and I liked it.
Yes, you read that right. Yes, you’re at the right blog. Last night, for the first time in nearly 22 years, I ate meat. I ate it on purpose, and I liked it.
I became a lacto-ovo vegetarian in 1988, when I was fifteen. My reasons at the time were entirely ethical. I was opposed to factory farming and wanted no part of it. A fine reason. Factory farming is a nightmare for animals, for us, for the environment. As I got older, I added health as a reason for not eating meat. And surely it’s better to go without meat that’s pumped full of growth hormones and antibiotics.
But the food choices now readily available are quite different than they were in 1988. I kept on with my tofu and tempeh ways mostly, I must admit, because being a vegetarian was a huge part of my identity. It was a label I’d chosen, and clung to with the usual fierce vegetarian righteousness.
Then I read Farm City, on Rachael’s recommendation (and thanks to a gift certificate from her. Thanks again, lovey!). I read about Novella Carpenter raising her own chickens and turkeys and rabbits and pigs for meat, and I started to feel…hungry. But I was a vegetarian. I stuffed that impulse down.
I enjoyed Farm City so much (really. Great book. Pick it up) that I finally moved on to The Omnivore’s Dilemma, about a hundred years after you all had already read it. See, I didn’t think it applied to me because I “wasn’t an omnivore.” If you’ve already read the book, you’re smiling at that, most likely. I just didn’t get it yet. The Omnivore’s Dilemma led to In Defense of Food, which lead to watching Food, Inc.
Then I picked up The Vegetarian Myth, got angry, put it down, gave it a bad rating on Goodreads, and went to buy some more tofu.
A couple months went by.
I fed the vegetable garden some steer manure, some bone meal. My garden isn’t vegetarian. I bought some more tofu.
I finished reading a novel and wanted some nonfiction, so I started reading the copy of Animal, Vegetable, Miracle that I’d snagged at a neighbor’s book swap last winter. That was what finally tipped the scales. Well, that and my thirty-seventh birthday on August 20th. I suppose I lean more toward the reflective around birthdays.
I’d become a vegetarian at fifteen in good faith, for good reasons. But then I’d put that decision on cruise control for twenty-two years. It was time to revisit it. If my reasons were still valid–for me personally, of course. I didn’t judge those who ate meat before and I do not judge those who don’t eat it now–then I would continue as I’d been. If they weren’t valid, I’d consider adding some pastured meat to my diet.
So the factory farming thing. Factory farming is destroying our health and our environment, and it’s undeniably cruel to animals. Factory farmed meat is still out. But I’m not fifteen anymore and it’s not 1988. I can very, very easily buy meat directly from local farms where the chickens, cows, pigs, turkeys, and maybe even bunnies (not sure yet if I can eat bunnies) were allowed to live as they are meant to, the cows grazing on grass, the chickens eating bugs, the pigs rooting around and being…well…piglike. I have easy access to clean meat from animals raised humanely and sustainably. We’ve been getting our eggs from just such a farm for a few months now (ever since I read The Omnivore’s Dilemma) and it would just be a matter of adding a bit of meat to the order we’re already putting in each week.
There’s also this: I’ve been opting out of the factory-farm economy but in terms of food dollars I haven’t been doing anything to help the situation. Not eating meat isn’t a vote against factory farms–it’s like sitting out an election because you don’t like the political system, letting your vote go to waste. By supporting local, sustainable farms who treat their animals well, I’m voting with those food dollars. I’m helping to ensure that such farms continue to exist.
So the factory farm reason got crossed out. Now how about my being a vegetarian because it’s healthier. With factory farmed meat, I think that’s true. But with pastured meat I’m not at all sure it is. I was in the habit of telling people I felt better without meat, that my body ran better without it and everyone’s system is different. Everyone’s system is different, sure, but now that I’m looking at my choices totally honestly, that was a load of bullshit on my part. I have no idea if my body runs better with or without meat because I haven’t had a bite of it since I was FIFTEEN.
And you know what? I wasn’t one of those pizzaterians. I had studied vegetarian nutrition and chose my food with care. I was never once anemic, even during my pregnancies. But still…I get sick really easily. I never manage to fight off any cold or flu that’s going around. That started when I was 21, but I don’t know if that is because of the vegetarian diet, because I had Lyme disease when I was 21, or because I have shitty luck. Basically, I’m saying I’m not sure one way or the other about the health issue.
There went my reasons for not eating meat, but did I have any solid reasons FOR eating it? It comes back to that steer manure and bone meal in the garden. When I was fifteen I thought, with all the arrogance of youth, that it was possible to lower my position on the food chain. That I could remove myself from the cruelty of nature. After all, Morrissey taught me that Meat is Murder, yeah? But the food chain isn’t so much a chain as a circle, is it? And we can’t remove ourselves from nature. Why would you want to? I’m not above the natural world. I am an animal and I am part of it. I want to take my place again.
Okay…and maybe I’m also a little bit curious about what rabbit and duck taste like.
I will only eat pastured meat. I’m going to take it slowly, and only eat it in moderation. And we’ll see how it goes. I’m not going to say I will now always eat meat. The change is flexibility. I’m open to it. We’ll see how it goes.
AWESOME. I can’t think of anything else to say. And “AWESOME” not because you’re eating meat, but because of how thoroughly and seriously you’ve thought about the decision, and how wonderfully you outline it here. Loved reading this.
I still haven’t read The Omnivore’s Dilemma. I know, I know, I should.
I really enjoyed all the points you made, thanks for sharing how you’ve looked at this over the years. I even passed it on to my Mom, who has been a vegetarian with some doubts lately.
I’m with you. Became vegetarian c.1990 after reading revolting Atlantic article about poultry processing. But last summer I learned I could join a Polyface Farms (Pollan writes about them) buying club and get their pastured meats and eggs almost monthly. A benefit of living in Virginia, but I hope small natural farms survive in most states. I may not be eating meat even every week, but if I can feel good about the source, I’m going to eat some bacon/chicken/sausage. I have two pork chops in the freezer that I have no idea how to cook ~
Thoughtful is the best example.
Well, I think you know that I recently made a similar change, and it was entirely for health reasons. Namely, that I was so constantly hungry (because of my activity level) that it was driving me crazy. (Soy allergy + 200 miles/wk of cycling = pass the turkey sandwich). I still don’t eat much meat, but when I do, I’m sated for a LOT longer than I am from vegetarian meals. No sudden passing out while on the bike. And, of course, I do LIKE it.
Thanks for the post, Cari. For what it’s worth, I was a vegetarian for 16 years, started eating meat at home when I was pregnant for many of the same reasons you mention (we participate in a meat CSA), and I’ve really felt good about the whole thing. (We have meat dinners ~2 or 3 times a week, veg the rest of the time.)
Plus, the CSA meat tastes fucking AMAZING.
Yes – what Em said! (And if you ever decide to dip your toes in the pool of happy pastured pork or beef, our serial killer freezer full of local goodness is right next door.)
First I want to say thank you for looking at all the issues.
Next I should say I am an omnivore.. but a dear friend of mine who was vegan who really looked at her food miles and realized that eating soy and tempeh really wasn’t a good idea when she thought about it. She decided to eat local food including some sustainable meat. Her amount of colds and flus went down considerably.. She knows I eat local (ok mostly. I get alot of my meat and veg from my family’s farms. both are 3 hrs away.) and she said she attributes her ability to fight off colds to eating a more balanced seasonal diet.
even if you go back to being vegetarian, at least you loked at all your options. And that is something that everyone should periodically do.
NOTE TO SELF: Cari’s birthday is your anniversary. Don’t forget next year.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
Yeah, I’ve felt healthier since I became a pescatarian. I eat white meat chicken if I know it is organic and free range, especially when I know it is from a good small farm that takes care of its animals.
I admire your decision. I appreciate that you thoughtfully took a direction that made sense to you. You’ve never been a breast beating preacher and I’ve always respected your choice. (Like you care…) But congratulations. I hope you enjoy some new recipes!
Congratulations on being open to re-addressing decisions and deciding what’s right for you now. I actually think, for various reasons, that when I stop having kids in the house, I might become a vegetarian. But for now, pastured, local, non-antibiotic meat is just fine. And while I love beans, sometimes they just can’t compare to a grilled filet. 🙂
Great post, Cari! We recently joined a meat CSA and it’s amazing. I love it!
OMG! From suggesting that one book, I created a meat-eater! (Kidding aside, really, I support this well-thought out choice, and thanks for talking about it.)
I did the same thing this year. After 18 years of being vegetarian and many years of recognizing the inner conflict surrounding being vegetarian and my reasons for it, I ventured back into the responsible meat eating world. Hard to say if I feel any different–I also started full time work on a farm and so I feel different for many reasons.
I had my first burger 2 weeks ago. I was at the farm where he was raised. His name was Larry, and he’d had his date with the butcher about a month before. I couldn’t come up with a better first burger scenario if I penned it myself.
I’ll look forward to reading how it goes and how you feel.
Oh, and rabbit is delicious.
What a wonderful entry to read. I read “Animal, Vegetable, Miracle” this past winter and LOVED it, which was about the same time I finally watched Food, Inc. I couldn’t stop talking about the book with friends. I am reading “In Defense of Food” right now, with “Omnivore’s Dilemma” on order from the inter-library loan (so you are not the last one to read it).
We have been enjoying farm-fresh local eggs for 1 1/2 years now, and I really want to find a source for local meats.
Oh, and Happy (belated) Birthday. Mine was yesterday.
I really appreciate your candor about your reasons for and against here. I wish I could read this to Jon right now — more accurately, I wish he would listen to some of it. Maybe I should visit and raid Heather’s freezer?
I’ve been thinking about this post all day, and… well, here’s the thing. Meat is environmentally expensive, any way you slice it. It just is. Local meat still takes a crapload of resources to produce, even if it’s not big farming- and I know that’s my thing and not everybody cares about that the way I do, and that’s fine, but my curiosity has the better of me. How do you reconcile that? Not on your personal list?
My daughter has just recently decided to become a vegetarian and she has mentioned factory farming quite often. I’m going to share this post with her. I don’t think it will hit home at this point as she’s a little self-righteous about the whole thing right now but it will certainly be future “food” for thought.
it’s tempting to write a long response, but will say that i share some parallel with you in this. in addition to my kid climbing on the outside of the stairs.
Thank you for such an interesting post! Not a Veg. but really enjoyed reading some of the food books you mentioned. I ponder these things lots…love hearing your thoughts. Take care!
Great post. I’m definitely a regular eater shopper and don’t think much about where my food comes from (except the deer dh shot which is in the freezer). I will say factory meat is starting to taste well tasteless. Thanks for the push to look past the grocery store.
We are thinking meat-eaters at our house…which for us means eating the elk and deer we hunt in the mountains above town. I feel unbelievably lucky that we can eat both so “locally” and so “naturally.” Knowing *exactly* where our meat comes from, as well as processing it entirely on our own, connects me to what I eat and to this place in a very real and important way.
Duck and rabbit taste kind of like dark meat turkey. They’re good. And fresh free-range turkey has a frozen Butterball beat hands down: you’ll never go back to frozen. My family can tell the difference in the taste of supermarket meat and the good free-range stuff, and won’t even eat supermarket meat (made the mistake of getting some suspermarket pork ribs to smoke for a summer holiday cook-out. Never again).
What an interesting post today. Good on you for re-evaluating such a long-held and basic belief.
I eat very carefully, but heavy on the Whole Foods purchased lean protein and veggies. This has worked great for me, health-wise. I hope that this experiment works well for you too.
Great post. I stopped eating red meat 18 years ago. I had been too poor to afford it for awhile and found that I had lost my ability to digest it and then became more aware of factory farming methods. I still ate poultry sometimes when visiting friends, family and restaurants. It was just easier that way. I never gave up wild-caught seafood. Last year, I was recovering from surgery and really, really craving red meat. Like you, I realized that the food options had changed and that I could easily have an occasional burger made from local pasture-raised beef.
Eating rabbit seemed much more common about 25 years ago. My memory is that it’s like chicken, but a bit richer and stringy.
All I can say is rabbit is very, very, very good and really cheap to raise in your backyard if you can handle the butchering part. That’s the part that stops me. I think I could do it but I’m not so sure.
But rabbit is very tasty. Welcome to this new adventure!
Took me a while to respond because at first I was very much Go You, way to take a reflective approach to living. And then I read stephanie’s comment… and I paused. Meat is environmentally expensive, but of all the things we do, eating meat actually isn’t the most important decision we make. It’s where we live (and how far we travel, both daily and annually). I did a little comparison on a Carbon Footprint Calculator (just one measure, true, but a very good one). For someone like you, eating meat increases your carbon consumption about 0.5 tons per year. An individual exactly like you who takes 6 long-haul trips per year consumes nearly 9 more tons of carbon. So eat the meat, if only rarely.
I’ve been following your blog all the way back to when dogs stole your yarn, lol. My second child and your first were born 12 days apart, so sometimes I feel like I’ve been watching him grow up in person rather than on your blog. For as long as I’ve been reading (but now commenting nearly as often as most) I’ve never known you to make a decision on a whim. You always present valid reasons for the things you do, and clearly you’ve weight the decision to reintroduce meat into your diet with the same careful consideration. I had to go vegetarian last summer based on a sudden bad reaction to what i suspect was probably the growth hormones in the meat. I had to take advantage of a friend who has a masters in nutrition because I’m also allergic to milk and soy. It’s tough to be a vegetarian if you can’t eat tofu, or milk proteins, so after about 6 months I went back on fish. I seem to tolerate it just fine, and I’ve been healthy. If you can bring meat back into your diet a little at a time and feel good about doing it, more power to you. Sometimes we just need to make a change and there’s nothing wrong with that 🙂