Knitter Safari
By Thumper Dogsstealyarn, Adventure Baby
I set out recently on my most dangerous quest yet—to find and document knitters in the wild. I’m already quite experienced in the ways of the domestic knitter, having lived my entire life with my mother. But surely the tame house knitter is a different creature altogether than the majestic free-range knitter set loose in its natural habitat.
Ladies and Gentlemen: please do not attempt this on your own. I prepared for this safari for three months, and went in armed with a protective layer of Baby Cuteness and a strong Willingness to Be Dressed in Knitwear. Even with all this in my favor, I still approached with caution, especially when I found them gathering in groups.
The first leg of the journey brought me to The Point, where the wild knitter can often be seen drinking coffee, eating baked goods, and wrestling a fellow knitter to the ground over who gets the last apple and brie sandwich.
Would you look at this glorious specimen? 
The one who calls herself Iris was especially nice to cuddle, and the one next to her called Cassie? Note how she holds herself aloof when in a pack, paying attention to the knitting rather than basking in my extreme Baby Cuteness. Well, IÂ’m here to tell you folks, IÂ’ve cuddled with her too.
This one was called Melissa. She had put her knitting in Time Out just before this picture was taken. I was unable to find any reference to this phenomenon of “time out” in any of my guidebooks.
Sometimes wild knitters will camouflage themselves, dyeing their hair the color of yarn, all the better to stalk their prey. Fearsome yarny predators, but I am unafraid!
The wild knitter can be extremely unpredictable and dangerous. This is why I urge—nay—IMPLORE you to leave work such as mine to the professionals. A prime example here. This one tried to eat my head.
A special expedition was made to Barnes & Noble. Word had reached our camp that a most rare specimen would appear there—a rogue element notorious for her ability to lure the common house knitter from its lair, out into the wild. Behold the glory of the Nomadic Yarn Harlot! 
The final leg of our journey brought us to Union Square for something the knitters called a Knit Out. Normally a sedate spot frequented by skateboarders and farmers, on this day the place was swarming with knitters in the wild. The photographic evidence was simply too graphic to post here. Overwhelmed, I retreated to the playground, where I found several knitters and their offspring at play.
By carefully mimicking their behaviors and sounds, I was able to convince this family that I was one of them. I was amazed by how readily they accepted me into their group. The one with the cool T-shirt is Regina. She obviously bears all the telltale markings of a knitter. But here’s a fun fact for you up-and-coming researchers—her son is a knitter too. 
This one tried to throw me off by dressing like me. She said she was also researching the knitter in its natural habitat, but later on I saw some yarn in her bag. SheÂ’s one of them!
And then they tried to eat me again!
Frankly IÂ’m a bit worried about how my mother will behave at home now that sheÂ’s tasted a bit of her old freedom.
Join me next time, wonÂ’t you, when I travel deep into the backyard to observe the sniffing habits of the Brooklyn Italian Greyhound.
Until then, remember, I am Thumper and I am irresistible.
Awww – look at those cheekies! He’s going to have to expect to be eaten if he goes out in public with cheekies like those. He’s practically begging for it!
He’s getting so big!
Posted by: stephanie
Oh, too hilarious! Sounds like Thumper and mama had a very good day.
Posted by: Karma
Yay! Isn’t it so FUN to take the baby out and show him off? heh Just adorable. You just wanna bite those cheeks like an apple! I have a hard time resisting with my babies!
Posted by: Laura
Yes! he so totally is irresistible…that child is a force of nature. wonder who he got THAT from…
Posted by: caroline
Those. CHEEKS! Thumper is so huggable and adorable. And you look radiant in that picture, Cari! What fun.
Posted by: Carrie
Irrisitable indeed! What a lot fun you two had.
I can’t help but notice that Stephanie’s hair looks great! She’s always so worried about it frizzing up.
Posted by: LaurieM
I think Thumper needs to do an Outback adventure 🙂
Posted by: Alison
Awww – look at those cheekies! He’s going to have to expect to be eaten if he goes out in public with cheekies like those. He’s practically begging for it!
He’s getting so big!
Posted by: stephanie
Oh, too hilarious! Sounds like Thumper and mama had a very good day.
Posted by: Karma
Yay! Isn’t it so FUN to take the baby out and show him off? heh Just adorable. You just wanna bite those cheeks like an apple! I have a hard time resisting with my babies!
Posted by: Laura
Yes! he so totally is irresistible…that child is a force of nature. wonder who he got THAT from…
Posted by: caroline
Those. CHEEKS! Thumper is so huggable and adorable. And you look radiant in that picture, Cari! What fun.
Posted by: Carrie
Irrisitable indeed! What a lot fun you two had.
I can’t help but notice that Stephanie’s hair looks great! She’s always so worried about it frizzing up.
Posted by: LaurieM
I think Thumper needs to do an Outback adventure 🙂
Posted by: Alison
hahaha, brilliant. thumper is quite the charmer 🙂
Posted by: gleek
Count me in on the eating crowd. You are too cute not to at least nibble a teensy bit. And don’t count on your mama losing the urge to nibble on you any time soon because I still have to nibble on my four-year-old when the cuteness becomes overwhelming.
Posted by: liz
Dear Thumper,
Please tell me you’ll be venturing to Rhinebeck to continue your fieldwork on documenting knitters in the wild. I’d hate to think a dedicated and intrepid researcher such as yourself would have to miss such an opportunity. And I would welcome the chance to have you evaluate my cuddliness.
Hopefully yours,
Rachel H.
p.s. I wouldn’t worry about your mom. The knitting in her former habitat may have made her smile and laugh, but that beautiful happy glow on her face? All You, little man. All You.
Posted by: Rachel H
PLEASE, Thumper, next time warn me to put on sunglasses to shield me from the cuteness!!! I can’t deal! Must go rest a bit now.
Posted by: Norma
too funny!
Posted by: shoofly
Looks like you were hands free to knit the whole weekend, with all the eager baby holders. I’m sorry I wasn’t one of them.
Hiding under the couch with a sore throat and inability to cope with crowds.
Posted by: Juno
Resisting the urge to exibit my wild side and take nibbles off the roving Thumper was a severe test of will. Next time, little one, you will not be safe.
Posted by: Cassie
hahaha, brilliant. thumper is quite the charmer 🙂
Posted by: gleek
Count me in on the eating crowd. You are too cute not to at least nibble a teensy bit. And don’t count on your mama losing the urge to nibble on you any time soon because I still have to nibble on my four-year-old when the cuteness becomes overwhelming.
Posted by: liz
Dear Thumper,
Please tell me you’ll be venturing to Rhinebeck to continue your fieldwork on documenting knitters in the wild. I’d hate to think a dedicated and intrepid researcher such as yourself would have to miss such an opportunity. And I would welcome the chance to have you evaluate my cuddliness.
Hopefully yours,
Rachel H.
p.s. I wouldn’t worry about your mom. The knitting in her former habitat may have made her smile and laugh, but that beautiful happy glow on her face? All You, little man. All You.
Posted by: Rachel H
PLEASE, Thumper, next time warn me to put on sunglasses to shield me from the cuteness!!! I can’t deal! Must go rest a bit now.
Posted by: Norma
too funny!
Posted by: shoofly
Looks like you were hands free to knit the whole weekend, with all the eager baby holders. I’m sorry I wasn’t one of them.
Hiding under the couch with a sore throat and inability to cope with crowds.
Posted by: Juno
Resisting the urge to exibit my wild side and take nibbles off the roving Thumper was a severe test of will. Next time, little one, you will not be safe.
Posted by: Cassie
I’m in love with that boychik.
Posted by: regina
Irresistible!
Posted by: irene
Knitters? What knitters? All I see is an overabundance of beautiful babies…
Posted by: Amy
Love this post. To shake up your “writing and submitting” life, maybe this one’s for Yarnival!
Posted by: JulieFrick
Juno is hiding UNDER the couch?
Thumper, you’re right. Knitters are a dangerous crowd. If you’re going to Rhinebeck, little dude, you’d better put up the DefCute 1 Shield.
Posted by: Lee Ann
Sounds like you both had a great day!
Posted by: Karen
I would’ve cuddled you some more yesterday, but I was off trying to determine if it is safe to eat oysters that have been sitting in the sun all day. Apparently it is, but only if washed down with beer brewed in Brooklyn. One side effect, though, is the tiresome tendency toward alliteration.
Posted by: Other people call me Iris, too
I’m in love with that boychik.
Posted by: regina
Irresistible!
Posted by: irene
Knitters? What knitters? All I see is an overabundance of beautiful babies…
Posted by: Amy
Love this post. To shake up your “writing and submitting” life, maybe this one’s for Yarnival!
Posted by: JulieFrick
Juno is hiding UNDER the couch?
Thumper, you’re right. Knitters are a dangerous crowd. If you’re going to Rhinebeck, little dude, you’d better put up the DefCute 1 Shield.
Posted by: Lee Ann
Sounds like you both had a great day!
Posted by: Karen
I would’ve cuddled you some more yesterday, but I was off trying to determine if it is safe to eat oysters that have been sitting in the sun all day. Apparently it is, but only if washed down with beer brewed in Brooklyn. One side effect, though, is the tiresome tendency toward alliteration.
Posted by: Other people call me Iris, too
This is the most adorable post ever written by the most adorable baby ever.
Posted by: Carole
It’s so good to see everybody! Thanks, Thumper — I felt like I was there with you. Also, congratulations on your typing skills and stunning level of independence!
Posted by: alison
too much cuteness! thanks, Thumper!
Posted by: k
Too much cuteness, Thumper 🙂
Posted by: Aija
hee hee, awesome!
Posted by: melanie
Thumper is quite eloquent for such a young explorer! Such earning potential.
Posted by: Mary
Oh, already rubbing elbows with the stashtastic and famous! I love this post, and Thumper is irresistable!
Posted by: Marlena
This is the most adorable post ever written by the most adorable baby ever.
Posted by: Carole
It’s so good to see everybody! Thanks, Thumper — I felt like I was there with you. Also, congratulations on your typing skills and stunning level of independence!
Posted by: alison
too much cuteness! thanks, Thumper!
Posted by: k
Too much cuteness, Thumper 🙂
Posted by: Aija
hee hee, awesome!
Posted by: melanie
Thumper is quite eloquent for such a young explorer! Such earning potential.
Posted by: Mary
Oh, already rubbing elbows with the stashtastic and famous! I love this post, and Thumper is irresistable!
Posted by: Marlena
Oh, the dewlaps – of course they must be gently pinched.
Posted by: Mary K. in Rockport
Thumper’s harem. Impressive.
Posted by: claudia
grumble.
just yesterday was i contemplating how i didn’t miss physical new york.
this, though, i do miss.
grumble.
i think i’m pissed off now. good thing it’s bedtime now and i’ll forget by tomorrow.
grumble.
Posted by: valentina
Thumper, you are hilarious. A chip off the old block, I must say.
But my other thought is: holy crap, Mindy’s hair is long now!!!!
Wish I coulda been there, dude. Next time.
Posted by: carolyn
Wow Thumper, you were quite brave to go out and mingle with such ferocious knitters!
Posted by: Kirsten
🙂
what a cutie. you also look fantastic (as usual) so happy!
Posted by: rebecca
what an awesome post! he is completely adorable.
Posted by: amisha
Oh, the dewlaps – of course they must be gently pinched.
Posted by: Mary K. in Rockport
Thumper’s harem. Impressive.
Posted by: claudia
grumble.
just yesterday was i contemplating how i didn’t miss physical new york.
this, though, i do miss.
grumble.
i think i’m pissed off now. good thing it’s bedtime now and i’ll forget by tomorrow.
grumble.
Posted by: valentina
Thumper, you are hilarious. A chip off the old block, I must say.
But my other thought is: holy crap, Mindy’s hair is long now!!!!
Wish I coulda been there, dude. Next time.
Posted by: carolyn
Wow Thumper, you were quite brave to go out and mingle with such ferocious knitters!
Posted by: Kirsten
🙂
what a cutie. you also look fantastic (as usual) so happy!
Posted by: rebecca
what an awesome post! he is completely adorable.
Posted by: amisha
You look great! Keep getting out. It’s important for your sanity. Especially in winter.
Posted by: kate
You rock.
Posted by: john
The cheeks, the fauxhawk, but especially those thighs…irresistable!
Posted by: mindy
Love it!
Posted by: Sarah
my goodness, you are CUTE! and you know how to work it.
Posted by: mrspilkington
To put it simply? I am overwelmed by baby cuteness. What a wonderful way to end the workday….
Posted by: Kristen
I saw belly!
When will Thumper be publishing this guidebook?
Posted by: PuppyMomma
You look great! Keep getting out. It’s important for your sanity. Especially in winter.
Posted by: kate
You rock.
Posted by: john
The cheeks, the fauxhawk, but especially those thighs…irresistable!
Posted by: mindy
Love it!
Posted by: Sarah
my goodness, you are CUTE! and you know how to work it.
Posted by: mrspilkington
To put it simply? I am overwelmed by baby cuteness. What a wonderful way to end the workday….
Posted by: Kristen
I saw belly!
When will Thumper be publishing this guidebook?
Posted by: PuppyMomma