nap, nap…oh my god will you please nap?!?!
Today I am acutely, painfully, desperately (insert additional melodramatic adverbs here) aware of how very far we have moved from our (my) support system.
Billy has been out of town on business since Wednesday. He gets back late tonight, after Thumper’s bedtime, and gets up for work tomorrow morning before Thumper and I wake up, so that means I’m single-parenting it until tomorrow evening.
It’s been tiring being the only parent on duty for so many days (handknit socks off to you single moms. How the hell do you do it?), but I’ve been managing. Holding down the fort, etc. We’ve had healthy meals every day. The kitchen is clean. The kid is clean. I’ve been managing, and we’ve been having our usual good time together.
But last night Thumper was restless and tossing and turning and nursing every hour or so, so I got broken sleep at best, and he woke up two hours earlier than usual this morning and is still GOING GOING GOING and will not take a nap. We’ve been reading, nursing, took an hour-long stroller walk…all my best tricks to bring on the nap and nope…he’s wide awake. I desperately need him to nap. Oh my fucking god do I need this kid to nap.
And now he’s calling… Fussing. Nap on the horizon? Maybe? Gotta go tend to the boss.
Hang in there. He’s bound to nap sooner or later. And all us moms know exactly how you feel. I have so been there…done that…still doing that! My kids tag team me and one night one will be up and fussy…the next he will sleep fine and then the 2 year old will be up and fussy and won’t sleep. Sometimes I don’t even know how I keep my eyes open during the day…let along function. Caffiene really helps 🙂
Posted by: Stephanie
Next time he wants to play, I suggest you try blowing him some bubbles. You get to put your feet up, but he’ll get lots of exercise chasing the bubbles around. More exercise, should equal a tired boy who is ready for a nap.
Good luck to you!
Posted by: LaurieM
ouch. I hate when that happens! I remember being so sick, DH was away and the boy WOULD NOT SLEEP. I still don’t know how I got through that… maybe I didn’t and this is all a dream?
Just remember its tough work being a toddler- many things to do, see, tough and taste. Eventually they just fall over from exaustion.
Good Luck!
Posted by: Colleen
Oh lord, Cari. I hope Thumper had his nap soon after you posted. My kids are 34 and you brought such flashbacks of total exhaustion and desperately needing a break that I think I am going to have some hot buttered rum or something.
Posted by: Judith in NYC
I remember those days and crying. A ride in the car maybe?
Posted by: Kathy
Hang in there. He’s bound to nap sooner or later. And all us moms know exactly how you feel. I have so been there…done that…still doing that! My kids tag team me and one night one will be up and fussy…the next he will sleep fine and then the 2 year old will be up and fussy and won’t sleep. Sometimes I don’t even know how I keep my eyes open during the day…let along function. Caffiene really helps 🙂
Posted by: Stephanie
Next time he wants to play, I suggest you try blowing him some bubbles. You get to put your feet up, but he’ll get lots of exercise chasing the bubbles around. More exercise, should equal a tired boy who is ready for a nap.
Good luck to you!
Posted by: LaurieM
ouch. I hate when that happens! I remember being so sick, DH was away and the boy WOULD NOT SLEEP. I still don’t know how I got through that… maybe I didn’t and this is all a dream?
Just remember its tough work being a toddler- many things to do, see, tough and taste. Eventually they just fall over from exaustion.
Good Luck!
Posted by: Colleen
Oh lord, Cari. I hope Thumper had his nap soon after you posted. My kids are 34 and you brought such flashbacks of total exhaustion and desperately needing a break that I think I am going to have some hot buttered rum or something.
Posted by: Judith in NYC
I remember those days and crying. A ride in the car maybe?
Posted by: Kathy
Oh the memories you bring back of my kids hne they were toddlers. It’s hard work single-handedly taking care of a toddler. If he doesn’t nap though, he might get to bed real early and sleep really sleep. Hang in there.
Posted by: Martha
Whenever we miss naps and stop sleeping at night, I think I’ll lose my marbles. It’s no picnic… and I agree that I can’t begin to appreciate how single mothers juggle everything. I am *so* grateful to be doing this in a partnership. Hopefully Thumper will find his old rhythms when dad gets home.
Posted by: sophiagrrl
Oh, shoot. My theory about these sorts of days is a) he’s coming down with something or b) he’s going through a growth spurt. Probably my desperate grasping at any reason for the pain of going through it, but….
Hang in there, honey.
Posted by: Norma
The hind milk, or late milk, which is higher in fat content, doesn’t come in until 2 hours from the last nursing. If he is nursing hourly, then he won’t get the hind milk, which is more satisfying, and it will propagate an exhausting cycle of constant nursing. Hold him off until the two hour mark by whatever means (drive in the car, singing, bathtime, pacing, etc) and see if that helps.
I’ve been there. My sympathy is high. He might be picking up on your stress/distress level as well, making him react differently… find some humor – it definitely helps!
Posted by: Dianna
I totally hear you. My husband works every other weekend. 12 hour shifts. By Sunday night I’m just relieved I can go to work the next morning and be an adult and talk to adults. We all love our kids but this time one-on-one makes me very glad I have a husband that is coming home eventually.
Posted by: Michele
Oh the memories you bring back of my kids hne they were toddlers. It’s hard work single-handedly taking care of a toddler. If he doesn’t nap though, he might get to bed real early and sleep really sleep. Hang in there.
Posted by: Martha
Whenever we miss naps and stop sleeping at night, I think I’ll lose my marbles. It’s no picnic… and I agree that I can’t begin to appreciate how single mothers juggle everything. I am *so* grateful to be doing this in a partnership. Hopefully Thumper will find his old rhythms when dad gets home.
Posted by: sophiagrrl
Oh, shoot. My theory about these sorts of days is a) he’s coming down with something or b) he’s going through a growth spurt. Probably my desperate grasping at any reason for the pain of going through it, but….
Hang in there, honey.
Posted by: Norma
The hind milk, or late milk, which is higher in fat content, doesn’t come in until 2 hours from the last nursing. If he is nursing hourly, then he won’t get the hind milk, which is more satisfying, and it will propagate an exhausting cycle of constant nursing. Hold him off until the two hour mark by whatever means (drive in the car, singing, bathtime, pacing, etc) and see if that helps.
I’ve been there. My sympathy is high. He might be picking up on your stress/distress level as well, making him react differently… find some humor – it definitely helps!
Posted by: Dianna
I totally hear you. My husband works every other weekend. 12 hour shifts. By Sunday night I’m just relieved I can go to work the next morning and be an adult and talk to adults. We all love our kids but this time one-on-one makes me very glad I have a husband that is coming home eventually.
Posted by: Michele
Sesame Street and a sippy cup.
Posted by: Bonnita
Awww, hang in there! You are not alone!!! You are bonded with mommies everywhere who have gone through the same thing! Remember that this too shall pass. He WILL nap and you will get some rest (eventually). Just when you reach the breaking point, there IS a break through.
(((hugs))) and you are doing a wonderful job!
Posted by: Katie
My husband used to call this behavior my daughter’s “campaign for single child-hood.”
And it worked!
Posted by: Lynn in Tucson
I think Thumper and my Boy were on the same page this afternoon. UGH!!!
I hear ya about the single-parenting thing. My husband has a work trip he’ll be going on in the not-so-distant future, and I’ll be doing the very same thing myself. I’m already trying to plan the hell out of those six days, so I can keep myself sane and keep my Boy happy. Lots of day trips, visits from friends, and maybe, just maybe, a day with some help from my mom or sister. We’ll see.
I’m pulling for ya.
Posted by: Anna
a big hug to you!
Posted by: Jaime
Hang in there!
I promise You’ll get your sanity back when your Billy gets home. I know that my Billy is always the light at the end of the tunnel… At the end of a long, high pitched screaming, constantly sucking, overly needy, sleep deprived tunnel.
The hand off is going to be SO sweet!
And I am totally with you on the single momming. They are freaking amazing… I can not even fathom how any of them even survive!?
Posted by: Robin
Sesame Street and a sippy cup.
Posted by: Bonnita
Awww, hang in there! You are not alone!!! You are bonded with mommies everywhere who have gone through the same thing! Remember that this too shall pass. He WILL nap and you will get some rest (eventually). Just when you reach the breaking point, there IS a break through.
(((hugs))) and you are doing a wonderful job!
Posted by: Katie
My husband used to call this behavior my daughter’s “campaign for single child-hood.”
And it worked!
Posted by: Lynn in Tucson
I think Thumper and my Boy were on the same page this afternoon. UGH!!!
I hear ya about the single-parenting thing. My husband has a work trip he’ll be going on in the not-so-distant future, and I’ll be doing the very same thing myself. I’m already trying to plan the hell out of those six days, so I can keep myself sane and keep my Boy happy. Lots of day trips, visits from friends, and maybe, just maybe, a day with some help from my mom or sister. We’ll see.
I’m pulling for ya.
Posted by: Anna
a big hug to you!
Posted by: Jaime
Hang in there!
I promise You’ll get your sanity back when your Billy gets home. I know that my Billy is always the light at the end of the tunnel… At the end of a long, high pitched screaming, constantly sucking, overly needy, sleep deprived tunnel.
The hand off is going to be SO sweet!
And I am totally with you on the single momming. They are freaking amazing… I can not even fathom how any of them even survive!?
Posted by: Robin
My thoughts go out to you. I often wonder how single mums manage. Its funny (in Australia – don’t know if this happens elsewhere or not) but so many people think single women have a kid to get the single parent benefits!!! INSANE! Hope that he had a nap. My daughter isn’t big on naps – although at this stage she is still having one nap a day – I hate hearing stories of toddlers older than her that sleep for 12 hours at night and then have 2 2hour naps! If only!! Hang in there…
Posted by: Sharon
Yep, Thumper sounds like he’s entered the “Baby on Wheels” stage. So active and alert! But when my dear one reached the stage where I was asking, “what is going on with this kid?” it usually turned out she was coming down with something. Also, eating all the time was another clue: it’s like instinctively the body knows that little will be eaten for the next few days. Fingers crossed though- maybe he’s just busy!
Posted by: Dorie
Honestly? You kind of get used to it after a while. Not that I’m a single mom, but the hubby is active duty Navy, so he goes out for a week here, a week there, 6 weeks right after the baby was born, 6 months when the baby was 6 months old (but he made it back in time for the first birthday)…. If it happens often enough, you do get used to it. That, and increasing fom one pot of coffee per day to two….
Posted by: Cathy
De-lurking to say he might be getting molars? That’s a great one for waking every hour at night and wanting to nurse constantly because the mouth is so uncomfortable. Not that there has to be an answer. Just a break sometimes.
Posted by: Natalie O.
God, your pain came through so crystal clear. Isn’t it interesting how many comments resulted. It goes to show how united mommies are. If we are not currently going through it we have and even if it was a while ago, your description sent us right back there!!!! I hope these predictions of illness are off course! I hope sleep came at last. I hope you are off to the coffee shop or bed when Billy gets in!!!! 🙂 I “amen” the other commenter – The pass-off is soooo sweet!
Posted by: KaKi
give me a call if you ever need another adult to help out! i don’t have kids, but normally act like a big kid myself and make the fussy ones confused. it’s a lot of fun. 🙂
have you seen the snow yet?!? just a dusting, but still beautiful…
Posted by: shannon in oregon
My thoughts go out to you. I often wonder how single mums manage. Its funny (in Australia – don’t know if this happens elsewhere or not) but so many people think single women have a kid to get the single parent benefits!!! INSANE! Hope that he had a nap. My daughter isn’t big on naps – although at this stage she is still having one nap a day – I hate hearing stories of toddlers older than her that sleep for 12 hours at night and then have 2 2hour naps! If only!! Hang in there…
Posted by: Sharon
Yep, Thumper sounds like he’s entered the “Baby on Wheels” stage. So active and alert! But when my dear one reached the stage where I was asking, “what is going on with this kid?” it usually turned out she was coming down with something. Also, eating all the time was another clue: it’s like instinctively the body knows that little will be eaten for the next few days. Fingers crossed though- maybe he’s just busy!
Posted by: Dorie
Honestly? You kind of get used to it after a while. Not that I’m a single mom, but the hubby is active duty Navy, so he goes out for a week here, a week there, 6 weeks right after the baby was born, 6 months when the baby was 6 months old (but he made it back in time for the first birthday)…. If it happens often enough, you do get used to it. That, and increasing fom one pot of coffee per day to two….
Posted by: Cathy
De-lurking to say he might be getting molars? That’s a great one for waking every hour at night and wanting to nurse constantly because the mouth is so uncomfortable. Not that there has to be an answer. Just a break sometimes.
Posted by: Natalie O.
God, your pain came through so crystal clear. Isn’t it interesting how many comments resulted. It goes to show how united mommies are. If we are not currently going through it we have and even if it was a while ago, your description sent us right back there!!!! I hope these predictions of illness are off course! I hope sleep came at last. I hope you are off to the coffee shop or bed when Billy gets in!!!! 🙂 I “amen” the other commenter – The pass-off is soooo sweet!
Posted by: KaKi
give me a call if you ever need another adult to help out! i don’t have kids, but normally act like a big kid myself and make the fussy ones confused. it’s a lot of fun. 🙂
have you seen the snow yet?!? just a dusting, but still beautiful…
Posted by: shannon in oregon
*sympathy* and good luck to you. I hate it when J. travels.
Posted by: Amy
Bless your heart! I hope he naps soon. Mine does better if I wear him out first with chasing around the back yard. Might be worth trying.
Posted by: Saralyn
Hang in there kiddo…I remember quite well what its like to have a small child that just won’t stop, but they do eventually they do stop and nap.
Posted by: Ilona
Yikes! It sounds like you are doing a great job. Hang in there!
Posted by: Knittripps
You are a superstar. You knit well and write well and blog well and parent well. Affirmation, ho! 🙂 Good luck today.
Posted by: Laurakeet
*sympathy* and good luck to you. I hate it when J. travels.
Posted by: Amy
Bless your heart! I hope he naps soon. Mine does better if I wear him out first with chasing around the back yard. Might be worth trying.
Posted by: Saralyn
Hang in there kiddo…I remember quite well what its like to have a small child that just won’t stop, but they do eventually they do stop and nap.
Posted by: Ilona
Yikes! It sounds like you are doing a great job. Hang in there!
Posted by: Knittripps
You are a superstar. You knit well and write well and blog well and parent well. Affirmation, ho! 🙂 Good luck today.
Posted by: Laurakeet
I hope, hope that Thumper napped yesterday and that neither of you are sick. Do you have any junior high/high school kids in your neighborhood? We pay a girl $5/hour to come over after school once a week to give me a break. She has no idea how desperately I need that break some weeks. Ditto re parenting solo; it is so hard when K is on busines trips.
Posted by: Tanya
My commiserations. The days my son fights his naps tooth and nail I’m usually ready to pull my hair out because I really depend on those two one-hour-ish breaks every single day. It is amazing how much I depend on that time and I don’t notice it until he has one of those rare off days. Hope tomorrow goes better for you!
Posted by: Tara
Ugh – solo parenting is really tough. I escaped to NJ while Matt was in Hong Kong a couple of weeks ago, not sure I really needed to. He was gone ELEVEN days! I was soooo glad I did. But we’ve been there, without a papa. I think Dad being gone really affects a kid. They notice! Good luck to you!
Posted by: Anneliese
my 22 month old has taken to frequent wakings and much more attachment to the boob, both day and night. i noticed his bottom molars are coming in, who knows if this is the cause…?
Posted by: joanna
oh I know exactly how that feels.
Right when you’re really tired too.
They do sleep. Eventually. Honest.
Posted by: Alison
You just hang in there. Even when you think you have nothing left, you can still hang in there. Believe me. I know. I’ve always been a single mom. There has never been child support or every other weekend at dad’s or anything. My kiddo is 14, now. I can’t tell you how to do it, just that it is possible to hang in there until help arrives. I’m glad Billy’s back, though, because I do know how hard it is.
Posted by: kendall
I hope, hope that Thumper napped yesterday and that neither of you are sick. Do you have any junior high/high school kids in your neighborhood? We pay a girl $5/hour to come over after school once a week to give me a break. She has no idea how desperately I need that break some weeks. Ditto re parenting solo; it is so hard when K is on busines trips.
Posted by: Tanya
My commiserations. The days my son fights his naps tooth and nail I’m usually ready to pull my hair out because I really depend on those two one-hour-ish breaks every single day. It is amazing how much I depend on that time and I don’t notice it until he has one of those rare off days. Hope tomorrow goes better for you!
Posted by: Tara
Ugh – solo parenting is really tough. I escaped to NJ while Matt was in Hong Kong a couple of weeks ago, not sure I really needed to. He was gone ELEVEN days! I was soooo glad I did. But we’ve been there, without a papa. I think Dad being gone really affects a kid. They notice! Good luck to you!
Posted by: Anneliese
my 22 month old has taken to frequent wakings and much more attachment to the boob, both day and night. i noticed his bottom molars are coming in, who knows if this is the cause…?
Posted by: joanna
oh I know exactly how that feels.
Right when you’re really tired too.
They do sleep. Eventually. Honest.
Posted by: Alison
You just hang in there. Even when you think you have nothing left, you can still hang in there. Believe me. I know. I’ve always been a single mom. There has never been child support or every other weekend at dad’s or anything. My kiddo is 14, now. I can’t tell you how to do it, just that it is possible to hang in there until help arrives. I’m glad Billy’s back, though, because I do know how hard it is.
Posted by: kendall