This bag, see?
What do you think? Momish?
I was in Goodwill the other day and I had a store credit to burn, and as I walked through the bag-and-shoes section to get to the bedding section (where one can occasionally score a handmade quilt for $14) it occurred to me that I haven’t carried a purse since I was thirteen years old. Somewhere around there I decided purses weren’t cool and switched over to a very, very cool Sesame Street lunchbox. (Yeah. I was THAT girl.) Then it was a series of backpacks and messenger bags and totes. There was a glorious turtle backpack bought for $3 at the Stuyvestant Town flea market in ’99 or thereabouts that I carried on my first date with Billy. It was a turtle shell, so I felt like a turtle when I wore it and this pleased me. (Why did this please me? That’s hard to explain.)
Billy hated that turtle backpack, though obviously it didn’t keep him from dating me and then marrying me. And as a show of my love for him, I donated it to the Salvation Army in the great stuff-editing that happened when we moved to Portland. (I still miss that damn backpack.) Billy hated that backpack because I would wear it when we went out. I didn’t have any purses, no nice, simple grown-up bags. This bothered him. He wouldn’t refuse to be seen with me with the turtle backpack. It just…bugged him. I can respect that. I guess.
So there I was in Goodwill and I saw a bag that I liked. An actual purse that I liked. And I had this store credit. And I thought, “Poor Billy has been so good and uncomplaining about the fact that I have met his colleagues and patients and friends and family carrying either a gray backpack or a blaze-orange Strand tote bag. I should get this bag so I can look a little more pulled together when the situation calls for it.” See how thoughtful I was? Nice, right? You all should have such a wife.
He got home that evening and I showed him the bag and told him why I got it. I was rather pleased with myself. And then the conversation went like this:
Billy: “Um…That’s a mom bag.”
Me: “I’m a mom. And what’s a mom bag?”
Billy: “Your mom would pick out something like that.”
Me: “My mom has good taste. What’s a mom bag?”
Billy: “It’s just not…sexy.”
Okay. So let’s set aside the fact that most of us moms became moms by HAVING SEX, so what is so unsexy about moms? We’ll just ignore that right now. But what is it that makes this bag unsexy? Is it because it’s practical? Because it will hold more than a lipstick (which I don’t wear) and a condom (which my tied tubes laugh at)? Is THAT it?
You know what, dear husband? I AM a mom. And we don’t go out without the kids right now because the baby is too young. So even when I need to look “pulled toegther” I need a bag that can hold at the very least:
two diapers
a sippy cup
a baggie of almonds for kiddo
a baggie of O’s for the baby
one apple for each of us
whatever small toy is most favored by each kid at any given moment
a washcloth
or two
And then MAYBE also, oh…I don’t know…my wallet, the camera, my phone. And some index cards and a pen in case I get an idea and actually have a free hand to jot it down.
Okay. So maybe it IS a mom bag. You know what? If “Mom Bag” = Practical, I’m okay with that. It’s a pretty good time in my life to be practical.
I’m all ready to go.
I haven’t owned a purse in…a very long time. I’m backpacks all the way. I’ve got a large-ish backpack I use for everyday, and if I’ve got to go some place “dressier” I use a smaller, nicer backpack. But normally it’s the bigger backpack holding my knitting, lunch, shopping bags, wallet, sunglasses, water bottle, umbrella, cough drops, spinning guild name tag, sunflower seeds, mail I picked up at the po box…and probably some other stuff.
Your bag is alright, but I figured you’d get something red.
I like it! That’s an awesome Goodwill find…most of the bags at my local good will aren’t in anywhere near that nice of condition.
I am carrying a bag very similar to that one now and I am not a mom (yet). And even If I were, that’s not the point. It’s a nice looking, practical and stylish bag. It’s a classic that will never go out of style and it’s useful. Use it and he’ll get over it:)
I think it’s really sharp! Let us know the first time Billy says, “Oh, could you put this in your bag for me?”……
You are sexy and A MOM! so that bag is awesome. I would carry that bag. It’s cute, like you. (Although I’ve been known to carry diaper bags because they’re so roomy. I also wear a maternity swim suit (which is sexy and lowcut, I swear) because it’s comfy.)
I’m not sure that last comment helped at all, upon rereading it. 🙂
Um, honey, I saw the pic before I saw Billy’s comment, and in no way did I think of that bag as a mom bag.
(Setting aside the whole fact that lots of people think moms are tremendously sexy; hence the rude term MILF)
What I thought when I saw it was, “Oh, that looks sort of like my awesome sister’s awesome Coach Bag, which she needs for her awesome job in television (and which probably also is handy for her awesome role as a mom, too).
Whoops, forgot to add: ”
(Yes, I’m incredibly anal about grammar & punctuation. Sorry folks – can’t leave it at the door.)
It’s a totally cute bag and it is also sensible. End of story.
That bag’s only half the size of the ones the cute little sorority girls carry around, so how is it mom-related or unsexy exactly? I used to poke fun at the giant sorority girl bag but then I got the huge namaste laguna whatever-it-is and realized it holds 3 sketchbooks and 8 cameras and so, for the record, this non-mom with tubes already tied is walking around with a bag way, way bigger than yours. FWIW. You’re totally hot in that apron, by the way.
(my lunch box was Six Million Dollar Man. Stopping a train with his hands!)
Whoa, I just wrote the crappiest sentence ever.
I’m not a mom and I would carry that bag.
I am jealous as hell of your Goodwill score! It’s stylish, classic, AND practical. Will go well with any outfit, in any situation. That is so hard to find in a purse/bag!
I really can’t see what he’s complaining about. It’s not a diaper bag! It looks like a grown woman’s bag. No one will ever guess that you’ve got cheerios and toys in it!
I have never been comfortable carrying a purse I am more of a backpack kinda person. But I will say I do like the purse & love the picture nice apron.
I found the Mommy bag comment hilarious… it looks like a very nice, grown-up bag. I’m a mom too and I usually carry around a huge bag too, with books, knitting, lunch/snacks, umbrella, and assorted sundry, plus baby stuff if I’m with her. I usually prefer models with longer straps that you can carry messenger-style because my girl still likes to be carried in arms 🙂
I don’t think ‘mom bag’ and ‘sexy’ have to be mutually exclusive. Seems to me that bag has a little bit of style while also allowing you ample space for all your mom-related goods (and non-mom-related goods). Enjoy it!
My husband once bought me a handbag. A very nice, designer (Dooney & Bourke), in great shape handbag for $15. He was so proud. But it was a mom bag. And I am a mom, but it just made me feel old. So we gave it to his mom, and she loves it. And when I am old, I’ll use it. And although I don’t think your bag is a “Mom Bag”, I totally get the concept. My husband though, he still brings it up three years later.
Bonney’s got a point. My husband criticizes my “bottomless pit” bags, yet he constantly expects me to stash his stuff wherever we go …
DAMN Straight!
My first thought was hey, nice bag, looks a bit like my Namaste knitting bag. Score for you!
My second thought was: how is that ever a Mom purse? For one, the handles aren’t long enough that you can wear it cross-body. Second, there are no pleats or darts or puckers. Third, it did not originate in the 1980s.
I write this as someone struggling to give up her backpack and transition to a large purse. I’m an assistant prof, for goodness sake. Time to stop looking like a student.
you could even put a sock in it…my knitting is why this grama carries a big bag!
I think mom bags are sexy-who is sexier than a mom?
I add a little bit of something to spruce up most of the things I get from thrift stores. A bit of trim or applique can make things look like they came from a boutique instead of Savers. You could try putting on different handles, adding rivets, adding a bow or flower, substituting some I-cord for the little leash thing…
First of all, I find this post hilarious! You, so full of good intentions and proud of yourself and Billy, so frank and tactless.
I personally don’t think there is anything wrong with your bag. It is a classic black purse just the right size to make it multipurpose without overdoing it.
So what’s up with Billy? He may not be used to this “classic/neutral” side of you. You are after all quite a singular woman with a unique sense of style and you’re known not to be afraid of bright colors. Billy must love this about you and may have been taken aback by your “out of character” classic purse choice. There must be a middle ground between the turtle backpack and the black purse.
I agree with a previous comment that just a little more boldness in the color would have had a different effect. I also understand your choice of black since it is your only purse of the kind and you want it to go with everything.
I think that as long as you wear it with your sexy apron or one of your beautiful hand-knitted sweaters, it won’t matter much to Billy anymore.
Enjoy your new purse, Mommy!
Go Cari!!
(Also, I’m obsessed with handbags and purses and it costs me a fortune. My mum gets my hand-me-downs though, so she loves it. You’re lucky.)
It is just a little momish, but not in a big way and combined with your usual flair for color and style it will just blend in and please you for years and years. If you’ve only got one handbag it does have to be kind of sensible, doesn’t it?
EXCUSE ME SWEET WILLIAM…………………………………a bag your Mom would buy???????????????????????????
Thank you for supporting me darling daughter.
Will you be apologizing to me, William, on your next visit?
Enjoy your new bag my cute kid.
Love,
Mom