Fragment #5
All it takes is seeing one red pickup driving down the road and Im right back there, back to that summer. I think back on Joe, what we did and why. And I wonder if we really did get away with it after all, or if it rides him still the way it rides me. The way the ghost of it can rise up out of the bed of some strangers dusty pickup truck and hang over me like hate the whole day through. Some days it seems theres nothing on the road but pickup trucks. And some days it seems theyre all red.
An explanation, since I haven’t posted one of these in a while: These fragments are short bits of fiction. In general I’ll write them quickly–in five minutes or so–and post them straight away with minimal (or no) editing. Some of them may later find their way into a story or novel, or may get expanded into longer pieces, but in general I’m trying to write them as quick freewriting exercises with no expectation or pressure of a longer work or of even worrying if they’re any good. The exact opposite of what goes on in my regular fiction writing (which carries plenty of pressure, both internal and external, and which I don’t post on the blog, and the good or badness of which I worry about quite a bit sometimes).
That’s great – I absolutely want to know what happened that day. And am beginning to imagine myself what happened…
Question: are these totally unprompted bits, or do you use some kind of ‘starter’ for them? Or is it just an image, and object, that prompts the fictional sketch?
Thanks for sharing!
Posted by: Allegra
Wow! Once again you leave me wanting to know more!
Posted by: Anna
must.read.more. please.write.more.
Great little tidbit. Keep on writing!
Posted by: Jennifer
That’s great – I absolutely want to know what happened that day. And am beginning to imagine myself what happened…
Question: are these totally unprompted bits, or do you use some kind of ‘starter’ for them? Or is it just an image, and object, that prompts the fictional sketch?
Thanks for sharing!
Posted by: Allegra
Wow! Once again you leave me wanting to know more!
Posted by: Anna
must.read.more. please.write.more.
Great little tidbit. Keep on writing!
Posted by: Jennifer
Very evocative. I can imagine what happened that day, but I had a friend who was killed by a white pickup truck. Every time I see a white pickup truck, I have negative feelings toward it. I know, totally not fair. Fortunately the killer didn’t get away with it. He’s serving a 20 year sentence. I’m just glad you made the pickup red and not white or you would’ve freaked me out.
Posted by: Riin
My favorite fragment so far. I really enjoy your writing style, or at least your freewriting style 🙂
Posted by: Vicki
I agree with vicki…this is my favorite to date.
Posted by: Jen S
very lyrical. love it. perfect size.
Posted by: Megan
That’s great. It would be a great as an opening paragraph, or as a closing one.
Posted by: heather t
Very evocative. I can imagine what happened that day, but I had a friend who was killed by a white pickup truck. Every time I see a white pickup truck, I have negative feelings toward it. I know, totally not fair. Fortunately the killer didn’t get away with it. He’s serving a 20 year sentence. I’m just glad you made the pickup red and not white or you would’ve freaked me out.
Posted by: Riin
My favorite fragment so far. I really enjoy your writing style, or at least your freewriting style 🙂
Posted by: Vicki
I agree with vicki…this is my favorite to date.
Posted by: Jen S
very lyrical. love it. perfect size.
Posted by: Megan
That’s great. It would be a great as an opening paragraph, or as a closing one.
Posted by: heather t
I am glad to see another new fragment. I enjoy reading these!
Posted by: Knittripps
Great one. Very first-paragraph-of-a-short-story, I think. I’m a metaphor junkie, so the “hang over me like hate” was a particularly awesome line for me. Do you save pieces of these that you like verbatim, or are you more likely to use the themes/plots in them?
Posted by: Laurakeet
I like this one a lot, too! I want to know the whole story!
Posted by: janna
It SUCKS to come after SPAM….I hope I don’t get lost in the shuffle.
Please save this fragment and turn it into a story someday if you can. That’s an opening paragraph that would have had me buying the book.
Posted by: JoAnne
Powerful. I can feel the burden, the way the memory of this action haunts this person and how, on some days, this can be even more present.
And again, this passage makes me want to read more.
Posted by: Carmen
Reminds me of a friend’s mother, 20 years ago: she’d been badly treated and dumped by a guy (Jerry) with a red convertible. She didn’t take the dumping very well. Every time she saw a red convertible she’d say, in a slightly whiny nasal old-lady voice, something like “it’s Jerry! is that Jerry?” or “who’s that slut sitting next to Jerry?” or my favourite “there’s a red convertible but. . . it’s not Jerry”. And any other convertible she’d say, “there goes a convertible but. . . it’s not red”.
Posted by: jodi
I am glad to see another new fragment. I enjoy reading these!
Posted by: Knittripps
Great one. Very first-paragraph-of-a-short-story, I think. I’m a metaphor junkie, so the “hang over me like hate” was a particularly awesome line for me. Do you save pieces of these that you like verbatim, or are you more likely to use the themes/plots in them?
Posted by: Laurakeet
I like this one a lot, too! I want to know the whole story!
Posted by: janna
It SUCKS to come after SPAM….I hope I don’t get lost in the shuffle.
Please save this fragment and turn it into a story someday if you can. That’s an opening paragraph that would have had me buying the book.
Posted by: JoAnne
Powerful. I can feel the burden, the way the memory of this action haunts this person and how, on some days, this can be even more present.
And again, this passage makes me want to read more.
Posted by: Carmen
Reminds me of a friend’s mother, 20 years ago: she’d been badly treated and dumped by a guy (Jerry) with a red convertible. She didn’t take the dumping very well. Every time she saw a red convertible she’d say, in a slightly whiny nasal old-lady voice, something like “it’s Jerry! is that Jerry?” or “who’s that slut sitting next to Jerry?” or my favourite “there’s a red convertible but. . . it’s not Jerry”. And any other convertible she’d say, “there goes a convertible but. . . it’s not red”.
Posted by: jodi