What a “bad” writing night looks like

Log into iChat to see who’s around. Say hi to one or two people, then tell them right away that it’s a writing night and you can’t chat. Turn on your Away message, but peek back to see who’s coming and going every time you hear the soft WHOOSH of someone logging on or off.

Quit iChat because you can’t stop checking to see who’s online.

Log on again.

Quit again, and mean it this time.

Start to read over the five pages you wrote during your really really good writing day on Sunday because reading back over what you did the other day almost counts as working.

Get distracted two paragraphs into it, wondering what the boys are up to and if Billy dressed the baby warmly enough and are they really going to ride the tricycle around the block in the dark? And is that rain you hear?

Leave your office to check on the guys. Find the tricycle parked in the hallway and the car gone. Wonder where the guys are.

Sit back down to work, read a few more paragraphs. Note that you were brilliant on Sunday. Note that you are dull today.

Get up. Make a toaster waffle for dinner. Note that you also had toaster waffles for breakfast. Note that you are turning into a lazy schlub of a starchitarian.

Sit back down to work, read one sentence. A dull dull waffle eater. Flax seed waffles. Organic. A dull dull waffle-eating hippy. That doesn’t look right. Hippie? Hippy?

Get back up to make a pot of decaf. Wonder if you should make regular instead so you can stay up all night writing, since clearly you aren’t using this writing time now.

Go with the decaf.

Write a blog post.

Delete it because it reveals way too much.

Write another blog post.

Feel guilty because you’re supposed to be doing your real writing. The “making shit up” kind of writing.

Think about having another waffle.

Pick up orange sock project from desk and knit half a round.

Pick up pink stripey sock project from desk and put it back down.

Think about deleting this post too.

Decide to post it because it’s all you’ve managed to write in the last two hours.

And now…

Back to it. Four pages minimum, and two hours left to do it.

Fuck.

50 Comments on “What a “bad” writing night looks like

  1. I hear ya, sister, only I do that dance when I am supposed to be writing for work. Makes a very entertaining blog post, though.
    Posted by: Lizbon

  2. PS. And my dance includes looking at naked pics of boy on cell phone. Technology is such an instigator. Or enabler. Or something.
    Posted by: Lizbon

  3. so glad to know i’m not the only crappy procrastinator. that reads like me on any one of my rare free weekdays this fall when i was going to have a “study blitz.” facebook and ravelry joined within a short time…ooh, bad. but you know if you get the energy late in the night, i say go for it. (yeah, i realize that’s only something you could have done pre-toddler days!)
    Posted by: k

  4. Dude…that’s just the way all the days that end in “y” go around here.

    Totally normal.

    Posted by: Stephanie

  5. why oh why has nobody solved this yet? you’d think there would be a market for a great & foolproof solution to this problem.
    Posted by: marrije

  6. I hear ya, sister, only I do that dance when I am supposed to be writing for work. Makes a very entertaining blog post, though.
    Posted by: Lizbon

  7. PS. And my dance includes looking at naked pics of boy on cell phone. Technology is such an instigator. Or enabler. Or something.
    Posted by: Lizbon

  8. so glad to know i’m not the only crappy procrastinator. that reads like me on any one of my rare free weekdays this fall when i was going to have a “study blitz.” facebook and ravelry joined within a short time…ooh, bad. but you know if you get the energy late in the night, i say go for it. (yeah, i realize that’s only something you could have done pre-toddler days!)
    Posted by: k

  9. Dude…that’s just the way all the days that end in “y” go around here.

    Totally normal.

    Posted by: Stephanie

  10. why oh why has nobody solved this yet? you’d think there would be a market for a great & foolproof solution to this problem.
    Posted by: marrije

  11. Gotta love procrastination. This happens to me a lot. The hubby’s off to work in the evening, I get the girl to sleep around 8, and I’ve been looking forward all day to writing in what little free time I have left before sleep. Why do we do this to ourselves?
    Posted by: Anna

  12. Procrastination and waffles! Breakfast of champions!

    Every day I start off with a huge list of things I “have” to accomplish but the reality is that if it’s not finished by lunch, it’s doubtful it’s going to happen.
    Posted by: liz

  13. On nights like that, I end up ‘starting’ the real writing at some ungodly hour, like midnight (oh how life has changed since being a parent) and ends a few hours later… and then I a look like death eating a cracker in the morning, hung over from sleep dep.

    Speaking of, another assignment looms and I’ve wasted my 2 work days… so this weekend, I’ll be right there with you.
    Posted by: sophiagrrl

  14. Oh yeah, I hear you. Add to that reading many other blogs when I should be drafting briefs.
    Posted by: Kathy

  15. When I was, ahm, trying to finish my Masters, I had to have the Hubby actually turn off the wireless network at the source, because I couldn’t stop wandering around online… Thank goodness Ravelry didn’t come along until I was done!
    Posted by: abby

  16. Gotta love procrastination. This happens to me a lot. The hubby’s off to work in the evening, I get the girl to sleep around 8, and I’ve been looking forward all day to writing in what little free time I have left before sleep. Why do we do this to ourselves?
    Posted by: Anna

  17. Procrastination and waffles! Breakfast of champions!

    Every day I start off with a huge list of things I “have” to accomplish but the reality is that if it’s not finished by lunch, it’s doubtful it’s going to happen.
    Posted by: liz

  18. On nights like that, I end up ‘starting’ the real writing at some ungodly hour, like midnight (oh how life has changed since being a parent) and ends a few hours later… and then I a look like death eating a cracker in the morning, hung over from sleep dep.

    Speaking of, another assignment looms and I’ve wasted my 2 work days… so this weekend, I’ll be right there with you.
    Posted by: sophiagrrl

  19. Oh yeah, I hear you. Add to that reading many other blogs when I should be drafting briefs.
    Posted by: Kathy

  20. When I was, ahm, trying to finish my Masters, I had to have the Hubby actually turn off the wireless network at the source, because I couldn’t stop wandering around online… Thank goodness Ravelry didn’t come along until I was done!
    Posted by: abby

  21. Oh, I hear you! I’ve been breaking down my “create on command” tasks into wee chunks and rewarding myself with a finite amount of knitting after each.
    Posted by: Ruth

  22. Thank you so much for putting this into words. You described exactly the morning that I am having. Just substitute “read knitblogs” for “log into iChat.”

    In the book “The New New Journalism,” a number of eminent writers talk about their procrastination techniques. My favorite is Lawrence Weschler (whom I adore anyway), who builds elaborate edifices out of a set of child’s building blocks.

    Posted by: YTT

  23. Oh yes! I see you too have prefected the art of doing nothing. I am a master at it. I can spend hours doing it. I’m not suppose to be writing…but folding clothes or doing dishes or whatever the hell it is that stay at home moms are suppose to do when the kids aren’t awake. Usually it’s none of those and I’m just left sitting here reading blogs or sucked into the time vortex that is ravelry.
    Posted by: Stephanie

  24. Hippie. (By contrast, “hippy” would refer to, um, wideness in the hip area, as in “She’s quite ~, isn’t she?”)

    Procrastination roolz.
    Posted by: alison

  25. But it makes a hell of a post. And as to hippie, Celia would know. All I’m sayin’.
    Posted by: Rachael

  26. Oh, I hear you! I’ve been breaking down my “create on command” tasks into wee chunks and rewarding myself with a finite amount of knitting after each.
    Posted by: Ruth

  27. Thank you so much for putting this into words. You described exactly the morning that I am having. Just substitute “read knitblogs” for “log into iChat.”

    In the book “The New New Journalism,” a number of eminent writers talk about their procrastination techniques. My favorite is Lawrence Weschler (whom I adore anyway), who builds elaborate edifices out of a set of child’s building blocks.

    Posted by: YTT

  28. Oh yes! I see you too have prefected the art of doing nothing. I am a master at it. I can spend hours doing it. I’m not suppose to be writing…but folding clothes or doing dishes or whatever the hell it is that stay at home moms are suppose to do when the kids aren’t awake. Usually it’s none of those and I’m just left sitting here reading blogs or sucked into the time vortex that is ravelry.
    Posted by: Stephanie

  29. Hippie. (By contrast, “hippy” would refer to, um, wideness in the hip area, as in “She’s quite ~, isn’t she?”)

    Procrastination roolz.
    Posted by: alison

  30. But it makes a hell of a post. And as to hippie, Celia would know. All I’m sayin’.
    Posted by: Rachael

  31. If you haven’t read All Is Vanity by Christina Schwartz you really should – your post really reminded me of Margaret’s struggles. So, have you got a friend back in NY whose life you could turn into a novel?

    Hmmm – if you haven’t read the book, that last comment might sound snarky – it’s really not!!
    Posted by: robin

  32. Thank you for sharing and reminding us all that things aren’t easy in real life. I am constantly amazed at how “messy” being an adult is. How did my parents manage to make it look easy?
    Posted by: knittripps

  33. It’s so good to find I’m not alone. You’ve described my “writing” days perfectly in spirit, even if the details are slightly different (no waffles in the house).
    Posted by: anmiryam

  34. When I procrastinate from writing (include reading your blog) I give myself the task to write the worst crap I can manage. That usually sets me past the block. That and Merlot.
    Posted by: Angie

  35. If you haven’t read All Is Vanity by Christina Schwartz you really should – your post really reminded me of Margaret’s struggles. So, have you got a friend back in NY whose life you could turn into a novel?

    Hmmm – if you haven’t read the book, that last comment might sound snarky – it’s really not!!
    Posted by: robin

  36. Thank you for sharing and reminding us all that things aren’t easy in real life. I am constantly amazed at how “messy” being an adult is. How did my parents manage to make it look easy?
    Posted by: knittripps

  37. It’s so good to find I’m not alone. You’ve described my “writing” days perfectly in spirit, even if the details are slightly different (no waffles in the house).
    Posted by: anmiryam

  38. When I procrastinate from writing (include reading your blog) I give myself the task to write the worst crap I can manage. That usually sets me past the block. That and Merlot.
    Posted by: Angie

  39. Thanks so much for mentioning Twisted the other day. Somehow, I hadn’t yet heard of this shop. I went by today and fell, immediately, in love. It’s probably a very good thing that I can’t walk to it or I could get into a whole lotta trouble!
    Posted by: Janice in Camas

  40. Thanks so much for mentioning Twisted the other day. Somehow, I hadn’t yet heard of this shop. I went by today and fell, immediately, in love. It’s probably a very good thing that I can’t walk to it or I could get into a whole lotta trouble!
    Posted by: Janice in Camas

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