Farewell, beloved yogurt…
For the past week Thumper’s been trying to tell me something. Now, I’m new at this mom thing and so am far from fluent in the language of baby grunts and grimaces, but I think I’m finally getting the hint. For his first two weeks he was a rather laid-back little guy. And why shouldn’t he be? I nurse on demand and hold him or wear him in his sling all day. He sleeps with us and gets lots of snuggles and kisses. He’s got it pretty good. However, he’s not been a happy guy lately. My charming boy has taken to crying inconsolably throughout the day, clearly in a lot of discomfort. He’s a gassy guy. (He also cries and won’t be soothed for several hours each night, but that seems to be a normal baby thing. He still sleeps well at night, though, luckily.) The crying throughout the day and the obvious gassy pain and the pulling away from the breast to cry…I’m thinking it’s something in my diet that isn’t agreeing with him.
I’ve stopped eating dairy and I’m hoping that will help. Already he seems more comfortable today. The latest thing this parenting adventure has taught me? Holding your crying, screaming baby and being absolutely powerless to soothe him is quite possibly the worst feeling in the world. We both spent a good part of yesterday in tears. I could do with a bit less of that.
One of my aunts always noticed that broccoli and cauliflower really bugged her breastfed babies. Do you eat a lot of those in your diet? Hope he and you get a break from the crying! :o)
Posted by: Mia
You’ll get the hang of it and figure out what things you can/can’t eat. Plus, as he gets bigger he’ll be able to tolerate more of the foods you like.
Posted by: Carole
I had to switch my son to soy formula for exactly the same reason.. he’s 4 and still I notice a change in his temperment when he’s eaten something with dairy products.
Posted by: Mouse
Poor both of you! I hope not eating the dairy products does the trick!
Posted by: Karen
Oh, poor little guy. This happened with my first baby. Broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage and bananas all seemed to make it worse. I hope you find a solution soon. That helpless feeling is so awful, but it will get better, I promise. As you and he continue to be better acquainted you’ll both learn how to communicate. Sending lots of soothing love for Thumper’s little tummy.
Posted by: Nathania
Aw, from a gassy girl to a gassy guy: someday, gas will be fun and hilarious and you will go through a phase that will torment your mother with endless ecstatic eructations. Until that day, I hope the cutting out of beloved dairy works, because the whole mutual misery thng sounds heartbreaking.
Posted by: spaazlicious
One of my aunts always noticed that broccoli and cauliflower really bugged her breastfed babies. Do you eat a lot of those in your diet? Hope he and you get a break from the crying! :o)
Posted by: Mia
You’ll get the hang of it and figure out what things you can/can’t eat. Plus, as he gets bigger he’ll be able to tolerate more of the foods you like.
Posted by: Carole
I had to switch my son to soy formula for exactly the same reason.. he’s 4 and still I notice a change in his temperment when he’s eaten something with dairy products.
Posted by: Mouse
Poor both of you! I hope not eating the dairy products does the trick!
Posted by: Karen
Oh, poor little guy. This happened with my first baby. Broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage and bananas all seemed to make it worse. I hope you find a solution soon. That helpless feeling is so awful, but it will get better, I promise. As you and he continue to be better acquainted you’ll both learn how to communicate. Sending lots of soothing love for Thumper’s little tummy.
Posted by: Nathania
Aw, from a gassy girl to a gassy guy: someday, gas will be fun and hilarious and you will go through a phase that will torment your mother with endless ecstatic eructations. Until that day, I hope the cutting out of beloved dairy works, because the whole mutual misery thng sounds heartbreaking.
Posted by: spaazlicious
Hi Cari, it gets better. One of the things the books I was sent home with from the hospital told me was that babies are their moodiest at about 3-4 weeks. Alex does the same thing, and I’m discovering that if he pulls away from the breast and screams, I burp him. That seems to do the trick, paired with the non-dairy diet. Now I notice, since I’ve been mostly off it for about 4 weeks, that when I have something that does have dairy, like Dante’s birthday cake yesterday, that I can tell because my body reacts to it too. I mean, I’m alergic to milk too, always have been, but now I can really feel it… sort of like when you cut out the extra grease and then have fast food. Try swaddeling him really tightly, and holding him close to you when he does the late night crying. And if he’ll take a pacifier, do that. Sometimes Alex won’t take the breast or the pacifier, but he will take my finger so I do that long enough to calm him down. And a book mentioned sushing him, right near his ear as loudly as he cries because it’s supposed to memic the sounds inside the womb and be calming. Just breath, and when he falls to sleep, walk away and have some tea. I sucked at reading Dante’s signals, but I’m much faster and better at it with the second kid. General crying that has no intensity or panic in it is just usually asking to be picked up, or protesting bordom. If it is high pitched and accompanied by legs drawn up and arching of the back, it’s pain, usually gas. sometimes gas drops help, but bouncing and vibration can help dislodge the gas bubble and that helps. I can not tell when he’s just protesting and I can let him cry for a few minutes and finish my food, or when it’s urgent like fear and pain. It’ll come. You’re doing just fine, and like a saying in the laction office said…”you’re the only mom your baby knows, and he thinks you’re wonderful”. In other words, don’t beat yourself up, or compare youself to other moms. God gave you your child because you were the best of all the moms he knew for that little boy.
Posted by: Cambria W
Oh, I can sympathize! We went through the exact same thing with our guy. At two weeks he got so gassy. I tried giving up soy foods and dairy but didn’t notice much difference. Turned out our problem was a very forceful let down, so he was coughing and spitting out milk a lot while nursing, which made him super gassy. Luckily I got it figured out and now at three months we are finally in a groove! Have you read the kellymom.com site? I have found that to be the best breastfeeding site. It has a great section on figuring out fussy issues. Good luck!
Posted by: knittymama
A little bit of camomile tea it could help…I hope he will get better. Un abrazo,
Lía
Posted by: Lía
Oh, poor Thumper! Poor Mamma!
A trick that worked for my babes when they were gassy … bicycle his legs up by his belly. Other than that, you will just have to start paying close attention to what you eat, so that you can pinpoint the things that bother him.
And the inconsolable crying is the worst. You’ll figure it out, though. Honest.
Posted by: Ruth
Hi Cari, it gets better. One of the things the books I was sent home with from the hospital told me was that babies are their moodiest at about 3-4 weeks. Alex does the same thing, and I’m discovering that if he pulls away from the breast and screams, I burp him. That seems to do the trick, paired with the non-dairy diet. Now I notice, since I’ve been mostly off it for about 4 weeks, that when I have something that does have dairy, like Dante’s birthday cake yesterday, that I can tell because my body reacts to it too. I mean, I’m alergic to milk too, always have been, but now I can really feel it… sort of like when you cut out the extra grease and then have fast food. Try swaddeling him really tightly, and holding him close to you when he does the late night crying. And if he’ll take a pacifier, do that. Sometimes Alex won’t take the breast or the pacifier, but he will take my finger so I do that long enough to calm him down. And a book mentioned sushing him, right near his ear as loudly as he cries because it’s supposed to memic the sounds inside the womb and be calming. Just breath, and when he falls to sleep, walk away and have some tea. I sucked at reading Dante’s signals, but I’m much faster and better at it with the second kid. General crying that has no intensity or panic in it is just usually asking to be picked up, or protesting bordom. If it is high pitched and accompanied by legs drawn up and arching of the back, it’s pain, usually gas. sometimes gas drops help, but bouncing and vibration can help dislodge the gas bubble and that helps. I can not tell when he’s just protesting and I can let him cry for a few minutes and finish my food, or when it’s urgent like fear and pain. It’ll come. You’re doing just fine, and like a saying in the laction office said…”you’re the only mom your baby knows, and he thinks you’re wonderful”. In other words, don’t beat yourself up, or compare youself to other moms. God gave you your child because you were the best of all the moms he knew for that little boy.
Posted by: Cambria W
Oh, I can sympathize! We went through the exact same thing with our guy. At two weeks he got so gassy. I tried giving up soy foods and dairy but didn’t notice much difference. Turned out our problem was a very forceful let down, so he was coughing and spitting out milk a lot while nursing, which made him super gassy. Luckily I got it figured out and now at three months we are finally in a groove! Have you read the kellymom.com site? I have found that to be the best breastfeeding site. It has a great section on figuring out fussy issues. Good luck!
Posted by: knittymama
A little bit of camomile tea it could help…I hope he will get better. Un abrazo,
Lía
Posted by: Lía
Oh, poor Thumper! Poor Mamma!
A trick that worked for my babes when they were gassy … bicycle his legs up by his belly. Other than that, you will just have to start paying close attention to what you eat, so that you can pinpoint the things that bother him.
And the inconsolable crying is the worst. You’ll figure it out, though. Honest.
Posted by: Ruth
I’m sorry you had such a sad day. Hopefully the change in diet will help. I took a baby massage class and we learned a few things that can help with digestion. Maybe something to look into? Plus it’s a fun way to spend time with the baby.
Posted by: Jessica
Tadpole used to have a lot of crying fits of not feeling good. I carried her around on my shoulder a lot. And then I learned baby massage. Ah, baby massage, my love. It saved our lives often. I learned a colic relief massage and it would usually make her poop and feel better. Then I could sleep and feel better. Yay. Kisses to you all.
Posted by: kate
How’s your burping technique? It may take quite a few tries to get what works for Thumper. Also, I wonder if you’re correct about diet being the cause since you’re saying that he’s sleeping well at night. It could be that he’s overstimulated. Maybe he needs some time alone.
Posted by: LaurieM
My kiddo and I did fine on dairy, but soy caused the worst kind of misery for her. I would be awake all night walking up and down the hall trying desperately to soothe her. You’re right about that being the worst feeling in the world. Once I cut all (and I do mean ALL) soy out of my diet, she went back to being the world’s sweetest kid. Hope Thumper’s little tummy gets to feeling better ASAP.
Posted by: Jennifer
I’ve got nothin’ for you on this one, other than my sympathy. However, I’m sure that Melanie has gotcha covered.
Posted by: claudia
My little guy was also very gassy. Do you have “The Nursing Mother’s Companion”? It’s a great resource — I ended up cutting out all dairy, most veggies, legumes, etc. But, it got better and by twelve weeks, he was fine.
Posted by: Kathy
My second child was colicky and all I can tell you is sometimes you have to put him down in a crib, (or whatever safe place you choose) walk away and take a deep breath. Whatever I found that worked one day did not work the next. Eventually, he stopped crying and became more charming than I could have imagined. Give yourself a break and remember, it’s not your fault. He’s a beautiful boy. Take care.
Posted by: Eileen
gassy but cute, like the best of us. 🙂
Posted by: carolyn
I’m sorry you had such a sad day. Hopefully the change in diet will help. I took a baby massage class and we learned a few things that can help with digestion. Maybe something to look into? Plus it’s a fun way to spend time with the baby.
Posted by: Jessica
Tadpole used to have a lot of crying fits of not feeling good. I carried her around on my shoulder a lot. And then I learned baby massage. Ah, baby massage, my love. It saved our lives often. I learned a colic relief massage and it would usually make her poop and feel better. Then I could sleep and feel better. Yay. Kisses to you all.
Posted by: kate
How’s your burping technique? It may take quite a few tries to get what works for Thumper. Also, I wonder if you’re correct about diet being the cause since you’re saying that he’s sleeping well at night. It could be that he’s overstimulated. Maybe he needs some time alone.
Posted by: LaurieM
My kiddo and I did fine on dairy, but soy caused the worst kind of misery for her. I would be awake all night walking up and down the hall trying desperately to soothe her. You’re right about that being the worst feeling in the world. Once I cut all (and I do mean ALL) soy out of my diet, she went back to being the world’s sweetest kid. Hope Thumper’s little tummy gets to feeling better ASAP.
Posted by: Jennifer
I’ve got nothin’ for you on this one, other than my sympathy. However, I’m sure that Melanie has gotcha covered.
Posted by: claudia
My little guy was also very gassy. Do you have “The Nursing Mother’s Companion”? It’s a great resource — I ended up cutting out all dairy, most veggies, legumes, etc. But, it got better and by twelve weeks, he was fine.
Posted by: Kathy
My second child was colicky and all I can tell you is sometimes you have to put him down in a crib, (or whatever safe place you choose) walk away and take a deep breath. Whatever I found that worked one day did not work the next. Eventually, he stopped crying and became more charming than I could have imagined. Give yourself a break and remember, it’s not your fault. He’s a beautiful boy. Take care.
Posted by: Eileen
gassy but cute, like the best of us. 🙂
Posted by: carolyn
When he starts weaning you should pay close attention to anything he eats with dairy in it. Look for hives, rashes, diarrea, throwing up etc. Just a thing to keep in mind from a mom with two food allergic kids. 🙂
Posted by: stephanie
When I first became an IBCLC, I was keeping a list of all of the foods that different cultures said not to eat. Mexicans said no peppers, Hungarians were appalled. They all knew it was tomatoes. That boggled Italians, they were convinced it was greens. The Chinese mums shook their heads at that, the truth, they were sure…was dairy. The Danish looked at them stunned. Everybody knew dairy was fine. It was broccoli. Can’t have broccoli. The Japanese, thought that was crazy…
You get my drift. The truth is that most of our “forbidden foods” during lactation that are supposed to cause all of this gas (usually because their digestion in adults causes gas…like with beans or cauliflower) don’t cause gas in babies, because milk is not made of the things that you eat. You eat, your food is turned into energy to pump your blood, beat your heart, generate heat…and make milk. Your breasts don’t sit on your chest picking and choosing bits of food as they go by, thinking “oh,that looks like a lovely bit of lunch”. Many women restrict their diets badly, usually for no reason.
There are very few true things that posses “stray proteins” (things that can actually pass into your milk and trouble your baby.) Milk is at the top of the list (so is beef, but I know you don’t eat it) citrus…soy. You can find lists around. The symptoms of a baby troubled by true intolerance are things like spitting up, vomiting,diarrhea, rash (especially around the mouth or bum) and runny nose or general snottiness and crying.
If Thumpers only complaint is gas and some unhappiness, I’d have my money on oversupply and a generous let-down (nice problems to have) and treat it like that. (Call me if you want some suggestions, although it does get better even if you do nothing, just with time.)
Finally, Cambria is right. Babies his age often have crabby, difficult periods..and we don’t know why, it may be linked to aggressive brain growth, but we’re not sure. What we do know, is that researchers ultrasounded the bellies of babies that mums said were very gassy, and the bellies of babies whose mums said that they were not gassy at all, and discovered just about the exact same amount of gas. Stunning? I thought so.
Posted by: Stephanie
Poor guy. And I know how hard it is for a vegetarian to give up dairy. Hang in there. Maybe you’ll be able to reintroduce things as he gets older.
Posted by: Frith
Just wanted to add to the “it’ll get better, trust me” echo… it is heartbreaking though. Best of luck with your diet alterations…
Posted by: Aija
I can relate to feeling powerless to soothe a son…and not with a newborn. I held my 13 year-old last week while he sobbed over a girl (the horror!) who had broken his poor-little heart. Heartless wench!
I doesn’t go away with their age, you will always feel helpless.
Uplifting, yes?
It’s all worth it though when they come to you for comfort, even if when you feel inadequate.
Thumper’s little romper is absolutely adorable! We call our two and a half year old Bug so I am partial to all buggy type things! He is beautiful!
Posted by: Jaimi
Oh, man. My girl is 21.5 years old and I still remember that feeling as if it were yesterday. I hope you figure it out soon if not sooner! XO
Posted by: Norma
Don’t cut out all dairy if you can help it, as you will develop an allergy to it fairly quickly, if you aren’t eating it on a regular basis.
I found out the hard way 12 years ago, and now have unpleasant reactions to just the smallest amount. I miss ice cream!
Posted by: Ella
besides gas drops, there are colic tablets that disolve in their mouths and help their tummies. remember: no beans, cucumbers, citrus, cabbage, broccoli, coffee, chocolate… i forget other tummy triggers. my babies never reacted to chocolate! yippeee! this last one was still gasy and screamed from 5-8 every evening no matter what i did. she was a gulper. and devoured her dinner. a delight in the morning a tyrant at night. needless to say i did not go out at night….
feel better thumper!
Posted by: heatherly
When he starts weaning you should pay close attention to anything he eats with dairy in it. Look for hives, rashes, diarrea, throwing up etc. Just a thing to keep in mind from a mom with two food allergic kids. 🙂
Posted by: stephanie
When I first became an IBCLC, I was keeping a list of all of the foods that different cultures said not to eat. Mexicans said no peppers, Hungarians were appalled. They all knew it was tomatoes. That boggled Italians, they were convinced it was greens. The Chinese mums shook their heads at that, the truth, they were sure…was dairy. The Danish looked at them stunned. Everybody knew dairy was fine. It was broccoli. Can’t have broccoli. The Japanese, thought that was crazy…
You get my drift. The truth is that most of our “forbidden foods” during lactation that are supposed to cause all of this gas (usually because their digestion in adults causes gas…like with beans or cauliflower) don’t cause gas in babies, because milk is not made of the things that you eat. You eat, your food is turned into energy to pump your blood, beat your heart, generate heat…and make milk. Your breasts don’t sit on your chest picking and choosing bits of food as they go by, thinking “oh,that looks like a lovely bit of lunch”. Many women restrict their diets badly, usually for no reason.
There are very few true things that posses “stray proteins” (things that can actually pass into your milk and trouble your baby.) Milk is at the top of the list (so is beef, but I know you don’t eat it) citrus…soy. You can find lists around. The symptoms of a baby troubled by true intolerance are things like spitting up, vomiting,diarrhea, rash (especially around the mouth or bum) and runny nose or general snottiness and crying.
If Thumpers only complaint is gas and some unhappiness, I’d have my money on oversupply and a generous let-down (nice problems to have) and treat it like that. (Call me if you want some suggestions, although it does get better even if you do nothing, just with time.)
Finally, Cambria is right. Babies his age often have crabby, difficult periods..and we don’t know why, it may be linked to aggressive brain growth, but we’re not sure. What we do know, is that researchers ultrasounded the bellies of babies that mums said were very gassy, and the bellies of babies whose mums said that they were not gassy at all, and discovered just about the exact same amount of gas. Stunning? I thought so.
Posted by: Stephanie
Poor guy. And I know how hard it is for a vegetarian to give up dairy. Hang in there. Maybe you’ll be able to reintroduce things as he gets older.
Posted by: Frith
Just wanted to add to the “it’ll get better, trust me” echo… it is heartbreaking though. Best of luck with your diet alterations…
Posted by: Aija
I can relate to feeling powerless to soothe a son…and not with a newborn. I held my 13 year-old last week while he sobbed over a girl (the horror!) who had broken his poor-little heart. Heartless wench!
I doesn’t go away with their age, you will always feel helpless.
Uplifting, yes?
It’s all worth it though when they come to you for comfort, even if when you feel inadequate.
Thumper’s little romper is absolutely adorable! We call our two and a half year old Bug so I am partial to all buggy type things! He is beautiful!
Posted by: Jaimi
Oh, man. My girl is 21.5 years old and I still remember that feeling as if it were yesterday. I hope you figure it out soon if not sooner! XO
Posted by: Norma
Don’t cut out all dairy if you can help it, as you will develop an allergy to it fairly quickly, if you aren’t eating it on a regular basis.
I found out the hard way 12 years ago, and now have unpleasant reactions to just the smallest amount. I miss ice cream!
Posted by: Ella
besides gas drops, there are colic tablets that disolve in their mouths and help their tummies. remember: no beans, cucumbers, citrus, cabbage, broccoli, coffee, chocolate… i forget other tummy triggers. my babies never reacted to chocolate! yippeee! this last one was still gasy and screamed from 5-8 every evening no matter what i did. she was a gulper. and devoured her dinner. a delight in the morning a tyrant at night. needless to say i did not go out at night….
feel better thumper!
Posted by: heatherly
Awww, you poor things. I can’t give you any advice from experience, but I just wanted you to know I’m thinking of you. xo
Posted by: alison
I’m with my sister on this one, nothing but sympathy and good karma can I contribute. Oh, if only you could have a smallish cocktail to soothe you…oh well.
Posted by: Sil
Oh hunny. I needn’t tell you how I’ve been there, I know you know. One other thought, to add to the list of possibly gas-inducing foods: acid reflux. If he eats a little bit and then starts screaming, and if he spits up, it could be that. If it is, perhaps nursing with him a little inclined will help. Outside of that, I can only say that I **so** understand and am thinking of you.
Love you.
Posted by: melanie
Man, oh man, you have my sympathy. 25 years later and I still recall the angst of having a colicky baby who WOULD NOT SHUT UP no matter what we did or didn’t do. Besides the screaming, our baby would pull her knees up and gouge at her ears and face with her little fingers. It’s very unnerving to be unable to help your obviously miserable child. Ours started to scream about 20 minutes after each feeding, although she did usually sleep at night. (But not always – and I really disagree with the theory oI putting the baby down and just letting it scream.) It so happened that I worked at Children’s Hospital until the birth and so had lots of good advice which I hope will be helpful to you too. 1) Giving up dairy helped a lot, but you DO NOT HAVE TO GIVE UP YOGHURT as that is partially processed already and is not the same as milk. 2) Rest the baby face down across your knees and massage/pat his back until he burps – this seems to work better than upright for colicky babies 3) If you get really desperate, your pediatrician can give the baby simethicone drops and, even, baby phenobarb drops (don’t shriek in horror – when our second baby was even more colicky than the first, the pediatrician gave her that to save my sanity, but we didn’t use it much, fortunately.) 4) Get one of those bears that plays intrauterine sounds – it’s very soothing for the baby (and you, too!) 5) Place the baby in one of those mechanical swings, or in an infant seat on top of the drier (but don’t let him fall off!) or basically in anything that will provide constant motion, even a rocking chair.. 6) It goes without saying, almost, to not eat brocolli, brown beans, etc. Even though no one really knows what causes colic, why add gas pains to the problem? 7) Get your mother to come and take over the baby for part of the day so you don’t go crazy. Much as you love Thumper, unending screaming is distressing and you need some away time. 8) Our pediatrician friend who was visiting when Lily was about 3 months old said, “Go to the supermarket and buy some Gerber rice cereal, mix it with breast milk and feed her.” 9) A pacifier or the baby’s own thumb can help – sometimes you have to sort of train the baby to keep the thing in its mouth. The thumb is handier, but then you eventually have to get the kid to give THAT up. 10) All of these things helped, but it goes away after a while anyway – usually after three months, they say, but in our case almost a year. If I were doing it over again, I might even go against ancient and modern wisdom and try soy formula – because those screaming fits were horrible. Good luck – and Thumper will survive, and so will you.
Posted by: Mary K. in Rockport
Watch that you supplement with calcium (that is non dairy derived) (trust me- hard to find) Some brands of calcium fortified orange juice fit the bill. My daughter was extremely lactose intolerant, so many changes had to be made (by me!) Goat milk and cheese are sometimes okay-just be wary of pasteurization.
Good luck- sounds like you are such a good mommy to the wee lad!
Posted by: Deb
Cari, have you also tried massage, I am sure there are lots of articles on it. My son was colicky and I found that massaging from chest to belly got the gasses moving. This too will pass. Best wishes!!!!!
Posted by: Betsy
Yes, there’s nothing worse than watching your baby scream in pain and there’s nothing you can do. Hate that. I’m pretty sure that you can keep eating yogurt, but (cow’s) milk is definitely one of the most common foods baby won’t like mom eating. Isn’t that ironc, though? (considering formula is made from milk, not that we’re touching that)
Are you drinking fennel tea? You could also give it to him directly, or camomile. That worked with the Squeeks. Hope he can overcome that soon.
Posted by: valentina
With my first one (now 24), they (you know, “they”) discouraged us from thinking there might be a relationship between our diet and colic. Go figure. I’m glad you’re figuring it out, it’s hard to go through for everyone. You’re a good, thoughtful mom. On the bad evenings, I used to hold him sitting up on my lap, facing out, with my hands over his tummy, and sing the Muppet Show theme while wiggling him about. It even helped sometimes.
Posted by: Patti
Awww, you poor things. I can’t give you any advice from experience, but I just wanted you to know I’m thinking of you. xo
Posted by: alison
I’m with my sister on this one, nothing but sympathy and good karma can I contribute. Oh, if only you could have a smallish cocktail to soothe you…oh well.
Posted by: Sil
Oh hunny. I needn’t tell you how I’ve been there, I know you know. One other thought, to add to the list of possibly gas-inducing foods: acid reflux. If he eats a little bit and then starts screaming, and if he spits up, it could be that. If it is, perhaps nursing with him a little inclined will help. Outside of that, I can only say that I **so** understand and am thinking of you.
Love you.
Posted by: melanie
Man, oh man, you have my sympathy. 25 years later and I still recall the angst of having a colicky baby who WOULD NOT SHUT UP no matter what we did or didn’t do. Besides the screaming, our baby would pull her knees up and gouge at her ears and face with her little fingers. It’s very unnerving to be unable to help your obviously miserable child. Ours started to scream about 20 minutes after each feeding, although she did usually sleep at night. (But not always – and I really disagree with the theory oI putting the baby down and just letting it scream.) It so happened that I worked at Children’s Hospital until the birth and so had lots of good advice which I hope will be helpful to you too. 1) Giving up dairy helped a lot, but you DO NOT HAVE TO GIVE UP YOGHURT as that is partially processed already and is not the same as milk. 2) Rest the baby face down across your knees and massage/pat his back until he burps – this seems to work better than upright for colicky babies 3) If you get really desperate, your pediatrician can give the baby simethicone drops and, even, baby phenobarb drops (don’t shriek in horror – when our second baby was even more colicky than the first, the pediatrician gave her that to save my sanity, but we didn’t use it much, fortunately.) 4) Get one of those bears that plays intrauterine sounds – it’s very soothing for the baby (and you, too!) 5) Place the baby in one of those mechanical swings, or in an infant seat on top of the drier (but don’t let him fall off!) or basically in anything that will provide constant motion, even a rocking chair.. 6) It goes without saying, almost, to not eat brocolli, brown beans, etc. Even though no one really knows what causes colic, why add gas pains to the problem? 7) Get your mother to come and take over the baby for part of the day so you don’t go crazy. Much as you love Thumper, unending screaming is distressing and you need some away time. 8) Our pediatrician friend who was visiting when Lily was about 3 months old said, “Go to the supermarket and buy some Gerber rice cereal, mix it with breast milk and feed her.” 9) A pacifier or the baby’s own thumb can help – sometimes you have to sort of train the baby to keep the thing in its mouth. The thumb is handier, but then you eventually have to get the kid to give THAT up. 10) All of these things helped, but it goes away after a while anyway – usually after three months, they say, but in our case almost a year. If I were doing it over again, I might even go against ancient and modern wisdom and try soy formula – because those screaming fits were horrible. Good luck – and Thumper will survive, and so will you.
Posted by: Mary K. in Rockport
Watch that you supplement with calcium (that is non dairy derived) (trust me- hard to find) Some brands of calcium fortified orange juice fit the bill. My daughter was extremely lactose intolerant, so many changes had to be made (by me!) Goat milk and cheese are sometimes okay-just be wary of pasteurization.
Good luck- sounds like you are such a good mommy to the wee lad!
Posted by: Deb
Cari, have you also tried massage, I am sure there are lots of articles on it. My son was colicky and I found that massaging from chest to belly got the gasses moving. This too will pass. Best wishes!!!!!
Posted by: Betsy
Yes, there’s nothing worse than watching your baby scream in pain and there’s nothing you can do. Hate that. I’m pretty sure that you can keep eating yogurt, but (cow’s) milk is definitely one of the most common foods baby won’t like mom eating. Isn’t that ironc, though? (considering formula is made from milk, not that we’re touching that)
Are you drinking fennel tea? You could also give it to him directly, or camomile. That worked with the Squeeks. Hope he can overcome that soon.
Posted by: valentina
With my first one (now 24), they (you know, “they”) discouraged us from thinking there might be a relationship between our diet and colic. Go figure. I’m glad you’re figuring it out, it’s hard to go through for everyone. You’re a good, thoughtful mom. On the bad evenings, I used to hold him sitting up on my lap, facing out, with my hands over his tummy, and sing the Muppet Show theme while wiggling him about. It even helped sometimes.
Posted by: Patti
Oh boy, my heart goes out to you. The gassiness in my first baby stopped when I cut out dairy and garlic, but nothing made any difference with my second – he was just fussy (by which I mean crying all day long)from week 5 through week 12. And he screamed whenever he rode in the car. I didn’t think I would make it through.
Be strong, get help if you can, and take care of each other.
Posted by: Marie
I had the dairy problem too, although I do think yogurt was on my shortlist of things I could tolerate. Had to give up cheese for a long while.
Sigh. Crying babies still fill me with dread. The fragility of a baby and being powerless to soothe them is just damn painful.
Posted by: Cassie
Oh yeah, what Deb said about 11) calcium supplements – but NOT calcium lactate (I made that mistake). All these litttle adjustments can add up to a much more comfortable baby, a sane you, and lovely, continuing bonding. (Oh, how I envied/resented those moms with “easy” contented babies, babies who went from sound sleep in the car seat straight to sound sleep in their own beds. Any little interruption in the constant movement, and instantly OUR baby’s little eyes would snap open and the big screams would start…..) Well, this is supposed to be a help to you, not a revisit to a difficult period. Suffice to say, on the few occasions the baby wasn’t screaming we would run to get the camera and, at least in the photo album, we had a smiling baby. One day, the crying stops, just suddenly stops, and the silence is deafening.
Posted by: Mary K. in Rockport
Try some simethicone drops to help with the gas pain. Check w/ your pediatrician for his/her ok, but this will help tremendously. Can be bought over the counter.
Best of luck,
Lee
Posted by: Lee
I read the other people’s responses, and I can add been there done that.
The gas drops didn’t work extremely well for my little one. There was a vibrating seat that was very helpful, but I did the new mom thing and would think she needed to sleep/nap in her bed, so that would start the screaming again.
Luckily, my doctor is also a personal friend. He took her home for a night and prescribed a medicine call Levsin. I don’t know if you can still get it, but if you can, DO IT!!!
Posted by: Lisa Heiserman
Yep–my babe was not happy when I ate dairy either. While it was not an easy transition, neither does it have to be a permanent one. Hope things go OK.
Congrats on finding AP! Hip Hip Hooray! (We are API leaders now, all because AP parenting saved our sanities and made us love parenting.)
Posted by: The Purloined Letter
Unfortunately some babies are pretty uncomfortable with the food you choose. A friend of mine also had to cut out all yeasty white bread (especially really fresh rolls). Sometimes it is just the bubbles in the sodas which cause excessive gas.
This friend of mine mentioned above had her girl checked by a natural healer with a hair analysis. They found discomfort with yeast. After hearing her diagnosis I cut out the alcohol free wheat beer (normally it is said in Germany thet beer [like champagne] helps the milk flow, and my husband wanted to be helpful by supplying beer) from my diet as it contains yeast. After that I also had a comfortable baby.
Best wishes for you and Thumper 🙂
Petra
Posted by: Petra
I know how you feel, especially the crying because you are helpless. ( I had three crying babies!). What I learned was that if YOU or your husband have food allergies/intolerances then chances are the baby could be suffering from those foods, but if neither of you do then it’s unlikely that the baby will. Soy did not work for my boys if I wasn’t breastfeeding, but what I did find, as a Godsend way back twenty years ago, was a pre-digested formula called “Neutramagin”. Tastes awful but the babies loved it. So, when I wasn’t nursing,that’s what the last two got. I nursed the last one for 14 months and he was the most fickle, and nursed often, and the pediatrician said he was “a grazer” and nibbled all day, Yep, just the Let Down milk! Talk about full breasts! He’s 18 now and still nibbles all day( not on me, thank you, I heard that chuckle!)
Hope this helps.
Posted by: Lisa
My middle guy was allergic to both dairy and soy via breast milk. It’s not uncommon for babies with casein intolerance to have trouble with soy proteins too. Rice milk was it for us. I hope he is feeling better. He is adorable.
Posted by: Kathleen
Oh boy, my heart goes out to you. The gassiness in my first baby stopped when I cut out dairy and garlic, but nothing made any difference with my second – he was just fussy (by which I mean crying all day long)from week 5 through week 12. And he screamed whenever he rode in the car. I didn’t think I would make it through.
Be strong, get help if you can, and take care of each other.
Posted by: Marie
I had the dairy problem too, although I do think yogurt was on my shortlist of things I could tolerate. Had to give up cheese for a long while.
Sigh. Crying babies still fill me with dread. The fragility of a baby and being powerless to soothe them is just damn painful.
Posted by: Cassie
Oh yeah, what Deb said about 11) calcium supplements – but NOT calcium lactate (I made that mistake). All these litttle adjustments can add up to a much more comfortable baby, a sane you, and lovely, continuing bonding. (Oh, how I envied/resented those moms with “easy” contented babies, babies who went from sound sleep in the car seat straight to sound sleep in their own beds. Any little interruption in the constant movement, and instantly OUR baby’s little eyes would snap open and the big screams would start…..) Well, this is supposed to be a help to you, not a revisit to a difficult period. Suffice to say, on the few occasions the baby wasn’t screaming we would run to get the camera and, at least in the photo album, we had a smiling baby. One day, the crying stops, just suddenly stops, and the silence is deafening.
Posted by: Mary K. in Rockport
Try some simethicone drops to help with the gas pain. Check w/ your pediatrician for his/her ok, but this will help tremendously. Can be bought over the counter.
Best of luck,
Lee
Posted by: Lee
I read the other people’s responses, and I can add been there done that.
The gas drops didn’t work extremely well for my little one. There was a vibrating seat that was very helpful, but I did the new mom thing and would think she needed to sleep/nap in her bed, so that would start the screaming again.
Luckily, my doctor is also a personal friend. He took her home for a night and prescribed a medicine call Levsin. I don’t know if you can still get it, but if you can, DO IT!!!
Posted by: Lisa Heiserman
Yep–my babe was not happy when I ate dairy either. While it was not an easy transition, neither does it have to be a permanent one. Hope things go OK.
Congrats on finding AP! Hip Hip Hooray! (We are API leaders now, all because AP parenting saved our sanities and made us love parenting.)
Posted by: The Purloined Letter
Unfortunately some babies are pretty uncomfortable with the food you choose. A friend of mine also had to cut out all yeasty white bread (especially really fresh rolls). Sometimes it is just the bubbles in the sodas which cause excessive gas.
This friend of mine mentioned above had her girl checked by a natural healer with a hair analysis. They found discomfort with yeast. After hearing her diagnosis I cut out the alcohol free wheat beer (normally it is said in Germany thet beer [like champagne] helps the milk flow, and my husband wanted to be helpful by supplying beer) from my diet as it contains yeast. After that I also had a comfortable baby.
Best wishes for you and Thumper 🙂
Petra
Posted by: Petra
I know how you feel, especially the crying because you are helpless. ( I had three crying babies!). What I learned was that if YOU or your husband have food allergies/intolerances then chances are the baby could be suffering from those foods, but if neither of you do then it’s unlikely that the baby will. Soy did not work for my boys if I wasn’t breastfeeding, but what I did find, as a Godsend way back twenty years ago, was a pre-digested formula called “Neutramagin”. Tastes awful but the babies loved it. So, when I wasn’t nursing,that’s what the last two got. I nursed the last one for 14 months and he was the most fickle, and nursed often, and the pediatrician said he was “a grazer” and nibbled all day, Yep, just the Let Down milk! Talk about full breasts! He’s 18 now and still nibbles all day( not on me, thank you, I heard that chuckle!)
Hope this helps.
Posted by: Lisa
My middle guy was allergic to both dairy and soy via breast milk. It’s not uncommon for babies with casein intolerance to have trouble with soy proteins too. Rice milk was it for us. I hope he is feeling better. He is adorable.
Posted by: Kathleen
With my second one, it was corn that I couldnt eat. I know, “it shouldn’t really affect them, because it is processed before it is milk”, but if that were totally true, it shouldn’t matter what you eat/drink/take in terms of food, alcohol and drugs (prescription or not). When I ate corn, the milk she had after about 12 hours gave her real fits. Once I gave up those corn chips and popcorn (and anything else with cornstartch,syrup, etc in it) she was fine. But if it is “just” colic, the common logic is that it goes away fter about 3 months….LONG months, but they do pass.
Posted by: Nancy
for a second I thought you were talking about spaceballs. While I have no suggestions, I send good thoughts to the both of you!
Posted by: Julia
Advice is the new mother’s curse, innit?
Posted by: rams
With my second one, it was corn that I couldnt eat. I know, “it shouldn’t really affect them, because it is processed before it is milk”, but if that were totally true, it shouldn’t matter what you eat/drink/take in terms of food, alcohol and drugs (prescription or not). When I ate corn, the milk she had after about 12 hours gave her real fits. Once I gave up those corn chips and popcorn (and anything else with cornstartch,syrup, etc in it) she was fine. But if it is “just” colic, the common logic is that it goes away fter about 3 months….LONG months, but they do pass.
Posted by: Nancy
for a second I thought you were talking about spaceballs. While I have no suggestions, I send good thoughts to the both of you!
Posted by: Julia
Advice is the new mother’s curse, innit?
Posted by: rams