Not wanting more than you need, or the perils of getting caught up in house porn
The one that got away
WeÂ’re moving to Portland because (besides the fact that we love Portland and want to live there), given our specific set of circumstances (the value of our house here vs. the cost of houses there; BillyÂ’s earning potential in his particular field there) Portland will afford us a significantly better quality of family life than we currently have in New York. With the profit from this house (yes, I ordered a St. Joseph statue to bury in the front yard), weÂ’ll be able to buy a house out there with either a very small mortgage or no mortgage. I wonÂ’t have to work while the kids are young. WeÂ’ll be able to save money and contribute to our retirement accounts. Great plan, provided we stick to it.
When we were out there in May, looking at houses, we saw some really nice places in our price range—the price range we determined because it would allow us to follow that plan I just outlined. All of those houses we saw then are gone, because we can’t make an offer out there until we’re in contract here. We’re working with a really great realtor, and he continues to send me listings. Last week, he sent me the listing for my dream house. Absolutely my dream house. Pristinely restored Craftsman house in a great location in SE Portland. Dripping with original details. In beautiful condition. People…there was a sleeping porch off the master bedroom. Built-ins everywhere. Dark wood. A lovely yard. Big front porch for people-watching. And at the very top of our price range, but still in that range. It should have been priced $25k higher at least, but they wanted to sell quickly. And sell they did. In two days. We couldn’t move on it because that was when Buyer #4 pulled his crap. And then it was gone.
I forgot all about the houses we’d liked very much at the lower end of our range. All I was able to think about was this gorgeous beast of a Craftsman that I’d missed out on. We started looking for more houses like that one, and the prices crept up and up. We found ourselves saying, “Well, maybe we set our price range too low. Maybe we should be looking to spend 50k more. Look what great houses we could get for 100k more.” We did the math. We’d be able to swing it.
But, see…that’s what we’ve been doing all along, and it hasn’t been working. We don’t want to “swing” as much as we can. We don’t need a perfectly restored Craftsman house dripping with original details. We WANT that. What we NEED is a nice, simple house in good condition with at least three bedrooms and one bath, with upgraded mechanicals, in a close-in neighborhood. We can get that at the bottom and middle of our price range just fine and achieve that goal of very low monthly expenses.
I’m glad we caught ourselves before we got too wrapped up in it and made an offer on some fantastic house that would have been way more than we need. We managed to bring each other back down to earth, and we looked again at the less-expensive houses, saw again how very nice some of them were, how perfectly suitable to a young family. Maybe in a few years we’ll be in a position to buy one of those fancy Craftsman houses. But maybe after living in a nice, simple house for those few years, we won’t feel the need to “trade up” anymore.
WeÂ’ve got a kind of fancy-pants house now. It needs work, still, as old houses do, but itÂ’s got a lot of original Craftsman detail. ItÂ’s a big house by New York standards, with a big yard. And weÂ’re swinging it, but itÂ’s a stretch now that IÂ’m not working. When we found this house, it was my dream home. And now that weÂ’ve lived here for four years, itÂ’s just our house. Some days I don’t even notice the built-ins or the fireplace or the woodwork. I see the kitchen that needs cleaning and the garbage that needs taking out. WeÂ’ve already stretched ourselves for a beautiful house just beyond our price range. The point is to not recreate our New York life, mistake by mistake, in Portland. The point is to do something different, something smarter and simpler. I suspect IÂ’ll be coming back to the post, from time to time, to remind myself of that.
You know, I love my house more than I can tell you. There’s stuff that needs doing, and I’d LOVE to remodel that bath into something nice and the deck need some work. But it is a great house.
And you know the best thing about it? I can afford it easily on my own.
Keep thinking the way you’re thinking now.
Posted by: Juno
You know, I love my house more than I can tell you. There’s stuff that needs doing, and I’d LOVE to remodel that bath into something nice and the deck need some work. But it is a great house.
And you know the best thing about it? I can afford it easily on my own.
Keep thinking the way you’re thinking now.
Posted by: Juno
Hear, hear. I might have to refer back to this post myself. Our issue is adding the addition to our house– how much will it be? How can it not double our monthly house payments? What will we not be able to do because of this choice? But more walls means we can buy more art! And we won’t step all over each other any more– a plus for our marriage. And my Ranchero can come down from Missouri to live in the new garage. And Dave can tinker on his cars in the garage. And we’ll have a bathtub…
I would have such a hard time resisting a Craftsman. I do have such a hard time resisting them.
You still get to live the way you’re choosing, and that’s what counts. Yippee!
Posted by: anina
I hate losing the house that you really want. We finally took ours (here in PDX) off the market after a year. Do NOT WORRY, you will have so many houses to choose from when the time comes…there are so many additional ones coming on the market.
Posted by: LeAnne
So, if that one sold to someone else, it wasn’t your Dream Home, because if it was, it would have been waiting for you. Something else wonderful will come along, and you will love it, and you will be able to move on it when it does come. You should LOVE your house if you’re going to spend so many hours of your life working to pay for it, right?
Posted by: Carrie
Portland is a wonderful area. My brother in law lives there with his family. And yes, they have some gorgeous houses. Keeping in your price range is a smart idea. Just remember that you can always make changes to fit your needs exactly as your family grows. Good luck with selling your house.
Posted by: Evelyn
You’re so smart to remember what your ultimate goal is, even in the face of beauties such as that Craftsman…sounds dreamy, but the financial freedom is even dreamier, right?
Posted by: beverly
I don’t know what your price range is but I do know that anything in the range of $300,000 or less tends to sell in 48 hours [TheBoy is not a realtor but he does work that puts him in constant touch with what’s on the market although I can’t say what.] It’s crazy to me.
Posted by: TheBon
So sorry that one got away. But another perfect one will come along.
Those Craftsman houses are a dime a dozen here in Windsor (of course, all old houses near downtown are a dime a dozen here, it’s the only city in Canada where housing prices are not going up right now). You don’t want to know how much ours cost, you’d come right up here and kick me. Of course, ours is far from fully restored. It’s way more towards the falling apart end of the spectrum.
Posted by: jodi
Clarifying my post with “in this part of Oregon” because obviously that’s not the case every place!
Posted by: TheBon
Keep looking – the “right” house will be there when you are ready on the NY end. (and p.s., from experience, do go for two bathrooms, especially if the plans include more than one kid!)
Posted by: Jean
Cari! Really, the right house will come along. House hunting is crazy, isn’t it? I’ll keep my eyes peeled for you, too, and work on some good house vibes!
Posted by: Mariko
Good for you! Way to get back to your original goal.
Posted by: Jen S
Hear, hear. I might have to refer back to this post myself. Our issue is adding the addition to our house– how much will it be? How can it not double our monthly house payments? What will we not be able to do because of this choice? But more walls means we can buy more art! And we won’t step all over each other any more– a plus for our marriage. And my Ranchero can come down from Missouri to live in the new garage. And Dave can tinker on his cars in the garage. And we’ll have a bathtub…
I would have such a hard time resisting a Craftsman. I do have such a hard time resisting them.
You still get to live the way you’re choosing, and that’s what counts. Yippee!
Posted by: anina
I hate losing the house that you really want. We finally took ours (here in PDX) off the market after a year. Do NOT WORRY, you will have so many houses to choose from when the time comes…there are so many additional ones coming on the market.
Posted by: LeAnne
So, if that one sold to someone else, it wasn’t your Dream Home, because if it was, it would have been waiting for you. Something else wonderful will come along, and you will love it, and you will be able to move on it when it does come. You should LOVE your house if you’re going to spend so many hours of your life working to pay for it, right?
Posted by: Carrie
Portland is a wonderful area. My brother in law lives there with his family. And yes, they have some gorgeous houses. Keeping in your price range is a smart idea. Just remember that you can always make changes to fit your needs exactly as your family grows. Good luck with selling your house.
Posted by: Evelyn
You’re so smart to remember what your ultimate goal is, even in the face of beauties such as that Craftsman…sounds dreamy, but the financial freedom is even dreamier, right?
Posted by: beverly
I don’t know what your price range is but I do know that anything in the range of $300,000 or less tends to sell in 48 hours [TheBoy is not a realtor but he does work that puts him in constant touch with what’s on the market although I can’t say what.] It’s crazy to me.
Posted by: TheBon
So sorry that one got away. But another perfect one will come along.
Those Craftsman houses are a dime a dozen here in Windsor (of course, all old houses near downtown are a dime a dozen here, it’s the only city in Canada where housing prices are not going up right now). You don’t want to know how much ours cost, you’d come right up here and kick me. Of course, ours is far from fully restored. It’s way more towards the falling apart end of the spectrum.
Posted by: jodi
Clarifying my post with “in this part of Oregon” because obviously that’s not the case every place!
Posted by: TheBon
Keep looking – the “right” house will be there when you are ready on the NY end. (and p.s., from experience, do go for two bathrooms, especially if the plans include more than one kid!)
Posted by: Jean
Cari! Really, the right house will come along. House hunting is crazy, isn’t it? I’ll keep my eyes peeled for you, too, and work on some good house vibes!
Posted by: Mariko
Good for you! Way to get back to your original goal.
Posted by: Jen S
Very well said. I think the whole house buying process is way stressful anyway…and then you get into the what if’s and the can we have’s and can get in way over your head. We looked for location for our house. It isn’t my dream house. It’s a house we could afford and stay in the same school district for the kids. It was at the very top of our price range but we wanted a big yard and 4 bedrooms.(and is one of the crappier houses for the area for sure!!) So…I hear ya. It’s been a bit of a struggle at times and we have been swinging it too. I know how hard that is. I think you are definitely thinking smartly :o)
Posted by: Stephanie
“The point is to not recreate our New York life, mistake by mistake, in Portland. The point is to do something different, something smarter and simpler.”
Exactly.
We’ll be celebrating our 1 year anniversary with Portland on August 7th.
Posted by: Michelle
I’m right there with you. I don’t want to go from just getting by in CA to the same situation in OR. We’re going to take our time when we are looking, and make sure that we are getting a house that will be good for us, for the long term. We also want to get into a neighborhood that suits us. We are currently renting in Beaverton, which is still way too suburb-y for our taste.
Posted by: Jean
It’s nice to hear about other people who are deciding to simplify so that they can stay home and invest more time in their children while they’re small. It’s a tough decision, but I think its worth the sacrifices. I haven’t looked at houses in the Portland market for a while, but I remember that there are a whole lot of Craftsman houses around. I’m sure you’ll find the right one when you’re ready to buy.
Posted by: Saralyn
I understand your reasoning. I do. I bought a house well within my price range, too. But I feel compelled to pass on this bit of advice, which I got from my father and neglected to take. (My father came here as a penniless immigrant and made millions and millions in real estate, so he apparently knows what he’s talking about.) Buy as much house as you can possibly afford. The more your house is worth when you buy it, the more it appreciates while you do nothing but live in it. Simply put, the more expensive your house, the more money it makes for you. I wish I had taken his advice, but I didn’t, so I’m passing it on to you. Do with it as you wish.
Posted by: Suzanne V. (Yarnhog)
I always knew you were a sharp one.
Posted by: Cassie
I am SO EXCITED for you! Being with it enough to realize this is exactly how you achieve financial independence.
I have to say: Our Den has gotten us through a lot of storms. Working, not working, even BOTH of us not working for a while. Having lower expenses than our neighbors has enabled a much more comfortable lifestyle with a lot less freaking out about how to maintain it.
Posted by: Mother Chaos
I feel your pain. Yeah, we need to keep an eye on the market, know what’s what, where’s where, what things are going for, how fast they’re selling…so we can make an informed decision we can feel comfortable with. But wow does it hurt when that perfect house pops up at the perfect price and you beg the stars to align (in our case, a transfer) in time. And they don’t. Enjoy our dreamhouse, you lucky new owners of 1122 M St.
And it is tempting to look at the ones we’d stretch for, especially coming from such an inflated market. But then I think back to times when money was tight and ask myself if that’s how we want to live for the next 15/30 years. Nope.
Anyway, good luck!
Posted by: Wendy
Doin’ the same dance, but staying East. Thanks for putting it down in words. House porn bad. Financial stress WORSE. Balance, good. Better quality of life. Best.
Posted by: Spinneret
I don’t know why it is so, but for some reason house-shopping can end up being the most impulsive of all purchases, when it should be just the opposite. One doesn’t really want a home to be a splurge – it just needs to be a comfy place to keep your things. I think it’s just hard, in our culture, to aim for less, because all we hear all day and all night is that we should try for more more more.
Posted by: Lizbon
PS. And I’ve come to believe that I don’t like the idea of a “dream house.” I think a house should be more like soil to stick your feet in, not a dream that’s above your head.
Posted by: Lizbon
Very well said. I think the whole house buying process is way stressful anyway…and then you get into the what if’s and the can we have’s and can get in way over your head. We looked for location for our house. It isn’t my dream house. It’s a house we could afford and stay in the same school district for the kids. It was at the very top of our price range but we wanted a big yard and 4 bedrooms.(and is one of the crappier houses for the area for sure!!) So…I hear ya. It’s been a bit of a struggle at times and we have been swinging it too. I know how hard that is. I think you are definitely thinking smartly :o)
Posted by: Stephanie
“The point is to not recreate our New York life, mistake by mistake, in Portland. The point is to do something different, something smarter and simpler.”
Exactly.
We’ll be celebrating our 1 year anniversary with Portland on August 7th.
Posted by: Michelle
I’m right there with you. I don’t want to go from just getting by in CA to the same situation in OR. We’re going to take our time when we are looking, and make sure that we are getting a house that will be good for us, for the long term. We also want to get into a neighborhood that suits us. We are currently renting in Beaverton, which is still way too suburb-y for our taste.
Posted by: Jean
It’s nice to hear about other people who are deciding to simplify so that they can stay home and invest more time in their children while they’re small. It’s a tough decision, but I think its worth the sacrifices. I haven’t looked at houses in the Portland market for a while, but I remember that there are a whole lot of Craftsman houses around. I’m sure you’ll find the right one when you’re ready to buy.
Posted by: Saralyn
I understand your reasoning. I do. I bought a house well within my price range, too. But I feel compelled to pass on this bit of advice, which I got from my father and neglected to take. (My father came here as a penniless immigrant and made millions and millions in real estate, so he apparently knows what he’s talking about.) Buy as much house as you can possibly afford. The more your house is worth when you buy it, the more it appreciates while you do nothing but live in it. Simply put, the more expensive your house, the more money it makes for you. I wish I had taken his advice, but I didn’t, so I’m passing it on to you. Do with it as you wish.
Posted by: Suzanne V. (Yarnhog)
I always knew you were a sharp one.
Posted by: Cassie
I am SO EXCITED for you! Being with it enough to realize this is exactly how you achieve financial independence.
I have to say: Our Den has gotten us through a lot of storms. Working, not working, even BOTH of us not working for a while. Having lower expenses than our neighbors has enabled a much more comfortable lifestyle with a lot less freaking out about how to maintain it.
Posted by: Mother Chaos
I feel your pain. Yeah, we need to keep an eye on the market, know what’s what, where’s where, what things are going for, how fast they’re selling…so we can make an informed decision we can feel comfortable with. But wow does it hurt when that perfect house pops up at the perfect price and you beg the stars to align (in our case, a transfer) in time. And they don’t. Enjoy our dreamhouse, you lucky new owners of 1122 M St.
And it is tempting to look at the ones we’d stretch for, especially coming from such an inflated market. But then I think back to times when money was tight and ask myself if that’s how we want to live for the next 15/30 years. Nope.
Anyway, good luck!
Posted by: Wendy
Doin’ the same dance, but staying East. Thanks for putting it down in words. House porn bad. Financial stress WORSE. Balance, good. Better quality of life. Best.
Posted by: Spinneret
I don’t know why it is so, but for some reason house-shopping can end up being the most impulsive of all purchases, when it should be just the opposite. One doesn’t really want a home to be a splurge – it just needs to be a comfy place to keep your things. I think it’s just hard, in our culture, to aim for less, because all we hear all day and all night is that we should try for more more more.
Posted by: Lizbon
PS. And I’ve come to believe that I don’t like the idea of a “dream house.” I think a house should be more like soil to stick your feet in, not a dream that’s above your head.
Posted by: Lizbon
I only have one thing to say: TWO BATHROOMS. Nothing else matters. Ask me how I know this.
Posted by: Margaret
Low overhead will always give you greater flexibility — just how it works!
Posted by: Kathy
Oh yes! Smart plan.
Having made that kind of sacrifice, I can honestly say it is well worth it.
Posted by: LaurieM
The first thing that came to mind while reading this post was the maturity of it. Many of us forget there is a difference between what we want and what we need, and when the line is blurred, it can get us into trouble. I should know…
Good luck house hunting! I hope the statue works for you, too!
Posted by: Anna
I bet houses like that just grow like weeds in Portland.
Posted by: Michelle
Yes, yes, yes, yes, and YES.
Posted by: Norma
When I had my babies, we lived in a vintage 1970’s suburban home in the Kansas City suburbs. We’re talking shag carpets, wood panelled “den”, orange kitchen counters– the works. While your muse may need a bit more in the aesthetics department than that, I can truly say that your growing family won’t. Your happy, involved presence will more than make up for any lack of architectural greatness in the house. (And, to be honest, it’s a lot of fun now to have the time, money, and energy to play with creating a home in the house I always wanted.)
Posted by: Anna
We’re in the midst of doing just what you’re doing–trying to make our lives smarter and simpler. We’re leaving terribly-overpriced Boston to move to a small town in the Finger Lakes, where our housing money will go much farther, we can make ends meet on part-time salaries, and we can have much more time with our kids.
It’s so stressful getting from Point A to Point B, but you just have to keep reminding yourself about your dream. It WILL happen!
Posted by: Tracy WW
Yeah- I get caught up in the bells and whistles too and it always kicks me in the behind. I just focus on what my commitment and vision are. Is it to have bells & whistles or a family/life that works? Really liked this post. Thanks.
Posted by: KT
Way to go! You will love your house when you move because you will have the peace of mind of knowing that it will not be yanked out from under you if you have a bad month or two. It will be *yours* completely, not the bank’s, and that’s the biggest reason you’ll love it so passionately.
Of course I say this as my husband and I are on the verge of buying a new car instead of a used one to replace our dead one, and about to move into a bigger, more expensive apartment because we “need more space.” (It’s only slightly more expensive, though–we could spend tons more in the same area for the same square footage).
Posted by: Sneaksleep
ah, the portland real estate is a bitch, isnt’ she? keil and i have found ourselves doing the same thing as we watch from afar and slowly count down until we can dive in ‘for real.’ we’re trying to impose a serious head check here too – thanks for the reminder.
Posted by: heather
I only have one thing to say: TWO BATHROOMS. Nothing else matters. Ask me how I know this.
Posted by: Margaret
Low overhead will always give you greater flexibility — just how it works!
Posted by: Kathy
Oh yes! Smart plan.
Having made that kind of sacrifice, I can honestly say it is well worth it.
Posted by: LaurieM
The first thing that came to mind while reading this post was the maturity of it. Many of us forget there is a difference between what we want and what we need, and when the line is blurred, it can get us into trouble. I should know…
Good luck house hunting! I hope the statue works for you, too!
Posted by: Anna
I bet houses like that just grow like weeds in Portland.
Posted by: Michelle
Yes, yes, yes, yes, and YES.
Posted by: Norma
When I had my babies, we lived in a vintage 1970’s suburban home in the Kansas City suburbs. We’re talking shag carpets, wood panelled “den”, orange kitchen counters– the works. While your muse may need a bit more in the aesthetics department than that, I can truly say that your growing family won’t. Your happy, involved presence will more than make up for any lack of architectural greatness in the house. (And, to be honest, it’s a lot of fun now to have the time, money, and energy to play with creating a home in the house I always wanted.)
Posted by: Anna
We’re in the midst of doing just what you’re doing–trying to make our lives smarter and simpler. We’re leaving terribly-overpriced Boston to move to a small town in the Finger Lakes, where our housing money will go much farther, we can make ends meet on part-time salaries, and we can have much more time with our kids.
It’s so stressful getting from Point A to Point B, but you just have to keep reminding yourself about your dream. It WILL happen!
Posted by: Tracy WW
Yeah- I get caught up in the bells and whistles too and it always kicks me in the behind. I just focus on what my commitment and vision are. Is it to have bells & whistles or a family/life that works? Really liked this post. Thanks.
Posted by: KT
Way to go! You will love your house when you move because you will have the peace of mind of knowing that it will not be yanked out from under you if you have a bad month or two. It will be *yours* completely, not the bank’s, and that’s the biggest reason you’ll love it so passionately.
Of course I say this as my husband and I are on the verge of buying a new car instead of a used one to replace our dead one, and about to move into a bigger, more expensive apartment because we “need more space.” (It’s only slightly more expensive, though–we could spend tons more in the same area for the same square footage).
Posted by: Sneaksleep
ah, the portland real estate is a bitch, isnt’ she? keil and i have found ourselves doing the same thing as we watch from afar and slowly count down until we can dive in ‘for real.’ we’re trying to impose a serious head check here too – thanks for the reminder.
Posted by: heather
ps. for the record – only a bitch because when you’re used to the ny market and you have such lovely craftsman goodness available out there, you can so easily convince yourself that you need more than you really need.
Posted by: heather
I congratulate you and your family for what you are doing. I think it is really wonderful, very smart, and super practical. Day by day we are going through the same simplification process but on a much smaller scale. It is tough work distinguishing between wants and needs. Best wishes!
Posted by: knittripps
Don’t worry, Cari. Houses move fast in PDX, but great new ones always come up again soon. Getting something you can manage(financially), without being a slave to it’s maintenance (time), will make you a lot happier as a family. You’ll have the time and money to enjoy all of the hiking, strolling, kayaking, biking, sipping wine, playing at the park… that you are looking forward to being involved in here.
Posted by: Julie
Most sensible thoughts.
But ohmigod, that’s one beautiful house…
Posted by: marrije
I truly believe that sometimes in life we have experiences that are serendipitously (sp?) put there just to make us truly SEE what really matters in life. That house? That was your check/balance moment. A moment to step back and remember the true basis of why you are moving to Portland. To make a better life for your family. Hear, hear! to you for realizing that before you went house-crazy.
Your right, your today “dream home” would be “just” your home in a few years time and would it then be worth all the sacrifice you would have had to make to get it? I think not. Not when you are going to instead have hundreds of memories of quality time spent with your loved ones (aka thumper and hubby) and with thousands of hours of PEACEFUL sleep not worrying about “swinging” it.
Keep the picture of the house and remember how fate was pushing you to remember what TRULY MATTERS! Your house will come. You’ll see.
Your “DREAM” home is the house where you can peacefully dream without having to sleeplessly toss and turn in bed over the worries that come when one “swings” it.
Posted by: knittingnurse
My husband, born and raised in NYC; my son, now 19, also born in NYC; and I used to live in the Rockaways, Queens about 15 years ago. When we left NYC, my son had just turned 4 and had a Brooklyn accent. We left because standard of living had gone up the roof, quality of life was going down fast. Crime was up! And to have a child in the city, it was just too much for us, commuting to work, commuting to his school. At the end of 1991, we left for Eugene Oregon. We missed NYC terribly and for quite awhile, I questioned the decision to move to a smaller city. But now thinking about it, the decision to leave gave us the quality of life we would have not experienced had we stayed in NYC.
What we did when we left the East Coast, was to rent for awhile here in Eugene. Had to feel the new location to see where we really wanted to buy a house. Now we are happy where we are now, by the hills with views. You can take my advice or not, but I believe it’s worth a big move from the East Coast to the Northwest.
And PORTLAND IS GREAT!
Posted by: oyama
That *IS* a beautiful house, I’m drooling too. But how amazing that you can afford ANY house and only have one of you work – that’s such a blessing!
Posted by: Patti
My husband and I are in the EXACT same position -keep thinking the way that you are. Trading down is hard, but you’ll never regret the time you got to spend with your kids.
Posted by: Paula
Finding a house is like buying wool. The right one will find you.
We’re ten years in our house and have been able to dodge the comments about trading up. This is where we will share our lives. We are defined by more than the size of our mortgage.
Best of luck.
Posted by: Angie
Our situation isn’t quite comparable, since we’re looking for a rental in Missoula (though we’ll be landlords of our Baltimore house), but we also have had to rein in our hopes. Specifically, we have to take…. the house that allows pets.
And I didn’t choose the singular article by accident.
Posted by: Sutton
ps. for the record – only a bitch because when you’re used to the ny market and you have such lovely craftsman goodness available out there, you can so easily convince yourself that you need more than you really need.
Posted by: heather
I congratulate you and your family for what you are doing. I think it is really wonderful, very smart, and super practical. Day by day we are going through the same simplification process but on a much smaller scale. It is tough work distinguishing between wants and needs. Best wishes!
Posted by: knittripps
Don’t worry, Cari. Houses move fast in PDX, but great new ones always come up again soon. Getting something you can manage(financially), without being a slave to it’s maintenance (time), will make you a lot happier as a family. You’ll have the time and money to enjoy all of the hiking, strolling, kayaking, biking, sipping wine, playing at the park… that you are looking forward to being involved in here.
Posted by: Julie
Most sensible thoughts.
But ohmigod, that’s one beautiful house…
Posted by: marrije
I truly believe that sometimes in life we have experiences that are serendipitously (sp?) put there just to make us truly SEE what really matters in life. That house? That was your check/balance moment. A moment to step back and remember the true basis of why you are moving to Portland. To make a better life for your family. Hear, hear! to you for realizing that before you went house-crazy.
Your right, your today “dream home” would be “just” your home in a few years time and would it then be worth all the sacrifice you would have had to make to get it? I think not. Not when you are going to instead have hundreds of memories of quality time spent with your loved ones (aka thumper and hubby) and with thousands of hours of PEACEFUL sleep not worrying about “swinging” it.
Keep the picture of the house and remember how fate was pushing you to remember what TRULY MATTERS! Your house will come. You’ll see.
Your “DREAM” home is the house where you can peacefully dream without having to sleeplessly toss and turn in bed over the worries that come when one “swings” it.
Posted by: knittingnurse
My husband, born and raised in NYC; my son, now 19, also born in NYC; and I used to live in the Rockaways, Queens about 15 years ago. When we left NYC, my son had just turned 4 and had a Brooklyn accent. We left because standard of living had gone up the roof, quality of life was going down fast. Crime was up! And to have a child in the city, it was just too much for us, commuting to work, commuting to his school. At the end of 1991, we left for Eugene Oregon. We missed NYC terribly and for quite awhile, I questioned the decision to move to a smaller city. But now thinking about it, the decision to leave gave us the quality of life we would have not experienced had we stayed in NYC.
What we did when we left the East Coast, was to rent for awhile here in Eugene. Had to feel the new location to see where we really wanted to buy a house. Now we are happy where we are now, by the hills with views. You can take my advice or not, but I believe it’s worth a big move from the East Coast to the Northwest.
And PORTLAND IS GREAT!
Posted by: oyama
That *IS* a beautiful house, I’m drooling too. But how amazing that you can afford ANY house and only have one of you work – that’s such a blessing!
Posted by: Patti
My husband and I are in the EXACT same position -keep thinking the way that you are. Trading down is hard, but you’ll never regret the time you got to spend with your kids.
Posted by: Paula
Finding a house is like buying wool. The right one will find you.
We’re ten years in our house and have been able to dodge the comments about trading up. This is where we will share our lives. We are defined by more than the size of our mortgage.
Best of luck.
Posted by: Angie
Our situation isn’t quite comparable, since we’re looking for a rental in Missoula (though we’ll be landlords of our Baltimore house), but we also have had to rein in our hopes. Specifically, we have to take…. the house that allows pets.
And I didn’t choose the singular article by accident.
Posted by: Sutton
Great post, Cari. I think this is a common affliction… but realizing it and opting out of it is rare. 🙂
Good house-hunting luck to you!! Maybe one of these lovelies would bring you luck (I’m a sucker for good luck charms): http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5174302
Posted by: Mandy
Great post, Cari. I think this is a common affliction… but realizing it and opting out of it is rare. 🙂
Good house-hunting luck to you!! Maybe one of these lovelies would bring you luck (I’m a sucker for good luck charms): http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5174302
Posted by: Mandy