Onward, yes
But also a bit of wallowing and a bit of sulking. And all while weighted down by the tail end of a cold, and waking up on Wednesday morning with my top lip totally swollen by cold sores (boy did that make me feel pretty. Yeah. Stress sometimes gets the cold sores going on me).
But now it’s Sunday again and I’m in the usual Sunday place, working on the novel. And it’s a beautiful warm sunny day and I’m sitting next to an open window and outside Portland is walking by in short sleeves and tattoos, and the coffee is good and the novel’s moving along well and my guys are hopefully out having fun and all is more or less right with the world. You know…in the immediate small sense. Because of course things are not at all right with the world, but let’s not get into that right now.
Gail has decided not to drawer the book. There’s nowhere she immediately thinks would be the right next place to submit it, but she wants to keep options open. When/if she comes across an editor who she thinks would receive the book well at a house that she thinks would publish it well, she’ll submit it again. So it’s in a drawer, but in an open drawer. I’m okay with that.
A key phrase there, “at a house she thinks would publish it well.” That matters. Publication at any cost does not serve me well in the long term. When I wrote the last post, I knew there would be some well-intentioned calls to self-publish. I had initially included a big long explanation of why that is not an option, and then deleted it. I’m not going to get into the particulars here, but will just say… No. Self-publishing is not an option. I’m thinking beyond this one little book. Thinking ahead to the writing career as a whole, thinking long term. I worked in book publishing for a long time, and so I’m speaking with some experience here. Self-publishing isn’t going to set anyone up for a career in serious literary fiction. Period.
And the teensy tiny very very small presses, while they may do terrific work and I’m glad they’re out there, are also not the best option for me at this time. I only get to publish my debut novel once, you know? Or maybe you don’t. But I’m going to back away from this for now. I feel like I’m arguing with the bathroom mirror. I’ve put my career in the hands of an extremely experienced agent, and I trust her.
Last week was a lost week. Time to dig out from under. The house is trashed. I think I cooked dinner all of once last week. I didn’t bake any bread, though I did manage to feed the starter. Now, for real, and I mean it,
Onward.
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You know what you’re doing and so does Gail. Maybe this is one of those life plot twists that sucks but makes the book interesting.
Posted by: Anne
I don’t blame you for having a tough time getting on with the onward plan. This is a big one to get over. And I’m glad Gail is not going to stick the book in the drawer yet. And I think you’re absolutely right about not going with self-publishing or eentsy presses. None of this is earth-shattering commentary, I realize, but I just wanted to chime in and say, yeah, that’s hard, and you’re right to do what you’re doing. And all that good jazz.
Love the image of “Portland is walking by in short sleeves and tattoos.”
Posted by: Lizbon
You know what you’re doing and so does Gail. Maybe this is one of those life plot twists that sucks but makes the book interesting.
Posted by: Anne
I don’t blame you for having a tough time getting on with the onward plan. This is a big one to get over. And I’m glad Gail is not going to stick the book in the drawer yet. And I think you’re absolutely right about not going with self-publishing or eentsy presses. None of this is earth-shattering commentary, I realize, but I just wanted to chime in and say, yeah, that’s hard, and you’re right to do what you’re doing. And all that good jazz.
Love the image of “Portland is walking by in short sleeves and tattoos.”
Posted by: Lizbon
Delurking, here.
Self-publishing is NOT an option. I am not a writer, but I was married to one, and that is not a road you want to go down. I know.
You will continue to write, and you will find a publisher, when things are right.
/delurking
Posted by: misstea
Has the overseas market been tapped yet?
Coincidentally, my friend Martin’s releasing his second (serious) novel in England, and he tells me this weekend that so far he has not found a publisher in America, though he had one for his first book. Maybe it didn’t sell well enough? But he thinks the subject matter is too touchy for the American audience.
Posted by: Norma
I am glad to here that the novel hasn’t been completely put away yet. I hope you find someone to publish it for you.
Posted by: Keatyn
Delurking to say I love the way you write (AND the way you knit) and I am sending you good energy for finding the right publisher. It will all come together.
Posted by: Cate
I too get cold sores from stress! So I know that feeling…. Unfortunately I don’t know much about the literary world, but I know its hard to go past the disappointment of having things not work out to plan. Hope that things work out.
Posted by: Sharon
Delurking, here.
Self-publishing is NOT an option. I am not a writer, but I was married to one, and that is not a road you want to go down. I know.
You will continue to write, and you will find a publisher, when things are right.
/delurking
Posted by: misstea
Has the overseas market been tapped yet?
Coincidentally, my friend Martin’s releasing his second (serious) novel in England, and he tells me this weekend that so far he has not found a publisher in America, though he had one for his first book. Maybe it didn’t sell well enough? But he thinks the subject matter is too touchy for the American audience.
Posted by: Norma
I am glad to here that the novel hasn’t been completely put away yet. I hope you find someone to publish it for you.
Posted by: Keatyn
Delurking to say I love the way you write (AND the way you knit) and I am sending you good energy for finding the right publisher. It will all come together.
Posted by: Cate
I too get cold sores from stress! So I know that feeling…. Unfortunately I don’t know much about the literary world, but I know its hard to go past the disappointment of having things not work out to plan. Hope that things work out.
Posted by: Sharon
Onya for not going into self-publishing! And for listening to your smart, experienced agent. That is, indeed, what you have her for. It’s going to happen when it is going to happen, and I’m glad to hear that she loves your book and wants only the best for it, too.
Posted by: marrije
I think it’s great that publishing is going to be on your terms. I think there’s something of a pressure to write and be published no matter what. That’s the first question someone asks after you say you’re a writer after all. Good for you for sticking to your guns.
Posted by: Phoe
Some weeks are like that. The key is not to let that week bring down the next, and next, and next, which you are doing beautifully.
Posted by: Jodi
Yep, it’s OK. Always best to think long-term. At some point, you’ll look back and all this crap will make sense, I bet.
Posted by: alison
Go, you. You can do it.
Posted by: Amy
Onya for not going into self-publishing! And for listening to your smart, experienced agent. That is, indeed, what you have her for. It’s going to happen when it is going to happen, and I’m glad to hear that she loves your book and wants only the best for it, too.
Posted by: marrije
I think it’s great that publishing is going to be on your terms. I think there’s something of a pressure to write and be published no matter what. That’s the first question someone asks after you say you’re a writer after all. Good for you for sticking to your guns.
Posted by: Phoe
Some weeks are like that. The key is not to let that week bring down the next, and next, and next, which you are doing beautifully.
Posted by: Jodi
Yep, it’s OK. Always best to think long-term. At some point, you’ll look back and all this crap will make sense, I bet.
Posted by: alison
Go, you. You can do it.
Posted by: Amy
Good for you!! in taking the stand of letting go a little bit. Sort of along the lines of losing the battle but winning the war. It is so hard to let go, even for awhile, of the dreams we have worked so long and diligently for.
Gosh, your descriptions of Portland have made me very nostalgic for San Diego, which was my West Coast home for many years.
Best – Hester
Posted by: Hester from Atlanta
I am sorry for all the stress. I hope you have some nice sock yarn to make you feel better 🙂 I know it seems wrong but I buy myself some nice yarn when I am feeling down. I was passed over for a promotion this year and spent a little money at Blue Moon to ease the frustration. I like the sound of an “open drawer”.
Posted by: Knittripps
I’m sorry to hear the book is in a drawer (even an open one).
And I’m sorry to hear this story from other new authors as well. My friend managed to sell her first book, but it took many years and she received many of the same comments: “We like it, but we don’t think it will sell”. Now with her second book finished, she can’t sell it until the fate of the first one in the market place is assessed. If it doesn’t sell well, this one might go in the drawer.
Sigh.
I know they can’t all sell, but it does seem like nothing much has changed since books started being written and published. It’s too bad, I’m really hoping to read Drowning Practice someday.
Posted by: Dr.Steph
This doesn’t help with the book situation, but there is help for cold sores. Valtrex is advertised as a help for Herpes III (STD), but it also helps with Herpes I. It’s pricy, but if you only need it a couple times a year, it’s manageable. I pay about $5/pill (partially subsidized by my insurance). Take one when you first feel the itchiness, take another 12 hours later. Doesn’t eliminate them entirely, but it reduces the size and cuts the duration down to about 2-3 days. After dealing with cold sores for over 30 years, I think it’s amazing and I love it.
Posted by: Lynn
Isn’t it nice how drawers can open and close? Anytime!?
Posted by: Ande
Good for you!! in taking the stand of letting go a little bit. Sort of along the lines of losing the battle but winning the war. It is so hard to let go, even for awhile, of the dreams we have worked so long and diligently for.
Gosh, your descriptions of Portland have made me very nostalgic for San Diego, which was my West Coast home for many years.
Best – Hester
Posted by: Hester from Atlanta
I am sorry for all the stress. I hope you have some nice sock yarn to make you feel better 🙂 I know it seems wrong but I buy myself some nice yarn when I am feeling down. I was passed over for a promotion this year and spent a little money at Blue Moon to ease the frustration. I like the sound of an “open drawer”.
Posted by: Knittripps
I’m sorry to hear the book is in a drawer (even an open one).
And I’m sorry to hear this story from other new authors as well. My friend managed to sell her first book, but it took many years and she received many of the same comments: “We like it, but we don’t think it will sell”. Now with her second book finished, she can’t sell it until the fate of the first one in the market place is assessed. If it doesn’t sell well, this one might go in the drawer.
Sigh.
I know they can’t all sell, but it does seem like nothing much has changed since books started being written and published. It’s too bad, I’m really hoping to read Drowning Practice someday.
Posted by: Dr.Steph
This doesn’t help with the book situation, but there is help for cold sores. Valtrex is advertised as a help for Herpes III (STD), but it also helps with Herpes I. It’s pricy, but if you only need it a couple times a year, it’s manageable. I pay about $5/pill (partially subsidized by my insurance). Take one when you first feel the itchiness, take another 12 hours later. Doesn’t eliminate them entirely, but it reduces the size and cuts the duration down to about 2-3 days. After dealing with cold sores for over 30 years, I think it’s amazing and I love it.
Posted by: Lynn
Isn’t it nice how drawers can open and close? Anytime!?
Posted by: Ande