourself in the eye.
We nursed until three, and the kid weaned herself. And didn’t turn out half bad or too weird, if I do say so myself. 😉 Good for you for admitting a mistake to him, and looking yourself in the eye.
I live in an area where breast feeding is NOT common. I only knew one friend who nursed and she did it only for the time she was out on maternity. Regardless I knew that I was going to try. I committed to 6 weeks and would stop when he got teeth (I heard those teeth could be killers. ;-)) The joke was on me- my eldest popped his first tooth at a year! He self-weaned at a month shy of two years when I was soon to deliver my second. My second weaned just shy of three years. I was getting concerned that I would have to get PG to get him to wean when a weekend trip to his grandparents offered the solution. He’d been wanting to go like his big brother. He went, asked to nurse once when he got back and that was it. It’ll happen in due time. You have already set guidelines that are working for you two- the rest will come. And believe me, in 6 years (my youngest is 8) you will miss it…
I live in an area where breast feeding is NOT common. I only knew one friend who nursed and she did it only for the time she was out on maternity. Regardless I knew that I was going to try. I committed to 6 weeks and would stop when he got teeth (I heard those teeth could be killers. ;-)) The joke was on me- my eldest popped his first tooth at a year! He self-weaned at a month shy of two years when I was soon to deliver my second. My second weaned just shy of three years. I was getting concerned that I would have to get PG to get him to wean when a weekend trip to his grandparents offered the solution. He’d been wanting to go like his big brother. He went, asked to nurse once when he got back and that was it. It’ll happen in due time. You have already set guidelines that are working for you two- the rest will come. And believe me, in 6 years (my youngest is 8) you will miss it…
Good for you for trusting your gut. That’s what makes you a great mother.
I nursed both kids for about 14 months each. I quit the first time too early for me (though probably not Emma) because I was pregnant with Xander and just couldn’t manage it physically.
With Xander I wanted to only night wean but for him it was all nursing or no nursing. It was a hard decision because he really wanted to continue (he was in daycare during the day so our time together was at night) but I was so sleep deprived I couldn’t function or work productively anymore. So it was right for us and I have no regrets. Though I miss those times every so often.
Thumper and you will find your own way too, even if there are a few bumps along the way.
He is adorable.
Good for you for trusting your gut. That’s what makes you a great mother.
I nursed both kids for about 14 months each. I quit the first time too early for me (though probably not Emma) because I was pregnant with Xander and just couldn’t manage it physically.
With Xander I wanted to only night wean but for him it was all nursing or no nursing. It was a hard decision because he really wanted to continue (he was in daycare during the day so our time together was at night) but I was so sleep deprived I couldn’t function or work productively anymore. So it was right for us and I have no regrets. Though I miss those times every so often.
Thumper and you will find your own way too, even if there are a few bumps along the way.
He is adorable.
I dread the day Meli stops nursing. Although I sort of hope it comes too soon. I plan on weaning her when I try to get pregnant again – not because I don’t want to nurse her while I’m pregnant, but because I have to take all kinds of hormones to get pregnant and I don’t think that’s so smart for her.
I admire your decision. There’s nothing wrong with deciding something then changing your mind after careful consideration. Shows lots of strength.
I dread the day Meli stops nursing. Although I sort of hope it comes too soon. I plan on weaning her when I try to get pregnant again – not because I don’t want to nurse her while I’m pregnant, but because I have to take all kinds of hormones to get pregnant and I don’t think that’s so smart for her.
I admire your decision. There’s nothing wrong with deciding something then changing your mind after careful consideration. Shows lots of strength.
Glad you were able to discern the best path for the two of you. It can be so hard to make parenting decisions based on just that!
My kids are older (middle-school aged), and I was just going through a similar situation recently, not with nursing (obviously! LOL) but with regard to homeschooling…we’ve always homeschooled, but lately several other families we know have been putting their kids in school once they got to this age or the high school years. These are families that I always looked to for advice and encouragement in our homeschooling path, so when they started to put their kids in school, I started thinking maybe we should be thinking about that too. We never said we wouldn’t take that path, but that we’d do what worked best for our kids as they got older. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized homeschool still works for us and is still best for us for a lot of reasons and I shouldn’t feel pressured to give that up just because other people are making different choices. As soon as I came to that realization, I felt a huge sense of relief, and I knew it was the right choice! Why DO we question our instincts like that? LOL
Glad you were able to discern the best path for the two of you. It can be so hard to make parenting decisions based on just that!
My kids are older (middle-school aged), and I was just going through a similar situation recently, not with nursing (obviously! LOL) but with regard to homeschooling…we’ve always homeschooled, but lately several other families we know have been putting their kids in school once they got to this age or the high school years. These are families that I always looked to for advice and encouragement in our homeschooling path, so when they started to put their kids in school, I started thinking maybe we should be thinking about that too. We never said we wouldn’t take that path, but that we’d do what worked best for our kids as they got older. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized homeschool still works for us and is still best for us for a lot of reasons and I shouldn’t feel pressured to give that up just because other people are making different choices. As soon as I came to that realization, I felt a huge sense of relief, and I knew it was the right choice! Why DO we question our instincts like that? LOL
what a great post! The comments were terrific to read too. Not that we’re close to weaning, but the night nursing is a bit of a drag. I love the discussion of the whole thing.
what a great post! The comments were terrific to read too. Not that we’re close to weaning, but the night nursing is a bit of a drag. I love the discussion of the whole thing.
Cari, you are doing what is right for you and for Thumper and that’s what matters. If you try something and realize that it doesn’t work for the two of you, good for you to admit that you made an incorrect choice and go back to what was working.
My guess is that when you get pregnant again or when you have another baby, Thumper will wean himself. It not a big deal. I was unable to nurse my youngest past 6 weeks because he wasn’t getting what he needed and it hurt my feelings and made me feel less because I couldn’t do that.
Cari, you are doing what is right for you and for Thumper and that’s what matters. If you try something and realize that it doesn’t work for the two of you, good for you to admit that you made an incorrect choice and go back to what was working.
My guess is that when you get pregnant again or when you have another baby, Thumper will wean himself. It not a big deal. I was unable to nurse my youngest past 6 weeks because he wasn’t getting what he needed and it hurt my feelings and made me feel less because I couldn’t do that.
What a beautiful post! I’m 5 months pregnant and looking ahead to beginning my nursing days, and I find myself wiping away tears after reading this. Such a wonderful bond you and Thumper have.
What a beautiful post! I’m 5 months pregnant and looking ahead to beginning my nursing days, and I find myself wiping away tears after reading this. Such a wonderful bond you and Thumper have.
oh we’ve just recently stopped at 25 months and it has been sad. my nipples just couldn’t take it anymore but yes, i would have gone on forever (so to speak) if it had been working well. but what’s with this Americanism ‘nursing’? breastfeeding, i’ve done it in public all around the world, at a posh hotel in my wedding dress, on the street in italy, on a seattle bus (yep, that caused some shock). breastfeeding – i’m proud of it.
oh we’ve just recently stopped at 25 months and it has been sad. my nipples just couldn’t take it anymore but yes, i would have gone on forever (so to speak) if it had been working well. but what’s with this Americanism ‘nursing’? breastfeeding, i’ve done it in public all around the world, at a posh hotel in my wedding dress, on the street in italy, on a seattle bus (yep, that caused some shock). breastfeeding – i’m proud of it.
I thought my daughter (the first) would Never wean herself, but she finally did, and I don’t even remember how old she was! She must have been close to 2. This was “back in the day…” when breastfeeding was rare, and god forbid you nursed in public, especially someone older than a few weeks! I came under a lot of pressure from the in-laws, so I too tried to pick the schedule , but then said to heck with it and let her do it on her own. The second one weaned himself pretty quickly at 9 months–he had too much playing to do to spend time nursing! What different children!
I thought my daughter (the first) would Never wean herself, but she finally did, and I don’t even remember how old she was! She must have been close to 2. This was “back in the day…” when breastfeeding was rare, and god forbid you nursed in public, especially someone older than a few weeks! I came under a lot of pressure from the in-laws, so I too tried to pick the schedule , but then said to heck with it and let her do it on her own. The second one weaned himself pretty quickly at 9 months–he had too much playing to do to spend time nursing! What different children!
Dude. I’m so late to the party, but I just want you to know that I’m really, as always, impressed with you.
Thumper doesn’t know it yet, but he is too.
Dude. I’m so late to the party, but I just want you to know that I’m really, as always, impressed with you.
Thumper doesn’t know it yet, but he is too.
you are doing the right thing. we nursed for 2 years and she gradually weaned herself in about 6 months. he will tell you when he is ready.
you are doing the right thing. we nursed for 2 years and she gradually weaned herself in about 6 months. he will tell you when he is ready.
Cari, I haven’t commented in a long while but this resonated with me. My Olive is about the same age as Thumper (born in July ’06) & I’ve been following your journey all along. Olive is still nursing, still sleeping with us, still waking at night for cuddles & loves (we moved to no nursing between 11pm & 4am at a year, and no nursing between 11pm & 6am just in September – this is not always a blissful thing). We adjust it as needed for my sanity or to accomodate illnesses, but we both love it. Nursing is such a powerful connection. While I often feel like a total outcast freak, I think – this is what I truly believe will help her grow into the happiest, most confident, calm person. The sacrifices are worth it as long as you don’t resent it. Yay to mamas!
Cari, I haven’t commented in a long while but this resonated with me. My Olive is about the same age as Thumper (born in July ’06) & I’ve been following your journey all along. Olive is still nursing, still sleeping with us, still waking at night for cuddles & loves (we moved to no nursing between 11pm & 4am at a year, and no nursing between 11pm & 6am just in September – this is not always a blissful thing). We adjust it as needed for my sanity or to accomodate illnesses, but we both love it. Nursing is such a powerful connection. While I often feel like a total outcast freak, I think – this is what I truly believe will help her grow into the happiest, most confident, calm person. The sacrifices are worth it as long as you don’t resent it. Yay to mamas!
You young mothers are a lot smarter than some of my (the older) generation were. Nature made women with breasts for a reason, and nature made those breasts capable of giving nourishment for far longer than a year or two. I wish my generation had been as open and smart about breastfeeding.
You young mothers are a lot smarter than some of my (the older) generation were. Nature made women with breasts for a reason, and nature made those breasts capable of giving nourishment for far longer than a year or two. I wish my generation had been as open and smart about breastfeeding.