Working on revisions today. Revisions are going pretty well, though I’ve changed my approach. Donigan was right that using the retyping method again and going back over and over and over each paragraph was overkill. The book doesn’t need that at this point. It needs revision, but it doesn’t need to be worked as hard as all that. The opening chapters want the majority of the work, and I rewrote those with the retyping method (and will revisit them a few more times, I’m sure), but for the rest I’ve gone back to working in the text.
I’m ready to be done with this book. One of the main characters is pregnant, and it hurts sometimes to be inside her head. Which is to say, no, I’m not pregnant. Or maybe I am again, because here we are in the two-week wait again. I got pregnant and stayed pregnant so effortlessly with Thumper. This isn’t where I expected to be, trying for the second kid. I’m not sure how much farther we’ll take it. The effort hasn’t gotten very medicalized yet, but we’re creeping towards that, and it’s not what we want. At some point, we may just have to say that we have one wonderful kid, and he is enough.
He is wonderful and he is enough. But damnit, I want another one. I’m not sure how many more miscarriages I can take, though. And I’m not sure how much longer I want to walk around with this ambivalently pregnant character. I had much more compassion for her position when I first wrote her. Today, I want to wring her neck.
I started crying when I saw a pregnant woman and the grocery today. You are not alone and you are in my thoughts.
Sorry to hear that babe. If you really really want one more, then wouldn’t trying medically (if your insurance or can afford it…) be worth it? I know it seems invasive, which it is- but if you know in your heart of hearts that you would really like one more, then maybe it would be worth trying for.
I must agree with you that Thumper seems totally awesome and would be just enough too 🙂
You might try a gluten-free diet. I’m trying after reading that just about every health problem I have is a symptom of gluten intolerance. I remember some of the other symptoms they listed were infertility and miscarriages though. Worth a try. Good luck.
I’m so sorry. 🙁 It’s no fun to keep trying and keep not getting pregnant. For us, the second child was hard, too. I ended up pregnant when we quit trying and were least expecting it. I will keep sending you good fertility vibes, though.
I hear you, chica.
*arm around shoulder*
I’m sorry to hear it…and it sounds like it must be really tough.
I wonder what the reading of this character will sound like with this raw energy and emotion from you behind her. This will be a very good book, I think. A very good one.
My one and only turns 23 this year. It just never happened for me again. So I’ll take my one blessing. So fertility vibes are sent your way in Portland. I’m recently move here myself from CA and am in McMinnville now.
Ah, dearie, I want to wring her neck too. But that’s kind of who she is. Hang in there, thinking of you.
We had to make the same decision a while back – one wonderful kid, why wasn’t there another? (Part of it was the urinary tract surgery I had as a kid – I guess we were lucky to have the one…), but we decided against too much medical intervention. Not saying that’s anyone’s decision to make but ours. You’ll do what’s right for your family.
I don’t in any way take your situation lightly, even if my comment is light in tone, OK? We all know that karma, or the gods, or the fates, or whatever, can be capricious and even perverse. So sometimes, what works is to ostentatiously, steadfastly turn your back on your endeavor and pretend that you aren’t trying, don’t even care. Unless there is some equivalent to burying St. Joseph upside down in the yard?
Not really sure what to add except that I’m thinking of you, and it’s good to hear work on the novel is going well even if it is hard at times x
Working with that character sounds very difficult. I’m wishing you unexpected reserves of patience, both with her and with the waiting and seeing.
I am so sorry. I was in a very similar situation between my two. They are 5 years apart. All I can tell you is that it still can happen, and whatever you decide will be what is right for you and your family. I’ll be thinking of you.
I’m sorry to hear that. It’s a no again for me this month too. Sending my best wishes.
Hugs Cari. I’m so sorry. Fingers are crossed for this cycle.
I’m not sure where you are w/ this journey two months later. I am not very much up on your blog, but I wanted to say that I’m sorry it’s been so difficult & frustrating, trying for another kid. Sending you a big hug from Prague.