Endless summer
Somehow I fall into the same trap every spring. I make all these fabulous plans, set all these fantastic goals for the summer. And then every year the summer whips by at light speed and I don’t manage to do even half of what I’d planned.
When I was a kid, summer seemed to go on for years. Decades. I mean, it was summer FOREVER (until suddenly it wasn’t and you were shopping for school clothes again because you outgrew your favorite purple cords). Yes, yes, it was that way for you too. That way for all kids. I mean, remember how an hour used to be a long time?
For some reason, I slip into this euphoric seasonal recall each spring. At the end of spring semester I had only about 120 pages of my novel written, and yet I planned to finish the first draft by the end of the summer. Right. As of this minute I’m on page 190, and I haven’t written a word in two weeks because I’ve been working too much. I also planned to finish four WIPs and complete two other knitting projects. I planned to get back into a more regular exercise routine. I planned to read twenty-two books, three of which were over 600 pages long and one of which was almost twice that (Infinite Jest. I’m stalled around 200. Got bored, forgive me). I also planned to work my butt off to stockpile some money, so I could work less once school started up again. Oh–and I had this fantastic series of paintings in mind.
Oh yeah, and plan a wedding.
Now I find myself in August already. I still have at least 200 pages to write before I’ve got a finished first draft of the novel, based on what still has to happen. I’ve read seven of those books so far, but none of the really long ones. I have managed to work my ass off, so that’s one goal met, but that’s what’s been keeping me from everything else.
All of this is fine, really. It’s been a great summer and there’s still plenty left of it. I’ve worked too much but that’s okay too. I have one deadline left, which is Friday, and then I won’t take on any more jobs until after the wedding and honeymoon. So now there will be time for the novel, for knitting, for painting, for reading. I still won’t meet those goals I set in May, but that’s the point I guess.
Year after year I keep planning for summer the way summer felt when I was eight. I’m not eight anymore, and time is shaped differently. Summer really did go on forever when I was younger, because that’s the way it felt. Well, now it’s zipping by. Think I’ll remember this next year? I kind of hope I won’t.
Here I am, bumming because I’m feeling like the summer has passed me by and nothing I planned has been done and ai-jesus-maria-jose-y-todo-los-santos I’ve got to get ready for the first day of kindergarten and grad school and haven’t shopped for my buddy’s wedding and what am I doing with my life???? and hey, I’m not the only one whose big plans didn’t all work out, but there’s always next year.
Apple pie and 2 cups of coffee, in case you were wondering what I’m on.
Posted by: Iris
Mmmm, pie.
I feel ya, truly. The whole back-to-school thing is really wigging me out. I think I learned this summer–I planned two major things. I did one of them. And at least I’ve got all this cotton yarn for *next* year’s knitting.
Posted by: Em
Ah, but at least there’s a summer to plan for. I miss living in the world ruled by semesters; now that I’ve left that world I don’t even have the luxury of looking at the upcoming summer and imagining all those goals, since there’s really no defined beginning and end to my summer, just time that happens to be named “July” and “August” but is really more of the same.
Posted by: J Strizzy
Such a lioness…I had to laugh at myself in this post. I just now got off the phone with my youngest brother who chided me *yet again* for my bad habit of making Lists for the Super Human and Expecting Perfection (but only from Myself)
I harumphed a little and said what I always say….Better to aim high than settle for mediocrity.
Dream ON!
Posted by: greta
It sounds like you’ve gotten quite a bit done this summer, and your original list was unobtainable! I find if I set insanely high goals for myself, I end up getting a lot done. Don’t be too hard on yourself – Lots of working, reading, knitting and some writing done; I think you’ve done great!
Your hair looks great too.
Posted by: Carrie
Oh dear, oh dear. I believe I must diagnose you with The Disease. Symptoms include:
insatiable curiosity
multiple natural talents
above average energy
misperception of hours contained in one Earth day
absence of perceived limitations
Hmm…maybe that’s a good disease to have!
Take it easy on yourself. 🙂
Posted by: teresa
I think it’s good to plan for summer like it was when you are eight. Kind of like you should dance like nobody’s watching.
Posted by: David
I love this post. You’ve captured the adult summer perfectly, all that is good and difficult about it. Maybe, actually, that’s why I always dread summer a wee bit, until I’m actually in it. I always think I have to plan too much, do too much. And then I do plan too much and do too much, and things get left out, but I’m having so much fun that it just rolls along as a summer should.
Posted by: Rachael
i feel your pain girlfriend. of course that is not just a summer disease for me. i fall into that trap every weekend. friday i make my plans. monday i get up having done none of them. i also have a monthly version of it. 🙂
p.s. vibrant lovely hair. will it still be that color at the weddin’?
Posted by: carolyn
Here I am, bumming because I’m feeling like the summer has passed me by and nothing I planned has been done and ai-jesus-maria-jose-y-todo-los-santos I’ve got to get ready for the first day of kindergarten and grad school and haven’t shopped for my buddy’s wedding and what am I doing with my life???? and hey, I’m not the only one whose big plans didn’t all work out, but there’s always next year.
Apple pie and 2 cups of coffee, in case you were wondering what I’m on.
Posted by: Iris
Mmmm, pie.
I feel ya, truly. The whole back-to-school thing is really wigging me out. I think I learned this summer–I planned two major things. I did one of them. And at least I’ve got all this cotton yarn for *next* year’s knitting.
Posted by: Em
Ah, but at least there’s a summer to plan for. I miss living in the world ruled by semesters; now that I’ve left that world I don’t even have the luxury of looking at the upcoming summer and imagining all those goals, since there’s really no defined beginning and end to my summer, just time that happens to be named “July” and “August” but is really more of the same.
Posted by: J Strizzy
Such a lioness…I had to laugh at myself in this post. I just now got off the phone with my youngest brother who chided me *yet again* for my bad habit of making Lists for the Super Human and Expecting Perfection (but only from Myself)
I harumphed a little and said what I always say….Better to aim high than settle for mediocrity.
Dream ON!
Posted by: greta
It sounds like you’ve gotten quite a bit done this summer, and your original list was unobtainable! I find if I set insanely high goals for myself, I end up getting a lot done. Don’t be too hard on yourself – Lots of working, reading, knitting and some writing done; I think you’ve done great!
Your hair looks great too.
Posted by: Carrie
Oh dear, oh dear. I believe I must diagnose you with The Disease. Symptoms include:
insatiable curiosity
multiple natural talents
above average energy
misperception of hours contained in one Earth day
absence of perceived limitations
Hmm…maybe that’s a good disease to have!
Take it easy on yourself. 🙂
Posted by: teresa
I think it’s good to plan for summer like it was when you are eight. Kind of like you should dance like nobody’s watching.
Posted by: David
I love this post. You’ve captured the adult summer perfectly, all that is good and difficult about it. Maybe, actually, that’s why I always dread summer a wee bit, until I’m actually in it. I always think I have to plan too much, do too much. And then I do plan too much and do too much, and things get left out, but I’m having so much fun that it just rolls along as a summer should.
Posted by: Rachael
i feel your pain girlfriend. of course that is not just a summer disease for me. i fall into that trap every weekend. friday i make my plans. monday i get up having done none of them. i also have a monthly version of it. 🙂
p.s. vibrant lovely hair. will it still be that color at the weddin’?
Posted by: carolyn